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    kamla deviSam Biddle
    6/06/16 1:19pm

    Breakfast cereal is over-caloric, over-sugared, non-nutritious garbage. Eat a goddamn banana.

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      Nicokamla devi
      6/06/16 1:23pm

      Hey, hey, hey, hey, cereal is wonderful, and so are bananas. If I wanna have berry berry kix for lunch, that's my goddamn business! And yea, that is what I had for lunch today, because I'm a grown ass woman and I can.

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      Quasar Funkkamla devi
      6/06/16 1:23pm

      I usually have a banana and two hard-boiled eggs for breakfast, but mostly for aesthetic purposes.

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    IskaralPustSam Biddle
    6/06/16 1:15pm

    But how else will our future President hold his breakfast?

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      Sam BiddleIskaralPust
      6/06/16 1:17pm

      This kind of comment is hostile, negative, and unwanted here. Please take your mean mouth elsewhere.

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      The Double DeuceIskaralPust
      6/06/16 1:18pm

      I think Bernie prefers bagels.

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    MWarnerMSam Biddle
    6/06/16 1:23pm

    “Real fruit”

    (Checks label) - No refrigeration required, best before December 2017.

    Seems legit.

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      TopherMWarnerM
      6/06/16 1:43pm

      No, no, no.... the packaging specifically says:

      “Real*” “fruit**”

      *Nope

      **Haha, no

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      MWarnerMTopher
      6/06/16 1:49pm

      It’s funny that most people still have that unconscious positive association with “real” and “natural” on food labels, even though these two words have absolutely no legal meaning whatsoever and can be used to describe anything.

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    Johnny ChundersSam Biddle
    6/06/16 1:18pm

    Americans don’t eat anything tiny.

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      NicoJohnny Chunders
      6/06/16 1:23pm

      Yes we do, we just eat it in obscenely large quantities. And don’t forget the massive amount of Americans currently eating Trump's tiny tiny cock.

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      Johnny ChundersNico
      6/06/16 1:25pm

      “Rice is great if you’re really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.”

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    ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ : Riot GRRR is RUNNING WILDSam Biddle
    6/06/16 1:47pm

    Investors can see a bearish future for General Mills, but can they see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch?

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      Foxstar loves Bashcraftʕ•ᴥ•ʔ : Riot GRRR is RUNNING WILD
      6/06/16 4:58pm

      What’s your PSN name! I need more friendly people to cover my sucking in Overwatch!

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      ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ : Riot GRRR is RUNNING WILDʕ•ᴥ•ʔ : Riot GRRR is RUNNING WILD
      6/06/16 5:00pm

      .

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    Low Information BoaterSam Biddle
    6/06/16 1:18pm

    America is uninterested in toast that is too small to display a portrait of Jesus.

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      Quasar FunkLow Information Boater
      6/06/16 1:22pm

      Could God make a breakfast cereal so small that even He cannot appear on it?

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    dothedewSam Biddle
    6/06/16 1:16pm

    From $63.90 a share to $63.33 a share. How soon before traders are trying to throw themselves out of their non-opening windows?

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      Burntttdothedew
      6/06/16 1:24pm

      Does your copy of the picture not have the big red arrows on it?

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      Dave dothedew
      6/06/16 1:43pm

      How is there not looting in the streets?

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    Misteaks were madeSam Biddle
    6/06/16 1:20pm

    30 cents you say!!!!!

    GIF

    I’m outta here!

    GIF
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      Jerry-NetherlandMisteaks were made
      6/06/16 2:05pm
      GIF

      (Best boardroom performance ever)

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    BrianGriffinSam Biddle
    6/06/16 1:17pm

    I know this is supposed to be snarky, but for the life of me I can’t figure out why.

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      ReburnsABurningReturnsBrianGriffin
      6/06/16 1:24pm

      I thought maybe it was taking a jab at the underlying MarketWatch piece, but then I read the piece and it certainly isn’t making the stupid inference Sam implies it is, that it says that General Mills is falling today because of announcing the cereal.

      To be clear, it’s an inane piece (exactly the sort of thing that MarketWatch specializes in) that adds nothing to the press release, but it’s also not saying Mills is falling because of the announcement. I bet the poor lady who wrote that thing is sitting there thinking “Why me?” seeing as Sam could have picked any one of dozens of stories they realease every day to drop this bomb on.

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    CaptainButtersSam Biddle
    6/06/16 1:18pm

    GM Exec: “How do we take Cinnamon Toast Crunch and make it better but different all the while keeping it the same?”

    Intern: “Add dried up shriveled berries? Remove the Cinnamon?”

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      NamahottieCaptainButters
      6/06/16 1:30pm

      GM Exec <thinks...hmmm I should invest more in unpaid labor>

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      clubber-langCaptainButters
      6/06/16 2:25pm

      only a SJW would censor out the cinammon for something more fruity

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