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    AntisocialJusticeWarrior is not Anti-SJWJE Reich
    6/05/16 7:03pm

    Yay I’m so glad Sunday Night Social is happening, thank you JE!

    I posted this in Hazel Wassername’s impromptu SNS yesterday but what the hell, I’ll repeat it here. This is your SNS Brag Thread! Any grand accomplishments, big or small, you want to brag about but haven’t yet found an acceptable outlet in which to do so? My brags are that my boss complimented my organization and communication skills in a meeting, and that I mostly held it together this week while Mr. Antisocial prepares to move back in with his folks next week until he ships off to OCS.

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      MassofContradictionsAntisocialJusticeWarrior is not Anti-SJW
      6/05/16 7:07pm

      I lost nearly a full kilo this week. I also reconnected, sort of, with an old friend and might try to reconnect with another before too long.

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      AntisocialJusticeWarrior is not Anti-SJWMassofContradictions
      6/05/16 7:09pm

      Congrats on the weight loss! Reconnecting with old friends is wonderful!

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    Gwyneth P. is a reincarnated chicken nuggetJE Reich
    6/05/16 7:37pm

    DYING from happiness. Also this GRAPHIC kitchen nightmare that happened earlier.

    REALLY HORRIFY TALE AHEAD. READ AT OWNER’S EXPENSE.

    So, earlier today I was making myself a smoothie. Currently, I cannot get enough of a banana, orange, spinach (just a touch to claim “and vegetables”), mango, and OJ concoction. It is really sweet like how I like it and I have it three marvellous days in a row. Here’s what I do. I rinse my spinach off because in the UK they cellophone everything without washing it. Why???? Then I drop my peeled banana and orange in there. And get to the mango.

    Here we go. This is the holy shit please somebody take over my body part. Turn back while there is still time. Now, the mangos are on the softest side of soft. I needed to get rid of them and OMG the FLASHBACKS. I was like, “I’ll eat half and put the other half in my smoothie. Yummy. life is great. The sun is shining. Obama is still in the White House. Babies are still adorbable. Hakkuna mattata.”

    I cut the really sad part off and think about how not sustainable my lifestyle is. I vow to do better. Then (physically quaking from fear typing this) I cut into the in good condition side.

    I notice a little black thing inside.

    I look at it kind of skeptical like dafuq. What is that.

    Then the motherfucker starts MOVING.

    My heart exploded. Actually exploded.

    I thought is was like a bunch of micro worms *DIES HORRIBLY ONCE MORE* living inside the mango like in Aliens with Signorney Weaver. But is was a spider. The legs moved first really subtle like and I was immobile with fright and so so so sad. Just one leg at a time. Then one side at once. Then the body came out. Holy Satan. I was so scared. So completely startled and I will need a cigarette for my nerves for the rest of my life.

    I called both my sisters in near tears like, “I NEED MY FAMILY. THIS IS WHAT FAMILY IS FOR. THIS IS YOUR TIME TO SHINE PEOPLE.”

    Now, I feel like I’ll never be the same person again. I am a changed woman. There is so much scary fruit in my house. I thought about leaving my house altogether and starting over in Space because Earth isn’t working for me. If The Shining happens in for me personally, this will definitely be my clown flashback. *SHUDDERS. THEN DIES*

    How was your Sunday?

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      MelissamacheteGwyneth P. is a reincarnated chicken nugget
      6/05/16 7:42pm

      Do you remember that story of the little old lady who bought some bananas and came home and a bunch of deadly Brazilian banana spiders spewed out and she called the British version of the CDC and they literally said “burn it with fire.” I would maybe do that.

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      DontBeSuchaBoobPunchTinaGwyneth P. is a reincarnated chicken nugget
      6/05/16 7:43pm

      Good thing you’re not in the habit of just biting into them!

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    mocenaJE Reich
    6/05/16 7:39pm

    I was contacted on Friday by an old college friend (been out of college for 15 years or so) I used to hang out with during and after college, but not recently because I moved away. He likes to send me gchats about every six months to complain about being lonely and not keeping up with everyone we went to school with, even though he doesn’t do social media. This guy had a crush on every girl we knew in college (myself included) and was insufferable about it, although never directly inappropriate to anyone (unless you count repeatedly declaring his love for girls who were in relationships and had told them they weren’t interested). ANYWHOOZLE, in the course of Friday’s rather one-sided gchat (I generally do the gchat equivalent of smiling and nodding at him), he decided to bring up this old story about my college roommate and former close friend.

    Now I had heard this story before from him, but never really thought about it much. The story was that my roommate had convinced him to fall in love with her, kissed him, and abruptly dumped him, all somehow in order to punish me because she hated me and was also crazy. When he had initially told me the story, I was surprised to learn she hated me and also that she chose messing with a guy I wasn’t involved with was the way to express that, but chalked it up to crazy things people do. But when I heard the story on Friday, I immediately realized it was absolute bullshit.

    So I decided that enough was enough, and I messaged my college roommate on FB, saying hi, since we hadn’t talked for ages (at least partially because I have been told for years that she secretly loathes me by this guy). I told her flat out what he’d been saying about her, and she told me what ACTUALLY happened, which was that he had a bad day once, and she kissed him on the cheek, trying to cheer him up, and immediately told him that it didn’t mean anything, and that she was trying to cheer him up, and then he acted like they were dating afterwards and was generally stupid about it. She also confirmed that she does not hate me, because I have done nothing to her, and that even if she did, she wouldn’t try to “get to” me through this idiot. We had a lovely conversation and are going for drinks in the near future, when we’re in the same area.

    Guys, I should have known. Why didn’t I realize he’d been full of shit all this time? I feel like an idiot. I always felt bad for him for being so generally hopeless with women and he was fun to hang out with if you could get past the mooning after anyone with tits and a smile. Luckily, I won’t have to deal with him again if I don’t want to, since he doesn’t contact me often, but it pisses me off to no end that he pulled THIS shit and managed to convince me that a former good friend of mine has hated me for 15 years. I just don’t understand what the fuck he has to gain from all this. Asswipe.

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      deerlady83mocena
      6/05/16 8:06pm

      That’s an asshole thing to do to you both. I think he did that to have you and your attention.

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      Poodletimemocena
      6/05/16 8:16pm

      Men sometimes have this idea that if they cause drama among girlfriends, it will help them get dates, because the girlfriends will be angry with each other and have more time to go out with them. It rarely works, but can cause a lot of trouble for women. This kind of thing always reminds me of that scene in 9 to 5 where Dolly Parton, Jane Fonda, and Lily Tomlin find out that their evil boss has been spreading rumors about them with the intent, successful up until that point, of distracting them from how bad their working conditions were and how much better they could do if they banded together.

      What a scumbag!

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    someuseforanameJE Reich
    6/05/16 7:04pm

    So I just bought ‘Eat Pray Love’, after two unrelated people at different points of the same day recommend it. (I thought it must be some kind of cosmic message or something *shrug*)

    Urgh, what a self- indulgent pile of dog poo. I’m only at page 20 and already I can’t stand her, she’s so passive aggressive towards her ex husband whilst trying to come across some spiritual beacon full of peace and love. I don’t know if this style of writing is supposed to reflect her demeanour before she takes this ‘spiritual journey’ or if she really is that awful in real life.

    I just wanted to vent, has anyone else got an opinion on this book?

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      GunterGrassfedsomeuseforaname
      6/05/16 7:08pm

      I think the author is very insightful and intelligent but those qualities are all filtered through an insufferable pretty rich white woman lens.

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      tealstarsomeuseforaname
      6/05/16 7:09pm

      I read it years ago. All I remember is that it was blah. The only people I have met who enjoyed reading the book are middle-class white SAHMs.

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    someuseforanameJE Reich
    6/05/16 7:13pm

    I’m usually asleep by SNS, midnight is too late for me, but anxiety is keeping me up recently. I have so much to say! But the main thing - I’m avoiding getting twitter as my crappy phone can’t handle many more apps. I have been thinking about it recently because I want to keep in the loop with all you Jezzies.

    So- should I get twitter? Am I missing out on the gossip? Any opinions?

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      AntisocialJusticeWarrior is not Anti-SJWsomeuseforaname
      6/05/16 7:16pm

      I just got Twitter last week at the urging of some awesome Jezzies here in SNS. It seems like a pretty good way to keep in touch with Kinja/Jez friends, so I’d recommend it!

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      shelwoodAntisocialJusticeWarrior is not Anti-SJW
      6/05/16 7:23pm

      Ahem.... Twinja.

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    PinkBunnyHatJE Reich
    6/05/16 8:17pm

    This is probably too far down to be seen, but I need some, support?, I’m not sure. My job is not good for my mental health, I was considering ways to just end everything on my drive home yesterday, and that my husband would just be better off without me. I wouldn’t actually kill myself, I’ve had suicidal thoughts since I was about 12 and I’m 35 now, so still kicking around, just really feeling depressed and withdrawn from everything. I definitely want to start looking for a different job, but what do you say in an interview, if I get any interviews, when they ask why you want to leave your job after only 6 months?

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      PoodletimePinkBunnyHat
      6/05/16 8:27pm

      Honey, that really sucks. I have no advice to give, since I have never hated any job that much! BUT I give you sympathy, That sounds really hard.

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      PinkBunnyHatPoodletime
      6/05/16 8:30pm

      Thanks, it just feels like every day is a fresh new opportunity to learn why everything I do is wrong.

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    jinniJE Reich
    6/05/16 7:13pm

    What happened, last night? I’m so curious!!

    Also: Ramadan Kareem/Ramzan Mubarak for all who are observing!

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      Anne.Onomousjinni
      6/05/16 7:33pm

      I have honestly been looking forward to Ramadan so much! I’m not religious myself but I swear for a month of fasting... SO MUCH FOOD IS EATEN!!! It’s so great.

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      jinniAnne.Onomous
      6/05/16 7:59pm

      Thank you for your nice comment!

      Iftars are amazing. What is more amazing than water when you are thirsty? Love when you are alone?

      I have been thinking so much about simplicity, lately, and the great dimensions it adds to life.

      Every day, I try to meditate, exercise (light), and clean: and usually end up doing all three. It gives my life structure (which I sorely need — this is not my natural inclination!), and comes before all else. Also, years ago, I cut out added sugar due to a diagnosis of pre-diabetes. I do not have loads of friends but treasure those I have.

      And last night, this sense of peace and simplicity descended on me.

      And I realised that I was living my perfect life (for me). I try to eat simply and lightly (do not always succeed!) while at home; and engage in these various tasks, and do what needs to be done. Also: due to certain injuries in my life, I have to avoid loud noise, and many forms of transportation. And all of this — all of this — was excruciating in the beginning. No television, no dancing, mostly no fun, social excursions, and an extremely solitary life. And then no sugar to boot!

      In the end, this has turned out to be one of the greatest blessings of my life. I had always been interested in meditation and the rituals of a monastic life (I’m no monk, though!), and now life was giving me the opportunity to take it seriously.

      Cutting out added sugar (and now easing fruit back in, etc.) has made me appreciative the ecstasy of a grape, a slice of peach. Since my meals are so simple at home (which I enjoy), my family laughs when I go to a restaurant with them, everything tastes as though it were the gustatory equivalent of neon. Incredible.

      I still cannot handle music due to an auditory injury but hope to recover this some day.

      And since I mostly spend my time alone, when I do reunite with friends, there is such a communal happiness that I hardly need to say a word, I can just bask in their presence. Not having a television makes the videos I click onto on the Internet even more of a fascination.

      It is very Stoic (as in the philosophers) but true: an internal discipline is the only way to achieve true pleasure! Refraining can be in service of an even greater joy.

      And I think that all of this is included in Ramadan. It is an entire month of fasting and prayer (ideally); and the fast broken with friends and family (ideally) has us consciously appreciating their presence of the first and the celebration of the last. After deprivation, everything is far more vibrant and true.

      And it does help create empathy for those who haven’t enough to eat, regularly. True hunger and thirst (and a June Ramadan is enough to teach anyone in the Northern Hemisphere about true hunger and thirst) sustained over a month does more to create this sort of empathy than all of the articles in the world.

      To be deprived of certain things temporarily can pave the way for an even greater joy and appreciation. It was my insight, last night, that that which I have seen as extreme deprivation (and pain) has, in actuality, paved the way for a far more aligned life than I could have dreamed. I never would have chosen it.

      But, otherwise, I would still be living like an addict (a sugar addict but nonetheless); adrift, bored, ceaselessly looking for entertainment and for the outer world to give me a sense of satisfaction rather than internal experience which now feels deeper and true.

      Apologies for the endless post but these were my thoughts, and I had not related them to Ramadan at all but you provided the key, and I thank you!

      (For the record, I am not strictly observing Ramadan, though I have in the past out of respect for the countries in which I lived: this is more a general observation about my life. I truly admire everyone who fasts. كريم‎‎ رمضان )

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    Flying SquidJE Reich
    6/05/16 8:11pm

    We went to a Japanese/Panamanian fusion restaurant this evening and this was the dessert I was given. It made me confused and angry.

    No, I have no idea what it is. And after eating it, I still don’t. Or if I ate it right. Also, it wasn’t very good. It mostly tasted like vanilla pudding.

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      PoodletimeFlying Squid
      6/05/16 8:32pm

      Um, confused and angry would have been the least of it for me. Unless, it was free, I might have burned the restaurant down! I admire your self-control. That dish reminds me of one of my favorite Fran Leibowitz quotes from a section entitled ‘New Year’s Resolutions for Others’ (but about a different dessert) :

      “Raspberries, even out of season, are not a controlled substance. As a restauranteur, I will be more generous.”

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      PoodletimePoodletime
      6/05/16 8:33pm

      Also, it looks kind of like a color-field abstractionist representation of a man with a very tiny penis.

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    anyah8sbunniesJE Reich
    6/05/16 7:09pm

    Yaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy We love you JE!!!!

    Okay, So I haven’t caught SNS in the last month. Moving and regular stuff. I looked into school, I think I know the program I want now - Tourism Management

    Moving back into my parents has been an adjustment, this town still kind of sucks...very little has changed in the almost 20 years since I’ve lived here, my little nieces are amazing little people - my sister is a useless twat, and I’m seeing more and more about my mother is talking about with her.

    I finally met my brother’s brand new wife! They got married May 10th in Vegas.... they also hated Vegas lol

    Other than that life isn’t that interesting..... how about anyone else?

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      Paranoid Android (sometimes says dumb things)anyah8sbunnies
      6/05/16 7:11pm

      Vegas in May? It’s super hot and not worth going outside. Why did your brother hate Vegas? Did he just stick around the strip?

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      anyah8sbunniesParanoid Android (sometimes says dumb things)
      6/05/16 7:13pm

      Well, turns out my brother had health issues right before they went down and the drugs he was on prevented him hanging out in the sun.... so that was not good.

      Neither one gambles or likes crowds ....so in retrospect, Vegas - not the best choice lolol

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    miss.elaineousJE Reich
    6/05/16 7:37pm

    I’m resetting my sleep schedule because I keep falling asleep at 5 AM, so I’ve been awake for 36 hours and I’m about to have another double espresso shot so I can survive until 9:30 PM. I can hear colors and I keep wandering into walls. Help.

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      thecatwhisperermiss.elaineous
      6/05/16 7:54pm

      That sounds intense! I’ve never been through what you're dealing with so I don't know how to advise you. Are you hydrating? Are you able to rest at all?

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      Poodletimemiss.elaineous
      6/05/16 8:21pm

      You are a brave woman. If home treatment doesn’t work, you may be able to go to a lab and get your clock re-set there.

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