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    Tom Servo's mechanical heart, Flat Earth TrutherEllie Shechet
    5/25/16 11:54am

    Is there where I get to complain about how *after* I quit my job at Bank of America, I found out I was blocked from a promotion because, despite my boss, his boss, and several peers recommending me enthusiastically, the boss above them had an uncomfortable boner for me and said my attire was inappropriate?

    Is there where I get to say I spent a lot of money and careful consideration on my work clothes because I look young and was constantly stressed about appearing competent, professional and adult?

    Is there where I finally say how humiliating it was to hear from my superiors, through tears, that because one guy was uncomfortable about how i looked in my Banana Republic pant suits (yes) and Theory pencil skirts, he actually vocalized it to others during a conference call about my candidacy for a job?

    sorry y’all i’ve been holding that one in for a while.

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      BlessedAreTheHedas. Our fight is not over.Tom Servo's mechanical heart, Flat Earth Truther
      5/25/16 12:00pm

      What utter bullshit. I am so sorry that happened to you. Vent all you want.

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      goddessoftransitoryTom Servo's mechanical heart, Flat Earth Truther
      5/25/16 12:00pm

      This is where you do all that plus find a good lawyer for the civil suit that will bankrupt that asshole. And the company. Which I would like to avoid because one guy’s Sad Trombone Boner apparently rules all the fucking policy/promotion decisions so if you happen to mention its name we’re good.

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    bagoflettersEllie Shechet
    5/25/16 11:45am

    I wear dresses, leggings, and flats because they are easier to put on. A couple of months ago my coworker asked if I constantly wore dresses as a “religious thing” which I found odd because the dresses I wear aren’t very conservative. Her eyebrows reached a new level when I explained that I do it because it is literally putting on a full outfit in one go (if you aren’t wearing leggings) because your top and bottom are considered covered. Dresses have this weird connotation as being for people who hold their appearance to a higher standard but its honestly the fastest way to get dressed in the morning.

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      ImpotentPeteRagebagofletters
      5/25/16 11:48am

      THIS. I have never been what anyone would call well-dressed, but I either wear nice jeans & a nice top, or a dress, because skirts that squeeze your belly all day are for the birds (and who has time to match TWO THINGS). I buy my winter tights a size too big, and throw an over-sized sweater over a dress. It’s basically office appropriate pajamas. Those Olsen Twins are really onto something.

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      darleeeeeene aka deraaiilleeeeeenebagofletters
      5/25/16 11:49am

      OH MY GOD SAME!! I call it being “accidentally cute”

      but nowadays i wear maxi skirts from target that are pilled as all get out and just can’t care because it’s dumb that we have a dress code in the first place and i literally only see the same like 8 co-workers every day.

      I also hate it here.

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    stoprobbersEllie Shechet
    5/25/16 11:42am

    I think what constitutes “professional” is highly dependent upon the industry you’re in. Lawyers, bankers, finance folks, much traditional “business” workplaces — those are suits or half-suits (aka: suit pants/skirts and blouses for women, or suits pants and shirts but no jackets for men) or go home, period. For most of the more ‘creative’ industries — PR, marketing, design, advertising, nontraditional* journalism — ‘professional’ comes down to essentially casual chic; you don’t need to be in a suit and jeans and sneakers are totally acceptable, but you need to look put together and like you have your shit together, there’s just a lot of wiggle room.

    I work in traditional journalism (broadcast, digital wing) and I think there’s a ton of over lap with “nontraditional” journalism, which I would define as skewing towards professional blogging and digital-based reporting — sites like Gawker Media, Vice, Vox, BuzzFeed, etc. Our workplace runs the gamut from suits and very nice dresses/outfits for on-air talent (anchors are always in suits or dresses, reporters are always dressier but in a more practical way since they’re, you know, reporting). Producers are I think what most would define as normal casual chic/business casual - no one looks schlubby, but nice jeans with a nice top is fine. No one sees us. Our department heads/directors definitely dress nicer, though again a full traditional suit is not super common, certainly not every day. People sort of dress as fancy as they please.

    I think the idea is, if a tour group comes through (all the fucking time, gotdamn) or someone shows up for a meeting, we all look like we belong there are can be introduced without feeling embarrassed about what we’re wearing.

    And then on weekends we all wear our jammies because fuck you, it’s 6 a.m. on a Saturday and I’m one of five people in the entire building, no1curr.

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      K8TeeJstoprobbers
      5/25/16 11:46am

      I’m a print journalist aka jeans, t-shirt and if you’re lucky, I washed my hair. It’s hilarious when I got to press conferences and the TV reporters are all hot and sexy and then I show up and they’re like, who invited the homeless woman?

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      stoprobbersK8TeeJ
      5/25/16 11:47am

      LUCKY YOOOOOOOOU. I’m moving off weekend mornings soon (PRAISE HANDS) but I regularly wear the same outfit both days. Without showering in between. And the shirt is also my pajama shirt.

      Seriously, weekends don’t count. At all. EVER.

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    RuthSlayderGinsburgEllie Shechet
    5/25/16 11:36am

    “You need to dress properly - it’s about respect!”

    “I respect myself just fine without needing to wear makeup/high heels/Ann Taylor.”

    “I work from home in a grubby burlap sack and I’m just as professional as anyone else.”

    “High heels are tools of the patriarchy”

    “High heels are my choice and also fuck you I’ll stab you with my stiletto.”

    There I think that about covers it.

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      Rihanna is the one trueRuthSlayderGinsburg
      5/25/16 11:38am

      I am 27 and have basically given up on heels cuz fuckkkk that noise.

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      Marzipan in your Pie PlateRuthSlayderGinsburg
      5/25/16 11:40am

      I wore 4-inch heels all the time when I worked retail. Now that I’m sitting in an office all day, I can NOT handle them. 2-inch wedge is about as far as I can go.

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    Anna MerlanEllie Shechet
    5/25/16 12:09pm

    Ellie is this your gentle way of telling me to stop sitting at my desk in the nude with a beach towel padding my chair or what

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      Mike Pipper Super GIF EnthusiastAnna Merlan
      5/25/16 12:25pm

      Well, today IS Towel Day.

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      InfinityAeroAnna Merlan
      5/25/16 12:34pm

      It would be cruel to ask you to get rid of the beach towel... nothing worse than sweaty skin against unwashable leather...

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    veronica lodge superfanEllie Shechet
    5/25/16 11:45am

    i’m a teacher, so dress code can be kind of confusing. the expectation is “business/business casual”, but people definitely interpret that to their liking. my typical work clothes are skinny cut khakis, black skinny jeans that i pretend are slacks, literally any shirt in my closet that isn’t a tank/crop or low-cut (i used to wear long sleeves all the time to cover my tattoo, but they never fixed the a/c in my room so now i don’t really care), and sometimes midi skirts. in the winter i would wear knee-length skirts and dresses with tights. i can wear whatever shoes i want, besides sandals, but since i’m on my feet all day i stick to tennis shoes (cute ones, like new balances), flatforms if i really want height, and sometimes heeled booties (but i usually regret it later).

    basically, as comfortable as possible, while still looking ~cute~. the kids are so good at picking up on your mood, so i try to put a little effort in because it gets me in the right mindset. there are teachers here who literally wear sweatpants, and the kids perceive them as being apathetic. not to brag, but the girls have told me i’m the best-dressed white teacher (sunglasses emoji).

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      Marzipan in your Pie Plateveronica lodge superfan
      5/25/16 12:10pm

      the best-dressed white teacher

      The qualifier made me giggle. “You dress really nice, Ms. Superfan... for a white lady.”

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      veronica lodge superfanMarzipan in your Pie Plate
      5/25/16 12:27pm

      lol yeah. i am one of a handful of white teachers at a school that is 75% black and 25% hispanic. the kids get a kick out of making fun of me, but i don’t really mind.

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    EdnasEdiblesEllie Shechet
    5/25/16 11:35am

    I work on the same floor as the President of the company so I tend to dress up a bit more because she’s always walking about and there are always guests and big meetings. But honestly I kind of like having “work clothes” and “fun clothes” - putting on a more professional outfit and heels helps me feel more capable and grown-up. Like a costume almost. “This is my grown-up costume. I am ready to adult now.”

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      Ms.ChanandlerBongEdnasEdibles
      5/25/16 11:45am

      I hear ya. I am a CPA and before I dressed accordingly because I saw clients all the time. Now I’m in industry and while I hardly ever see anybody besides my co-workers, and the atmosphere is more relaxed, I still can’t bring myself to wear things like sleeveless shirts or sandals.

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      xaviereEdnasEdibles
      5/25/16 12:03pm

      Me too. As dorky as it may sound, putting on nicer clothes to go to work gets me in a good headspace for the day—but maybe that’s because I am all about the sweatpants when I’m not out and about (a look an ex-boyfriend charmingly referred to as “dirt squirrel”).

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    NomNom83Ellie Shechet
    5/25/16 11:50am

    I work with several hundred people and our organization actually has no dress code. We’ve got everything from the suit and ties every day to blue hair and... um... odd sartorial clashes choices. And ain’t nobody gonna say shit to the world-reknown plasma physicist about his hair. Because if he doesn’t want to cut it or wash it or leave it a natural color, he’ll leave for someplace where he doesn’t have to. It’s a neat place to work.

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      kiisseliNomNom83
      5/25/16 12:00pm

      Scientific workplaces are really, really genuinely weird in this respect. I kind of love it.

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      NomNom83kiisseli
      5/25/16 12:44pm

      Yup! My department is “highly” encouraged to keep it normal office casual/professional (jeans on Fridays kind of place) but if you go around to other offices/buildings, you’ll see it all. Like, I saw a guy in a polo and pajama pants getting lunch one day.

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    Captain Janeway has no time for your bullshitEllie Shechet
    5/25/16 11:39am

    I’m a mid-level manager/administrator at a large public university. I wear dark jeans, tops that come from Loft most of the time, and flats. I’ll throw on a cardigan or blazer if I have to go to a meeting. Other than the actual executive administration here, I’ve never seen anyone really “dressed up”.

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      veronica lodge superfanCaptain Janeway has no time for your bullshit
      5/25/16 11:48am

      loft is just the best for work clothes. and they have crazy online sales sometimes! i got two beautiful short-sleeve blouses for $30 total a few weeks ago.

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      mrs. jnormanCaptain Janeway has no time for your bullshit
      5/25/16 11:48am

      You’re like my twin! I work in development, but am not front facing so I live in black skinny jeans tops from Loft/Banana Republic, cardigans and flat ankle boots. I recently discovered that nice black yoga pants can also double as work clothes. I’m comfortable all day and can get more work done!

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    fortheloveofbeetsEllie Shechet
    5/25/16 12:15pm

    I started an editorial assistant job at Glamour Magazine in fussy outfits and statement necklaces and high heels that sprained my ankle twice; two years later, my Birkenstocks and jeans heavily signaled a swiftly loosening commitment to the world of women’s magazines, and to the idea that a woman should stand on her tippy toes to be taken seriously.

    I really feel this. My work wardrobe immediately post-college involved button-down shirts, pencil skirts, and khakis, and I always felt uncomfortable in outfits like that. The older I get, the more my “work” wardrobe and my “life” wardrobe have grown together into a single wardrobe with just a few select things (high-waisted acid-washed jean shorts, a suede blazer) that only fall into one category.

    This is due to a combination of factors: I’m more comfortable with who I am, I think more about the practical considerations of clothes before I buy them (can I launder it instead of dry-cleaning? can I sit down in it comfortably? can I ride a bike in it?), I can actually afford more well-made and comfortable clothes now, I have a better sense of what flatters my body, I’m a hell of a lot more secure and confident in my career.

    I’m also extremely lucky to be a graphic designer at an extremely informal company, which means that I was in birkenstocks, shorts, and a white t-shirt yesterday, and I got compliments from my coworkers.

    There’s one area of workwear etiquette that I’m still a little frustrated with, though, and it’s the sexiness issue. I’m a tall woman with boobs that are on the big side, wide hips, and a small waist. It is REALLY hard to find clothes that fit me without either making me look sloppy and dumpy, or too sexy. I try on so many things that would be perfectly appropriate on someone with less pronounced curves, but that read “sexy” on me. It is a singularly horrible feeling to be in an important meeting, and realize that the totally perfect work-appropriate dress you’re wearing is actually just a little too fitted, and noticing the really small, subtle ways that people talk to you differently. When people usually talk to you like you’re smart and competent, you notice when they talk to you like you’re a dumb bimbo. And it’s frustrating that it can happen when the cut of a garment is just a fraction of an inch too short, or just slightly too nipped in at the waist.

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      Morewinepleasefortheloveofbeets
      5/25/16 12:55pm

      I’m about to start work at a large engineering firm as a UX designer, and I’m so conflicted about if I can dress like a stereotypical designer or if I need to fall in with the other business/engineering types. When I interviewed I ONLY met with men too, which makes it hard to gauge what the women in my department (are there women? God I hope so) wear to work.

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      fortheloveofbeetsMorewineplease
      5/25/16 1:20pm

      Yeah, I think it always takes some investigating to figure out what’s appropriate for any given office. I think most people (myself included) err on the conservative side for at least the first week or two while they gauge what everyone else is wearing. If you’re really clueless about what’s appropriate, and it’s definitely not a business-y kind of environment, I think you can’t really go wrong with, like, black flats, plain-looking pants, a plain-looking shirt, and a blazer. You can always just lose the blazer if everyone else is in jorts and ratty t-shirts.

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