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    SipowitzEllie Shechet
    5/24/16 11:32am

    It’s all fun and games until every social construct breaks down and someone is murdered for the conch.

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      GELLA - LLAPSipowitz
      5/24/16 11:38am

      you should become next Bachelor

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      makingfetchhappenSipowitz
      5/24/16 11:40am

      This is the best comment ever.

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    wafflesfriendsworkEllie Shechet
    5/24/16 11:36am

    GOD they’re terrible. I don’t know half of their names (I won’t for a while) but I really really like Ali—super cute, plays piano, very sweet.

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      elainerisleywafflesfriendswork
      5/24/16 11:46am

      not to mention the things they said. “she’s like a unicorn, hot AND not crazy.” and also i noticed a few of them pulled the “you’re not like other girls” line. i hate that shit.

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      wafflesfriendsworkelainerisley
      5/24/16 11:48am

      ugh I hate that shit so much. real douchebag alert if anyone says something like that.

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    HaHaYouFoolEllie Shechet
    5/24/16 11:36am

    There is NOTHING worse than being the only/one of few sober person(s) in a room of drunken idiots. Nothing.

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      SipowitzHaHaYouFool
      5/24/16 11:43am

      Sobriety is for quitters.

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      seatonsatinHaHaYouFool
      5/24/16 12:59pm

      Drunk men are repulsive and scary.

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    paultoesEllie Shechet
    5/24/16 11:34am
    “Bachelor superfan” named James S. who appears to have botoxed his entire face.

    Oh my.

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      Burner613paultoes
      5/24/16 11:38am

      He's like Ken from the Toy Story movies.

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      artless.dodgerpaultoes
      5/24/16 11:45am

      Man, the University of Tokyo is really upping their robotics game. He looks almost human.

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    artless.dodgerEllie Shechet
    5/24/16 11:47am

    Evan’s deal-breakers are apparently girls with chipped nail polish and girls with serious food allergies.

    You seem nice, Evan.

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      paultoesartless.dodger
      5/24/16 11:54am

      And “girls who talk too much.”

      He probably does this a lot:

      GIF
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      Lady Hazel of Wassernameartless.dodger
      5/24/16 11:57am

      He also hates narcissists and clingers which I suspect is because he is both a narcissist and a clinger.

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    Okscram3Ellie Shechet
    5/24/16 11:34am

    I went to Evan’s Bio, and it’s worth it! One of his dealbreakers is “chipped nail polish”. I always knew the contestants were deeply broken sociopaths, but I fully expect a long shot of this man calmly sharpening a knife before the season’s end.

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      KK4BamaOkscram3
      5/24/16 11:37am

      Chipped nail polish is an actual pet peeve of my boyfriends. I just ignore him if he says anything about it.

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      Marx and SparksKK4Bama
      5/24/16 12:25pm

      I would tell him he’s welcome to give me a daily manicure, otherwise he is welcome to shut his damn mouth.

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    Pumpkin Andy is OrangeEllie Shechet
    5/24/16 11:34am

    I usually skip week one of any new season, because all these people getting out of limos and trying desperately to be different and get noticed seems gimmicky and weird (“I’m not wearing anything under my kilt! “) (“Here, squeeze my blue balls!“). It's kind of gross.

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      Charlotte29 aka Rob KPumpkin Andy is Orange
      5/24/16 11:41am

      And it takes LITERALLY (not literally) A MILLION YEARS. You watch hordes of people get out of limos and think “Surely this is it, right?” But there are ALWAYS more.

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      SodburgerPumpkin Andy is Orange
      5/24/16 12:31pm

      I ONLY like the first few episodes because they’re so over the top cheesy. Once it starts getting “serious” with a few guys, I’m out.

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    irritablevowelEllie Shechet
    5/24/16 11:56am

    *Possible spoiler*

    It should be obvious that Jordan will be around for a while. Reality Steve laid out some pretty scary info about Jordan in the last week, though, that makes me really worried for Jojo and how this season will play out on social media. Let’s just say that Jordan has a lot of well-connected people who do not like him at all. Jojo and Jordan were also communicating before the show started, so I think that might come back to bite her, too. I really hope this doesn’t completely blow up in Jojo’s face!

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      LibrarySchoolDropoutirritablevowel
      5/24/16 1:15pm

      I have a theory that the producers knew JoJo and Jordan were talking before the season started. The drunken idiots serve both to punish JoJo and entertain the audience in what would have otherwise been an extremely boring season since it’s obvious who she is going to pick.

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      Jigglyballirritablevowel
      5/24/16 3:31pm

      Oh, Jordan. He quarterbacked my alma mater in college, and judging from his instagram, seems to really want the fame his brother has. I think he and the producers have a deal to keep him around for a while, maybe even trade on his connections to get him to the end of the season.

      Also, Jordan, making a practice squad for a month doesn’t make you a former NFL quarterback. I hate to hate on a fellow Commodore, but come on man, you were not really an NFL quarterback.

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    fortheloveofbroadwayEllie Shechet
    5/24/16 12:12pm

    I mean, can anyone really compete with Aaron Rodgers’ brother? If (when) she picks him she gets to go on double dates with Olivia Munn! Also, Jojo had some mumbles of fame-hunger last season (note her hot brother has also been on dating shows) so being NFL adjacent, especially of Aaron Rodgers’ caliber, would absolutely make her 100,000x more famous than the rest of these schmos combined.

    Get it Aaron Rodgers brother, the game is yours to lose.

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      Betty shooting birdsfortheloveofbroadway
      5/24/16 12:40pm

      I wonder if he really wants to win though.

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      fortheloveofbroadwayBetty shooting birds
      5/24/16 12:45pm

      That’s fair, he could be doing it to be the next Bachelor too - In the early days of the show a former NFL Player and Aaron Rodgers brother would have been enough but I can’t remember the last Bachelor/Bachelorette who wasn’t a contestant the season prior.

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    Bokbunzajoo1Ellie Shechet
    5/24/16 11:25am

    Oh my gawd! Now begins my other favorite contest: which of these awful men will end up on bachelor in paradise??

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      KK4BamaBokbunzajoo1
      5/24/16 11:34am

      Daniel the Canadian for sure. Possibly Chad if he doesn’t get banned from the house indefinitely.

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      Bokbunzajoo1KK4Bama
      5/24/16 11:35am

      Getting banned from the bachelorette house doesn’t necessarily mean they won’t invite him to “paradise” lol

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