Kinja reply list

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hippodippyStassa Edwards
5/20/16 5:51pm
Victim blaming is 101% part of “the ideals” the Church follows.

As a young Mormon woman in the late 90's, I was literally taught that it was better to die then lose my “honor”. I know plenty of exMormon women who have similar stories. I've heard from plenty of Mormons I still talk to that the woman at the heart of the case is completely and totally to blame for her assault and her treatment by BYU.
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  KittyPesahippodippy
  5/20/16 6:19pm
  One of my girlfriends was raised in the church and got into an abusive relationship in high school. She tried and failed several times to get out of the relationship and eventually worked up the courage to ask her parents for help. Upon learning she had had sex with her boyfriend - and knowing he was abusive - her father told her he hoped she was raped rather than had sex willingly.
  
  Class A parenting, right there.
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  Brene BrawnKittyPesa
  5/20/16 6:23pm
  Coming from a church that actively teaches that it’s better for your child to die than to leave the church, his response seems pretty on point for the ideals they promote.
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Octopit didn't choose the burrito life, the burrito life chose octopit.Stassa Edwards
5/20/16 5:48pm
I don’t believe anything they say.
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  Brene BrawnOctopit didn't choose the burrito life, the burrito life chose octopit.
  5/20/16 6:20pm
  You shouldn’t. Their little bit about how this isn’t representative of the church or its leaders is completely false. When I wrote Henry B. Eyring about how one of my local leaders advised my husband to rape me, and Eyring responded (by telling my stake president to advise me to “just go to the temple more,”), a month later that same rape-loving-leader was promoted to temple president. Not representative my ass.
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  Oil of OkayBrene Brawn
  5/20/16 11:25pm
  I love you so much and am so sorry you had to deal with such crap. It’s like LDS is the world’s biggest football team. When I was growing up, we moved every year and every single ward we lived in had a sexual abuse scandal. It’s defs systemic.
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Rando CalrissianStassa Edwards
5/20/16 5:48pm
Why do I think this is a diversion and there will be no real change at all?

Oh! Here’s why:

Media have published deeply personal stories of victims of sexual assault who feel they have been treated poorly when reporting their assault. They are painful to read, but we do not believe they represent the ideals BYU or Church leaders follow when responding to victims.
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  deerlady83Rando Calrissian
  5/20/16 5:53pm
  I read that sentence and I’m shaking my head. They’re denying those women’s experiences and trying to sweep them under the rug.
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  Malciredeerlady83
  5/20/16 9:24pm
  I read it more as saying that the women's stories were outliers as opposed to denying that they happened. Not that that gives more of a reason to trust the church.
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imaginaryfriendStassa Edwards
5/20/16 6:35pm
Dear Mormon women,

I’ve heard stories about how you get cutoff from family and friends when you leave the LDS church. Well, if you all walk out at once, you’ll have a ready-made support group. Seriously, DTMFsA

nothing to fear but fear itself,

imaginary friend.
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  Furtfartimaginaryfriend
  5/21/16 4:07am
  I’ve heard of that, but what I’ve seen much more of is that a family just won’t talk about how so-and-so left the Church at family gatherings and such. Relations are strained but still exist. My husband is a good example of someone who left the Church but still enjoys great relationships with his family, although his family are not Utah Mormons (big difference). I think the all-out banishment happens more often when a child comes out as LGBTQ, but I think that’s changing more, too. Of course, there will always be those Mormons who are as staunchly conservative as possible, so I’m the stories you’ve heard are not exaggerated.
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giddyponyStassa Edwards
5/20/16 8:25pm
Well, I’d HOPE that what happened was against the ideals of the Mormon church. But just as pedophilia is against the ideals of Mormonism, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen, and it also doesn’t mean that it is appropriately handled when it does.
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FurtfartStassa Edwards
5/21/16 4:03am
The LDS Church would throw The Salt Lake Tribune under the bus completely. They’ve wished they could shut down one of the few critical voices in the state for a long, long time. The have a joint operating agreement with the Deseret News that is just an attempt at slowly bleeding the Trib dry (although they may be able to escape it soon because a member of the somewhat more moderate Huntsman family—yes, that Huntsman family—is purchasing the paper with the Church’s blessing). The difference in headlines, language, and general coverage of the Church in the two papers is stark and unsettling. Utah NEEDS the Trib.

I’ve grown up in Utah, but not in the Church, so while I have a lot of experience in the culture here, I’m constantly shocked by some of the more intimate teachings in the Church. The honor code at BYU is reflective of the views of many staunch believers, which is truly unfortunate. Even if these survivors gain better support from BYU due to the pressure they’re under, I doubt the same support could be expected from some of their families and friends, sadly.
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Oil of OkayStassa Edwards
5/20/16 11:11pm
When I was LDS in AZ & UT, sexual assault was just par for the course. It was officially looked down upon, but so prevelent as to be mundane.
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GoodGoshJoshStassa Edwards
5/20/16 5:46pm
They say “Gotcha journalism” and I hear “Waaaah waaaah” since their double standards are being called out.
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