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    Sid and FinancySam Biddle
    5/19/16 3:33pm

    500 Days of Kristin died for your sins, influencers.

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      The Ghost of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ AKA BabyStepsSid and Financy
      5/19/16 3:38pm

      Wait just a minute! It’s gone? I didn’t even notice.

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      ninjaginSid and Financy
      5/19/16 3:43pm

      Long live the 500 days. Now we have the Wake Up, so things are better.

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    LindaSam Biddle
    5/19/16 3:37pm

    Brands shouldn’t expect free or cheap work from influencers.

    Brands shouldn’t expect anyone with a triple digit IQ to buy shit that twenty-somethings hawk on Instagram and Vine.

    They needed someone to tell them this?

    Here’s what influences me: Can I afford it, does it do what it says it will, do I want it.

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      Sentient Portrait of Leonid BrezhnevLinda
      5/19/16 3:39pm

      I think the logic is that the people who like Vine stars are pre-teens, who barely have two braincells to rub together as it is.

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      Demon!Linda
      5/19/16 3:41pm

      But they buy shit at amazing rates!

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    Wayward ApologySam Biddle
    5/19/16 3:42pm

    As a leading Gawker committing influencer I just want to let any interested brands know that I am in fact for sale and cheaper than you might expect.

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      XrdsAlumWayward Apology
      5/19/16 3:51pm

      Well then look at me. I’m even cheaper and even more for sale!

      [this has been Chapter 3463 in Race to the Bottom Economics 101: Influencer Edition]

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      Armageddon T. ThunderbirdWayward Apology
      5/19/16 3:52pm

      Dear brands,

      I’m cheaper than this nobody. Call me.

      Love,

      ATT

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    Myrna MinkoffSam Biddle
    5/19/16 3:37pm

    The bottom line is, if you “work” as an influencer and TMobile gets enough people to sign up for their service due to your amazing Instagram selfies, TMobile WILL pay for that. The key phrase there is “enough people.”

    If you can’t quantify the business you bring in, or you just *don’t* bring in any business for your clients, don’t expect the clients to keep paying for your social media “work”.

    Welcome to the adult world, kiddos! This is how it goes.

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      HeroInGrayXXIMyrna Minkoff
      5/19/16 3:41pm

      This approached Mansplaining levels of contempt.

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      NoButWait Hates Your GoT Fan TheoriesMyrna Minkoff
      5/19/16 3:58pm

      I wonder if they can even track this. Instagram doesn’t actually allow you to post links and even your profile needs to have a website associated with you, so I don’t think anyone can tell with confidence whether an Instagram post actually led to a sale. And the solid educated guess would be that such “influence” leads to very little sales, if any. Even solidly trackable modes of advertising on social media, such as on Facebook, are vastly inflated.

      I think it’s kinda dumb to pay some nobody to shill a product because they can make six second videos that appeal to middle schoolers, but that’s just me. But I work in online marketing so what do I know?

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    ╰(　´◔　ω　◔ `)╯< Woke and BokeSam Biddle
    5/19/16 3:42pm

    Internet celebrities are not real celebrities.

    The real celebrities are us commenters, who put in the hard work of propping up sites such as this. Where are my fat envelopes filled with cash, and my footlong joints brimming with Cali Kush? Where, too, are my well-deserved slobbery blowjobs and faceful of jiggling bosoms and asscheeks?

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      Sid and Financy╰(　´◔　ω　◔ `)╯< Woke and Boke
      5/19/16 3:50pm

      I miss the starred commenter system, too.

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      OMG!PONIES!Sid and Financy
      5/19/16 4:05pm

      You can say that again.

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    XrdsAlumSam Biddle
    5/19/16 3:43pm

    Counterpoint:

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      Sentient Portrait of Leonid BrezhnevXrdsAlum
      5/19/16 3:49pm

      That poor child has progeria, don’t make fun!

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      Captain IntensoXrdsAlum
      5/19/16 3:53pm
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    CAPTAINOHSam Biddle
    5/19/16 3:42pm

    I've always wondered how much the Kardashians and the like get paid to hawk workout shakes/tea/teeth whiteners/waist destroyers.

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      SplatworthyCAPTAINOH
      5/19/16 3:55pm

      The lovely Kara Brown at Jez did a write up on it.

      http://jezebel.com/heres-how-much…

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      CAPTAINOHSplatworthy
      5/19/16 4:32pm

      Holy shit.

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    Rom RombertsSam Biddle
    5/19/16 3:49pm

    When I’m flamin’ the next hot blog on my Laptop powered by Intel, I like to keep my skin quite cold underneath several layers of Hanes X-Temp Comfortwear. Influencer? Maybe. But you’re going to have to call the cops to get my retro Nikes off of these stairs, fam. #xtemp #comfortableinmyhanes #hanes #men #stairboys #btru2urself

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      ╰(　´◔　ω　◔ `)╯< Woke and BokeRom Romberts
      5/19/16 4:04pm

      #StartedFromTheBottomAndI’mStillHere

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      Puddingandthemissus╰(　´◔　ω　◔ `)╯< Woke and Boke
      5/19/16 8:23pm

      I know when that hotline bling, it's a bill collector. Please don't answer

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    NoOnesPostSam Biddle
    5/19/16 4:00pm

    Gah, this article is so annoying that I’m going to go take a coffee break and forget it.

    When I go on a coffee break, I always make sure I’m going to a Antelope Coffee. Antelope Coffee, a great place to take a break from life’s annoyances.

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      Mr.Spaghetti! The Gentildouche YearsNoOnesPost
      5/19/16 6:11pm

      I got a little Truman Show vibe from that one!

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    Burt Reynolds JrSam Biddle
    5/19/16 3:38pm

    Dear Rolling Rock,

    I have brought a 30 rack of your product to so many housewarming parties and made older adults bong your beer. Please consider sending me more cases of beer. I wont just take pictures of it, I will actually force others to drink your product.

    Sincerely,

    Burt

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      SplatworthyBurt Reynolds Jr
      5/19/16 3:58pm

      Could you give me a quick run down of the provenance of your handle?

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      CorbettoSplatworthy
      5/19/16 4:50pm

      Provenance? What is this, Antiques Roadshow? Dumb that shit, dude. :D

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