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    Dave Brendan O'Connor
    5/09/16 9:49am

    His next title: The Gangster of Love. You may also call him “Maurice”.

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      MikeywinDave
      5/09/16 9:53am

      You deserve so much more for this comment, more than just the single star I can give.

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      wonderfulpistachiosDave
      5/09/16 10:08am

      what is this ‘Pompatus’ of which he speaks?

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    GeorgeGeoffersonLivesBrendan O'Connor
    5/09/16 9:55am

    bestowed a new title upon Kim Jong Un: “Party chairman.”

    Whoa, whoa. Now let’s not get ahead of ourselves, here.

    When I asked what in my reports was “not beautiful,” the N. Korean minders said I should “ask myself.”

    So, North Korea is led by an eight-year-old? Makes sense.

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      Sluicer's ghostGeorgeGeoffersonLives
      5/09/16 10:11am

      Does "Party Chairman" mean he is the guy who is planning the keggers?

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      A_Copy_EditorGeorgeGeoffersonLives
      5/09/16 11:01am

      After he said I should ask myself, my minder then took my hands and began smacking my face with them. “Stop hitting yourself,” my minder told me repeatedly, as I struggled in vain to free my wrists from his grip.

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    Ed SpockBrendan O'Connor
    5/09/16 10:11am
    These were Kim Jong Il’s titles.



    Superior Person
    Dear Leader
    Respected Leader
    Wise Leader
    Brilliant Leader
    Unique Leader
    Dear Leader, who is a perfect incarnation of the appearance that a leader should have
    Commander-in-Chief
    Great Leader
    Father of the People
    Sun of the Communist Future
    Shining Star of Paektu Mountain
    Guiding Sun Ray
    Leader of the Revolutionary Armed Forces
    Guarantee of the Fatherland’s Unification
    Symbol of the Fatherland’s Unification
    Fate of the Nation
    Beloved Father
    Leader of the Party, the country, and the Army
    Leader
    General
    Great Leader of our Party and of our Nation
    Great General
    Beloved and Respected General
    Great Leader
    Beloved and Respected Leader
    Ever-Victorious, Iron-Willed Commander
    Sun of Socialism
    Sun of the Nation
    The Great Sun of Life
    Great Sun of The Nation
    Father of the Nation
    World Leader of The 21st Century
    Peerless Leader
    Bright Sun of the 21st Century
    Great Sun of the 21st Century
    Leader of the 21st Century
    Amazing Politician
    Great Man, Who Descended From Heaven
    Glorious General, Who Descended From Heaven
    Supreme Leader of the Nation
    Bright Sun of Juche
    Leader of the Party and the People
    Great Marshal
    Invincible and Triumphant General
    Dear Father
    Guiding Star of the 21st Century
    Great Man, Who Is a Man of Deeds
    Great Defender
    Savior
    Mastermind of the Revolution
    Highest Incarnation of the Revolutionary Comradeship
    His Excellency
    Eternal General Secretary of the Party
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      yousayclamato, joeEd Spock
      5/09/16 10:16am

      One can imagine President Trump unironically bestowing himself with a similar set of titles.

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      Ed Spockyousayclamato, joe
      5/09/16 10:18am

      But it would be the classiest title a president has ever bestowed upon himself.

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    ExtraExtraBrendan O'Connor
    5/09/16 9:56am

    Anyone who goes to North Korea has to be insane. I wouldn't go no matter what. The possibilities of never leaving are far too high.

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      Sluicer's ghostExtraExtra
      5/09/16 10:12am

      True.

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      Armageddon T. ThunderbirdExtraExtra
      5/09/16 10:15am

      The possibilities of never leaving are far too high.

      I feel the same way about Ann Arbor.

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    Quasar FunkBrendan O'Connor
    5/09/16 9:52am

    This is good news. I, too, was once known as the “party chairman” when I was in college. If he follows my path, he’ll be quitting his job and sleeping behind bars in no time.

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      Quint the GreyerBrendan O'Connor
      5/09/16 10:21am

      I would have bet money he was going to go with Father of Dragons.

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        GeorgeGeoffersonLivesBrendan O'Connor
        5/09/16 9:49am

        Expelled?! Lucky devils.

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          jlpubarchBrendan O'Connor
          5/09/16 2:06pm

          So basically they were accused of not writing their articles in “North Korea-ese” which goes something like this:

          “The all-powerful and magnificent master of all that exists on the Korean Peninsula, his excellency and most smartest and most likely to score with all the women, Kim Jong Un, was bestowed with the most honorable title of Party Chairman today. All of the world’s dignified heads of State expressed their sincere most congratulations to our beloved dear leader for this most excellent of honors. All except the traitorous dogs and most smelliest of peoples on Earth, the Americans and South Koreans. Neener-neener.”

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            Ed SpockBrendan O'Connor
            5/09/16 10:17am

            EXPELLED!?!?!?! Lucky Fucking Bastards.

            Sincerely,

            Otto Warmbier

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              Sluicer's ghostBrendan O'Connor
              5/09/16 10:08am

              No more dog meat for them!

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