Kinja reply list

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Mental IcebergGabrielle Bluestone
5/03/16 4:08pm
Yeah. Vietnam sure was scary for Trump.

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  KaidogMental Iceberg
  5/03/16 4:18pm
  I was rather hoping that he was disqualified because of syphilis, but no luck.
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  XrdsAlumMental Iceberg
  5/03/16 4:52pm
  Remember, the fight against VD in gold digging floozies was his own personal Vietnam. In a way, we all have our own personal Vietnams. For many men of Drumpf’s age, their own personal Vietnams were the actual nation of North Vietnam that wanted to kill them (h/t “Three Amigos”).
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Hip Brooklyn StereotypeGabrielle Bluestone
5/03/16 4:04pm
But the entire point of his comment was to insist that he never caught an STD, in part because he had his personal physician check his dates beforehand.
And you guys all probably thought romance was dead.
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  Salvatore CorasanitiHip Brooklyn Stereotype
  5/03/16 4:05pm
  After this article, I’m sure of it.
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  Albert KuntekoHip Brooklyn Stereotype
  5/03/16 4:14pm
  Romance is dead. I have a virgin test performed on all my potential dates, and so far every single one of them has failed.
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Dave Gabrielle Bluestone
5/03/16 4:09pm
“But I ever DID have it, it would beautiful, gorgeous VD, I mean we are talking the BEST VD folks, I would be winning at VD”.
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  Jujymonkey3Dave
  5/03/16 4:11pm
  “I would have the reddest, angriest looking, most copiously oozing blisters!”
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  aliceblueDave
  5/03/16 4:19pm
  It wouldn’t be VD anymore. He buy the rights and change the name to TD.
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Sorely VexedGabrielle Bluestone
5/03/16 4:22pm
Donald really has a problem with ladyparts, doesn’t he? He was nearly physically sick at the thought of Hillary using the bathroom; revolted that Megyn Kelly had “blood coming out of her whatever;” and he had all his prospective bedmates prescreened for the clap.
He really must think that women are all just dirty dirty harlots, mustn’t he? Freud (the old fraud) would have had a field-day with this guy.
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  PimpleOnTrump'sBurntOrangeTaintSorely Vexed
  5/03/16 4:52pm
  I suspect he has an elaborate setup with help from his personal assistant. When he “mounts” his lady of the night, she probably covers her eyes or asks to be blindfolded (for kink, WINK WINK) then he pulls out his stubby fingerling potato like penis and just jumps blindly into space, nowhere really near his wife/mistress. His assistant quickly gives him a reacharound while the woman tries not to grimace as she tunes it out. He finishes, then he throws a wad of Trump Hotel vouchers on the bed and leaves, happy he didn’t have to actually do the deed.
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  MyTVNeverLiesSorely Vexed
  5/03/16 5:03pm
  I’m sure Ted and Heidi feel the same way, per The Bible:
  And if a woman have an issue, and her issue in her flesh be blood, she shall be put apart seven days: and whosoever toucheth her shall be unclean until the even. And every thing that she lieth upon in her separation shall be unclean: every thing also that she sitteth upon shall be unclean. And whosoever toucheth her bed shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even. And whosoever toucheth any thing that she sat upon shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even. And if it be on her bed, or on any thing whereon she sitteth, when he toucheth it, he shall be unclean until the even. And if any man lie with her at all, and her flowers be upon him, he shall be unclean seven days; and all the bed whereon he lieth shall be unclean. And if a woman have an issue of her blood many days out of the time of her separation, or if it run beyond the time of her separation; all the days of the issue of her uncleanness shall be as the days of her separation: she shall be unclean. Every bed whereon she lieth all the days of her issue shall be unto her as the bed of her separation: and whatsoever she sitteth upon shall be unclean, as the uncleanness of her separation. And whosoever toucheth those things shall be unclean, and shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even. But if she be cleansed of her issue, then she shall number to herself seven days, and after that she shall be clean. And on the eighth day she shall take unto her two turtles, or two young pigeons, and bring them unto the priest, to the door of the tabernacle of the congregation. And the priest shall offer the one for a sin offering, and the other for a burnt offering; and the priest shall make an atonement for her before the LORD for the issue of her uncleanness. Leviticus 15:19-30
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RobertMadooGabrielle Bluestone
5/03/16 4:05pm
Crude, but a joke I liked from the roast of Trump a few years back:
You got Melania a huge, 12-carat diamond engagement ring. You should not have gotten her a diamond. Now she knows what hard is supposed to feel like.
—Whitney Cummings
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FreakyHijiki Esq.Gabrielle Bluestone
5/03/16 5:09pm
SUBLIME IRONY ALERT!

Legally speaking, there’s two broad categories of defamatory statement “per se”and “per quod.” “Per se” defamation means that all a Plaintiff has to do to win is prove that the defendant made the statement to at least one other person. No need to proof damages or even that the statement was perceived as defamatory. It’s rare, because there are only 4 statements that are damaging enough to suffice. One of which being....wait for it...is to *accuse someone of having a “loathsome” (read: venereal) disease.*

TL;DR- The final act of this comic opera could be the “genius legal mind/Christian soldier” Ted Cruz losing/settling a defamation lawsuit to Donald Fucking Trump.

LOLISSIMO.
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  saltyladyv4FreakyHijiki Esq.
  5/03/16 5:52pm
  Yea but don’t you have to prove malice if it’s a public figure? I can’t remember for sure but it rings a bell. I thought per se just gets you out of proving damages. Although I suppose Ted Cruz is malice personified.
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  FreakyHijiki Esq.saltyladyv4
  5/03/16 6:24pm
  I don’t remember the malice standard for a public figure on an issue of public concern, but I just assumed that blurting out something on live radio that could be refuted in 2 hours would EASILY meet the NY Times v. Sullivan standard of Actual Malice.
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curiousGabrielle Bluestone
5/03/16 4:16pm
Ladies and gentlemen... American politics 2016.

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  EvenBaggierTrousers4curious
  5/03/16 4:46pm
  Yeah it is pretty fucked isn’t it....he’s a serial killer, his dad killed JFK, he’s got VD.... and people just laughing their way to the end. What a glorious time we live in.
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  Murry Changcurious
  5/03/16 4:46pm
  Fuck yea!
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KaidogGabrielle Bluestone
5/03/16 4:13pm
I hope these two continue their destructive sniping right to the convention because this is absolutely what today’s Republican Party deserves.
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Hollow_LogGabrielle Bluestone
5/03/16 4:28pm
“Look, all of these broads are walking around with poisonous gaping vaginas. Pussy’s great, right? Aside from Ted Cruz, who doesn’t love pussy? Even Hillary eats more pussy than cervical cancer. But we have to be diligent. So we’re gonna make all the broads have pap smears and their blood drawn and we’re going to make them pay for it.”
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Mr.Spaghetti! The Gentildouche YearsGabrielle Bluestone
5/03/16 4:37pm
Look, Ted Cruz is a complicated guy. Like most of us, he has many different sides to his personality. Can he be a little evil? Sure...

“Listen, politics is a dirty game. And I know how to play it.”

“But evil is only half the story. I have a deeply religious side. I love Jesus..so much.”

“Which doesn’t mean that I don’t know how to rock, though!”

“Wait! How the heck did..uh..I don’t know how this one got in there...Don’t hit publish, yet...Oh shit, I just hit publish....Darn it!”
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