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AllieCat ❤️'S hats on cats-is probable weirdoJE Reich
4/24/16 5:19pm
Making new slogans for Ted Cruz really needs to be my full time job. Come on, buddy! I’ve never found a dead body in my employers closet and called the cops. (An interesting game to play is “how much money would it take to drop all your morals and publicly campaign for Ted Cruz. And the rule is you can never tell your friends and family why. You have to say it’s because you truly believe in him. How much would it take for you to do it? I think my number is low enough to feel ashamed. Pretty broke)

Anyway, Mr. Cruz....a sample of my work to reach out to diverse voters:

TrusTed! Never racist unless you’re named, Abed.
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  PinkBunnyHatAllieCat ❤️'S hats on cats-is probable weirdo
  4/24/16 5:30pm
  I would take 100,000 up front, but I don’t think I would have to stay at the job long. I think everyone I know would assume that I’d been brainwashed or had some sort of mental breakdown and have an intervention to have me committed to a hospital for being a danger to myself and others.
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  Flying SquidAllieCat ❤️'S hats on cats-is probable weirdo
  4/24/16 5:31pm
  I’d love to point out to whoever came up with his stupid slogan that ‘trusted’ and ‘trustworthy’ are very different things. Bill Cosby was trusted. Jerry Sandusky was trusted.
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deerlady83JE Reich
4/24/16 5:09pm
Just because you like individuals of a different race doesn’t mean you’re not racist.
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  Flying Squiddeerlady83
  4/24/16 5:12pm
  I’m guessing Ted thinks Panton is “one of the good ones.”
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  VeryVickydeerlady83
  4/24/16 5:22pm
  That point can’t be repeated often enough.
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Adrastra, patron saint of snarkJE Reich
4/24/16 5:09pm
‘I don’t believe that,’ the cabby said

To be fair, no one else does either.
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  Slay.douché - (dreams to be a puppy)Adrastra, patron saint of snark
  4/24/16 5:38pm
  Cat burglar Adrastra - perhaps time to “research” and debunk this? :)
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  zoe_koala (on_a_tricycle)Adrastra, patron saint of snark
  4/24/16 8:57pm
  That cabby is really witty. I hope he still works in DC.
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CaveyJE Reich
4/24/16 5:19pm
- Mr. Cruz had a bust of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. on the right side of his desk - It was on the desk when he got there and he was too busy filibustering to have it moved
- He was the only senator to attend the funeral of Nelson Mandela - He heard there would be good food at the wake (and as a junior senator, he was told to go)
- Had a ‘black guy’ as a college roommate and best man at his wedding-No one else pitied him enough to take the position.
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  Flying SquidCavey
  4/24/16 5:23pm
  From what Craig Mazin has said about him, #3 is probably the truth.
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  CaveyCavey
  4/24/16 5:29pm
  “I got ~~a bill~~ progress to stop - To the Filibuster-Cave!”
  
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Flying SquidJE Reich
4/24/16 5:09pm
Ted made a stop in my shitty little town today. Even thought the university has a big auditorium that they’re happy to rent out and the town has a giant renovated Vaudeville theatre that they’re happy to rent out, Ted decided to make his campaign stop in the auditorium of a private high school. Because even in Indiana, no one likes Ted Cruz. Incidentally, it’s called Woodrow Wilson High School, which is pretty fitting considering Wilson was TOTALLY NOT RACIST too.
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  deerlady83Flying Squid
  4/24/16 5:10pm
  He totally supported women, too.
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  Dr. Tongue's 3D House of BeefFlying Squid
  4/24/16 5:42pm
  No surprise there considering he made his campaign announcement in front of a crowd of supporters...err mandatory attendance students at Liberty University.
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Octopit didn't choose the burrito life, the burrito life chose octopit.JE Reich
4/24/16 5:55pm
If Ted Cruz had a tv show it would be called ‘that’s so Zodiac!’

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  scowly brow spinsterOctopit didn't choose the burrito life, the burrito life chose octopit.
  4/25/16 12:45am
  Mmmmmm...mama’s tapioca!
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randilynisFINDILYNJE Reich
4/24/16 5:14pm

The cab story? That’s made up, right? Because it really sounds made up.
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  State of FloridarandilynisFINDILYN
  4/24/16 5:30pm
  Lol so true. What kind of person going to meet a famous friend wants to brag about it to the guy driving the cab?
  
  (No person. The answer is nobody.)
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  PyramidHat [Wants Marsellus Wallace's Reel-to-Reel Tape Player]randilynisFINDILYN
  4/24/16 9:47pm
  Also, I imagine it would be considered poor form for anyone providing a service in DC to speak ill of anyone....you never know who's friends with whom...
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KeevaSJE Reich
4/24/16 5:55pm
To be honest, Cruz is the more rabid racist in the Republican Clown Pick-Up Truck. ‘New York Values’ anyone? Not to mention Cruz’s endless history of vilifying poor and minority communities in his mindlessly cruel drive to eliminate all social welfare benefits tot he poor while fighting to extend tax breaks to the wealthy - also known as Heidi Cruz’s clients. (This is a fair criticism since everyone seems to forget that her day job is a private wealth banker at Goldman Sachs).

And let us not forget Cruz’s deep seated hatred of women manifested in his total and zealous opposition to women’s reproductive and health care (not to mention masturbation) rights. Oh, Teddy also opposed equal pay.

Trump is most assuredly a racist, but Ted Cruz? Ted Cruz embodies racism, sexism and every other form of prejudice imaginable and he wears it with a sad pride.
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CaveyJE Reich
4/24/16 6:56pm
- David Panton hailed a cab to take him to the Capitol - From where to the Capital? From BWI? From the Holiday Inn? And a cab? That’s some slumming for a businessman/lobbyist with direct access to a senator.
- He told the driver he was going to see the Texas senator and presidential candidate - Like the cabby gave 2 shits about who you were going to see. He didn’t care, he didn’t ask and if you did divulge that information he probably thought you were making up some bullshit to impress him.
This entire anecdote reeks of some humble-brag bullshit that panders to people* who have no idea about how transportation and lobbying work in Washington, DC.

*Ted Cruz supporters
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Slay.douché - (dreams to be a puppy)JE Reich
4/24/16 5:34pm
VERY CONVENIENT in avoiding the Zodiac topic.
(Seems to pretty much *prove* that conundrum)
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