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    Snacky_OnassisHillary Crosley Coker
    4/20/16 1:54pm

    I’ll name your baby for a few papa john’s gift cards. That one is Boy Samantha. That one is Aubergine, That one is Gary.

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      AP BearSnacky_Onassis
      4/20/16 1:59pm

      Never met a Ceo named Gary.

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      LadyGrinningSoulSnacky_Onassis
      4/20/16 1:59pm

      Boy Samantha.

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    thetallblonde loves twinjaHillary Crosley Coker
    4/20/16 1:59pm

    Boaty McBoatface.

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      Ken Yadiggitthetallblonde loves twinja
      4/20/16 2:01pm

      this will never fail to make me laugh for all eternity

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      Rando Calrissianthetallblonde loves twinja
      4/20/16 2:01pm

      The internet always wins.

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    alter_egoHillary Crosley Coker
    4/20/16 2:03pm

    There was a post on r/relationships recently where the father wanted to name their unborn child after his...grandfather, I think. Except his grandfather had the same name as the mother’s rapist. And they’d discussed baby names before, and this apparently deal breaking desire of his didn’t come up until after she was pregnant and they found out the sex of the baby.

    Those people could use a service like this. Most people? They seem to manage fine on their own.

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      HaHaYouFoolalter_ego
      4/20/16 2:14pm

      CHOOSE A NEW NAME, DICKBAG, you grandfather will understand. Jesus fucking christ, upon finding out that the two names are the same, how do you not immediately begin coming up with other names? I can’t even.

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      lunchcomaHaHaYouFool
      4/20/16 2:20pm

      Hell, if grandpop really needs to be memorialized, surely he has a middle name that could be worked into the kid’s name somewhere?

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    OMG!PONIES!Hillary Crosley Coker
    4/20/16 2:05pm

    Free Baby Names:

    Octavia Thunderbutt

    Victrola Snarfingtop

    Grilled Cheese Sandwich

    (dolphin noises)

    ¬^]ftb@⁴÷>+ý**:’čžedț

    Lord Admiral Ducky Quackenbush

    Toots McPoots

    Sproing

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      agenttrembleOMG!PONIES!
      4/20/16 2:13pm

      Dibsy on Victrola Snarfingtop

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      Suck It, TrebekOMG!PONIES!
      4/20/16 2:28pm

      Yeah, but you know in 5 years there will be like, 5, Toots McPoots in her kindergarten class...

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    HarveyCapeguyHillary Crosley Coker
    4/20/16 2:02pm

    “...his firm does check to ensure that a baby name has not already been trademarked.”

    This may be ignorance on my part, but...people are trademarking their baby’s name? Turning their child into a product before birth? Wow. That kind of cold makes the worst racist rants of H.P. Lovecraft sound like “The Cat in the Hat.”

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      lunchcomaHarveyCapeguy
      4/20/16 2:07pm

      I’m thinking this is more like letting you know that “Allegra” may make people think of allergy medication rather than music.

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      HarveyCapeguylunchcoma
      4/20/16 2:17pm

      Oh, I hope you’re right about that. I really wouldn’t want to meet a Mary Sue™ Jones or a Billy Bob® Smith.

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    BusPassTrollop curls up and diesHillary Crosley Coker
    4/20/16 2:02pm

    Hell I will PAY someone to let ME name THEIR baby. Brutus Judas the Double-Double Crosser. It is NOT really that bad and I just wish someone would fucking take me up on it already! I am not having any more kids, and the one I do have is a girl, so I don’t have the chance and I’m not wasting this badass name on a damn pet.

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      KK4BamaBusPassTrollop curls up and dies
      4/20/16 2:07pm

      I know too many people with dogs named Brutus.

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      BusPassTrollop curls up and diesKK4Bama
      4/20/16 2:09pm

      No the whole name is Brutus Judas the Double Double Crosser. You do not know a dog with that name.

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    Ken YadiggitHillary Crosley Coker
    4/20/16 1:58pm

    $29, 000 dollars later, the grand reveal is made

    Your baby.

    Is named Englebert Humperdinck.

    No take-backs.

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      Mental IcebergKen Yadiggit
      4/20/16 2:00pm

      Baby McBabyface?

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      Covered in BeesKen Yadiggit
      4/20/16 2:01pm

      But he’s going to go by Arnold.

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    KatMarloweHillary Crosley Coker
    4/20/16 2:09pm

    My parents picked my and my siblings’ names out of a hat.

    Each time, my parents had a few names they liked, wrote them on slips of paper, and then did rock-paper-scissors for who got to pick. My name was apparently picked out of a Yankees cap.

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      TopherKatMarlowe
      4/20/16 2:17pm

      My parents also picked names out of a hat. They stopped after they accidentally named my brother Stetson.

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      mollymlf05KatMarlowe
      4/20/16 2:56pm

      You were sorted to your correct name!

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    TopherHillary Crosley Coker
    4/20/16 1:58pm

    $29,000? What a ripoff. For only $28,000, I’ll name your baby. I’m also a certified Name Rater, which is a very exclusive designation. Here’s my card:

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      wishtTopher
      4/20/16 2:53pm

      I mourn that I only have one star to give.

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    CineCraftHillary Crosley Coker
    4/20/16 2:13pm

    I would also like to announce the founding of my artisanal baby naming workshoperie. For only $19,999 my skilled team of artisans, craftsmen and woodworkers will through time tested hand crafted means determine just the right name for your baby.

    We also make a mean batch of bean-to-bar chocolate*

    *Remelted Mast Brothers bars

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      mollymlf05CineCraft
      4/20/16 2:58pm

      “Bean-to-bar” has to be the dumbest thing ever. Right after “farm-to-table.” How else do you think your food makes it to your table, dumbass? It just magicked its way into existence?

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      CineCraftmollymlf05
      4/20/16 3:09pm

      My biggest pet peeve is how they refer to their place of business as a cupcakery or a laboratory or innovation workshop. You work in a goddamn fucking kitchen. Just say it!

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