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    GELLA - LLAPMadeleine Davies
    4/14/16 8:07pm

    attempting to curse his penis

    Well that’s just cruel.

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      JujyMonkey: Clever tagline goes hereGELLA - LLAP
      4/14/16 8:11pm

      She put a curse on Jeremy Piven because he’s kind of a dick.

      ZING!!!!

      I'm here all week folks; please tip your waitress and try the veal!

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      GELLA - LLAPJujyMonkey: Clever tagline goes here
      4/14/16 8:12pm

      its Jeremy PEEN for you

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    PenelopeParadisMadeleine Davies
    4/14/16 8:23pm

    So much hate for the beautiful Blake Lively, I guess if Chris Brown kicks her in the stomach, then we can rally for her.

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      DontBeSuchaBoobPunchTinaPenelopeParadis
      4/14/16 8:34pm

      Blake seems nice enough. I don’t think anyone hates her. She’s just a little pretentious, and a lot dull.

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      Fuzzy SocksDontBeSuchaBoobPunchTina
      4/14/16 8:41pm

      Exactly. She's beautiful but not a great actress, and her whole lifestyle brand site was a tone deaf swing and a miss.

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    Octopit didn't choose the burrito life, the burrito life chose octopit.Madeleine Davies
    4/14/16 8:17pm

    i mean the woman is obviously mentally disturbed BUT she also seems like a witch who knows what is up. If you are going to use black magic ALWAYS use it to curse penises is my motto. Don’t waste black magic on trivial shit. Just penis cursing and waffle making. OMINOUS WAFFLE MAKING.

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      Slay.douché - (dreams to be a puppy)Octopit didn't choose the burrito life, the burrito life chose octopit.
      4/14/16 8:20pm

      Penis-shaped waffle making?

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      YoSupOctopit didn't choose the burrito life, the burrito life chose octopit.
      4/14/16 8:33pm

      Kill two birds with one stone and only use magic to turn penises into waffles. Which is really win-win, when you think about it.

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    Adrastra, patron saint of snarkMadeleine Davies
    4/14/16 8:08pm

    But like...curse it how? Make it small? Make it big? Make it infertile? There are so many options here.

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      Slay.douché - (dreams to be a puppy)Adrastra, patron saint of snark
      4/14/16 8:12pm

      Make it turn into a cutesy elephant on the full moon?

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      Adrastra, patron saint of snarkSlay.douché - (dreams to be a puppy)
      4/14/16 8:15pm

      Like I said, lots of options.

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    SugarCoatedBitchMadeleine Davies
    4/14/16 8:14pm

    In Canada, all men named Ryan must impregnate their woman at the same time.

    It’s the Spring Breeding Ritual

    Made into law in 1963 to combat low birth rates.

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      LizTaylorsEarringsSugarCoatedBitch
      4/14/16 9:18pm

      Why you telling important nation secrets? The Mounties are coming for you now.

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      Mr. Ogre of the Atlantic Canadian Ogres, of course.SugarCoatedBitch
      4/14/16 11:24pm

      Suddenly thankful I’m not named Ryan.

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    rusholmeruffianMadeleine Davies
    4/14/16 8:16pm

    PEOPLE. Did nobody at Gawker see fit to pass along the magnificent tale of Azealia Banks, Twitter/Square founder Jack Dorsey, and the magical beard hair amulet?

    http://www.stereogum.com/1871312/twitte...

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      GELLA - LLAPrusholmeruffian
      4/14/16 8:18pm

      ha ha ha ha ha she is hungry for attention

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      DontBeSuchaBoobPunchTinarusholmeruffian
      4/14/16 8:33pm

      She is sooooo batshit

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    Slay.douché - (dreams to be a puppy)Madeleine Davies
    4/14/16 8:10pm

    Why don’t the imbalanced ever seem intent on HEXING THE TRUMPS OF THE WORLD?

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      RainbowFriteSlay.douché - (dreams to be a puppy)
      4/14/16 8:14pm

      Oh they didn’t? So he just... looks like that?

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      Cherith CutestorySlay.douché - (dreams to be a puppy)
      4/14/16 8:41pm

      True story Donald Trump is actually a cursed penis. Underneath the orange glow and that wig is the animated engorged penis of a man who did someone wrong.

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    Cylontater: Luke Skywalker's Baby MamaMadeleine Davies
    4/14/16 8:16pm

    Blac Chyna on a prenup:

    GIF
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      Adrastra, patron saint of snarkCylontater: Luke Skywalker's Baby Mama
      4/14/16 8:26pm

      Now I’m beginning to wonder if this was Blac Chyna and Tyga’s plan from the start. Only Kylie hasn’t married Tyga yet, so Blac Chyna had to step in with Rob.

      Kodename: Konspiracy.

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      Cylontater: Luke Skywalker's Baby MamaAdrastra, patron saint of snark
      4/14/16 8:29pm

      This is one hell of a long con.

      Much respect if true.

      *prays it's true*

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    DuchessCrazyLindaMadeleine Davies
    4/14/16 8:08pm

    My hard and fast rule is to only use black magic on penises I know and dislike.

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      JujyMonkey: Clever tagline goes hereDuchessCrazyLinda
      4/14/16 8:14pm

      So, a black Magic Johnson?

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      FeralFrigidSlutJujyMonkey: Clever tagline goes here
      4/14/16 8:26pm

      You are ON FIRE today!

      Much like a cursed penis.

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    zombiebarbieMadeleine Davies
    4/14/16 8:45pm

    Friends, I still have an irrational hatred of Andi Dorfman. Like girl...you were an ADA, you left cases and your coworkers hanging twice to do the “stupidest thing you’ve ever been a part of”?!

    http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news...

    ETA: Its actually a completely rational hatred. I was studying for the Georgia bar during the time she was all reality-TV’d up and I live in Atlanta. I’ve also unsuccessfully applied to the Fulton County District Attorney’s office, where she worked (and was paid!) while chasing fame. I’m like...really? I have experience and I won’t leave you for a dating show, I promise.

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      Cereal Monogamistzombiebarbie
      4/14/16 9:45pm

      My SIL shares your sentiments - she really wanted to work for the Fulton DA, and couldn’t (maybe 1-2 years before this), and she about had a rage stroke that this girl would leave her job for reality TV.

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      zombiebarbieCereal Monogamist
      4/14/16 10:38pm

      Not to sound like everyone’s crazy Tea Party uncle, but it also really bothered me that she was still being paid by the county during her time on The Bachelor. I get that there’s paid leave and its necessary for family/personal crises, but I don’t think going on a reality show is what it should be for.

      I still can’t believe they let her go in the first place. As a DA, you’re primarily a trial attorney and being on television compromised her ability to be able to pick a jury. It also really irks me that they let her take leave a second time, since she’d only been back in the office for about a month and she only gave them a week’s notice before The Bachelorette. And again, she had a full docket and I know defense attorneys who had to shuffle things around since she was taking off.

      I’ll just be smug knowing she can’t work as an attorney for at least another 3-5 years, or however long enough for people to forget her from the zeitgeist.

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