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    christcoSam Biddle
    4/18/16 12:41pm

    “Half of the world’s population is under the age of 25, yet millennials are left on the sidelines of our most powerful organizations. Let’s change that.”

    How about, let’s not change that? The reason people under 25 are on the sidelines is because they have no fucking life experience. Shut up, junior, and wait your turn.

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      sugarsnap-peachristco
      4/18/16 12:56pm

      Well, they aren’t going to get any life experience at Helena, either, so I guess its fine if they just spin their wheels for a bit.

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      DL Thurstonchristco
      4/18/16 1:02pm

      What percent of the population is under 10? How about under 5? My daughter has plenty of time between her afternoon naps and dinner to occasionally be an international thought leader if they want to make sure to be really representative of the world’s age demographics.

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    Jeb! & The HologramsSam Biddle
    4/18/16 12:25pm

    Dildo factory. That’s what it is. It’s a dildo factory.

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      FredDorfmanJeb! & The Holograms
      4/18/16 12:27pm

      But not just a dildo factory.

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      Sluicer's ghostJeb! & The Holograms
      4/18/16 12:28pm

      Good plan, because in the weeks before President elect Cruz is inaugurated people will be rushing to the sex shops to hoard dildos.

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    MuscatoSam Biddle
    4/18/16 12:30pm

    Well, at the very least, it’s the most elaborate iteration of “Daddy needs a tax deduction” that I’ve ever seen. I spent more than seven years in the UAE, and I thought no one but one could out-bullshit the con artists who are making a fortune out there on “world-class,” “bespoke,” “solution-focused” “change-agentry,” but it would seem I was wrong...

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      Emerald D.V.Muscato
      4/18/16 12:43pm

      I’d say this is a hell of a lot of effort to go through for a money-laundering scheme, but there are people out there who can spew this kind of business-sounding nonsense content very easily, and they get paid a lot more than I do.

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      SisterCarrieMuscato
      4/18/16 12:50pm

      It’s a fucking networking group. That’s it. It’s LinkedIn for (even bigger) dipshits.

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    EdnasEdiblesSam Biddle
    4/18/16 12:49pm

    I’m pretty sure they don’t have the rights for 80% of the photos they are using in this presentation. Like did Steve McCurry really give permission for his National Geographic photo to be included in this pretentious pile of ridiculousness?

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      XrdsAlumEdnasEdibles
      4/18/16 12:55pm

      Besides, how old is that woman now? Someone probably suggested Malala but the boy genius demanded a brown girl with more striking eyes.

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      Declan HackettEdnasEdibles
      4/18/16 12:56pm

      Came with this!

      They need to learn to at least pick from the second page of results on Google Image Search…

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    toothpetardSam Biddle
    4/18/16 12:31pm
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      misterclock_nvtoothpetard
      4/18/16 12:35pm

      I hope your patient zero for the start of a new meme.

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      Buzzboytoothpetard
      4/18/16 12:35pm

      Genius.

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    Doofenschmirtz, Inc.Sam Biddle
    4/18/16 12:31pm

    We are a self-funded union of entrepreneurs, financiers and philanthropists

    Sure you are. Getting y0ur dad to lend you m0ney to invest in Theranos is not being self-funded, dipshit.

    And pity fucks do not make you a philantrophist.

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      toothpetardDoofenschmirtz, Inc.
      4/18/16 12:41pm

      They seem to have the ‘empty suit problem’ extremely well covered though.

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      Doofenschmirtz, Inc.toothpetard
      4/18/16 12:51pm

      This is true.

      From reading between the lines, what it sounds like is that young Henry failed to get an internship at McKinsey or some such fancy outfit.

      To hide this shame, he asked his dad for money to meet a bunch of famous people and created a bogus organization that makes it look like he actually did something over summer break. And since the language is so vague and non-commital, he’s technically not lying about the fact that he did nothing.

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    phunkshunSam Biddle
    4/18/16 12:51pm

    “It’s a non-profit organization that brings together a mixture of under-25 millennials that are accomplished, and over-25 year olds to collaborate on finding new approaches to issues and problems facing society and also to help the under-25 millennial generation have a greater voice and impact in business, civic life, social things...so that when strategy and plans are set, it’s not...the interests and needs of millennial generation are taken into consideration.”

    I’ve never had a problem with millenials, I just really want to load some of them into a cannon and fire them into the sun because of passages like this.

    I mean, get fucking real.

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      clickbaitandswitchphunkshun
      4/18/16 1:40pm

      http://Low hanging fruit that needs to be buttoned up before sunsetting

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      2fast2warphunkshun
      4/18/16 2:34pm

      Many of us are reasonable! We watched classic Simpsons and Seinfeld, had flip-phones, and know what dial-up sounds like!

      #notallmillennials

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    Quasar FunkSam Biddle
    4/18/16 12:34pm

    The startup apparently lets you imagine Ted Cruz as a young hipster with a broken nose.

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      gizmoFanQuasar Funk
      4/18/16 12:50pm

      “... hipster with a coke nose." 👍

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      onehappymanQuasar Funk
      4/18/16 12:57pm

      Aging narcissistic hipster with cult-like youth following and developer of iPhone apps that encourage narcissism.

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    Sluicer's ghostSam Biddle
    4/18/16 12:27pm

    Sam, what they are doing is a high-tech version of the long con. The good news is that only venture capitalists will be the mark.

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      buttholesurferwannabeSluicer's ghost
      4/18/16 12:30pm
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      Doofenschmirtz, Inc.Sluicer's ghost
      4/18/16 12:44pm

      I dunno; this sounds like the sort of prank Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld would pull to create a real life Seinfeld spoof.

      From a show about nothing to a company that does nothing.

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    okiedokieokieSam Biddle
    4/18/16 12:34pm

    I don’t have time to read most of that. I just assume they are trying to make America great again.

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      Quasar Funkokiedokieokie
      4/18/16 12:35pm

      Not just America. THE WORLD.

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      foldableQuasar Funk
      4/18/16 1:14pm

      They’re going to build a wall around THE WHOLE THING.

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