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    weebleswobbleEllie Shechet
    4/12/16 12:37pm

    Can someone explain why polygamy illegal? If it’s based on a violation of the traditional rules of marriage, shouldn’t they just try piggy backing on the legalization of gay marriage? I feel like it gets dicey when it comes to things like spousal benefits and tax deductions, but other than that I don’t really get what the basis of the ban is.

    (I’m obviously not talking about cases like Jeffs’)

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      GinAndTonic Got Stuck in the Barneyweebleswobble
      4/12/16 12:40pm

      It’s primary because it’s considered immoral. Anti-polygamy laws were certainly enacted mostly because of dislike fear and distrust of Mormons, too.

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      darleeeeeene aka deraaiilleeeeeeneweebleswobble
      4/12/16 12:42pm

      It only is in basically Utah, because of the issues with abusive polygamist marriages.

      I agree with the Sister Wives here, just because they don’t prosecute bans doesnt mean that they should be allowed to stay on the books. And I feel like this law could result in trumped up charges, like just tacking that on, even if it wasn’t a polygamist household. Like if a household gets caught growing weed, and a few adults live in the house, they could add polygamy charges to the suit, regardless of the situation.

      Plus, bans on polygamist families DOES instill a fear of police, and if people are being abused in that household, it will never come to light. It’s breeding this sort of abuse.

      I sort of feel like the whole idea of marriage benefits should be re-evaluated.

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    Kris-the-Needlessly-DefiantEllie Shechet
    4/12/16 12:39pm

    Off topic, but have you ever seen a person suit the name Kody more than that asshole?

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      CindyLouCthulhuKris-the-Needlessly-Defiant
      4/12/16 12:41pm

      Zissou’s dog was a pretty good Kody (Cody?). Yes he was.

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      darleeeeeene aka deraaiilleeeeeeneKris-the-Needlessly-Defiant
      4/12/16 12:44pm

      He is the WORST!! I understand why he has so many wives. None of them want to deal with him more than once every 4 days. Plus they get built in babysitters and like can do their own thing most of the time.

      I wish Sister Wives wasn’t so boring, because while I’m really fascinated by them, the show can be a slog.

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    GELLA - LLAPEllie Shechet
    4/12/16 12:36pm

    so i can’t have a harem of man??

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      Masshole JamesGELLA - LLAP
      4/12/16 12:39pm

      You and me both sister! What a bullshit ruling! There goes my my Utah sex cult, right out the window.

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      JujyMonkey: Clever tagline goes hereGELLA - LLAP
      4/12/16 12:39pm

      You wouldn’t like it what with all the farting and scratching.

      We are gross, trust me on this.

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    SocialJusticeWarriorPrincessEllie Shechet
    4/12/16 12:58pm

    I’m polyamorous, and although I don’t (currently) live with any of my partners besides my husband, I’m not ruling it out down the line. So I’m a little disturbed by the fact that the law makes it “illegal in Utah for married people to live with additional partners.” If they aren’t marrying the other people in a court of law, why should it be illegal just to live with them? I know there are tons of issues with polygamy (child brides, male supremacy), but if it’s between a group of consenting adults, I don’t see why this is such an issue. Frankly it makes me nervous, I’m a member of a large poly network filled with families of different configurations, many of them with kids, laws like this could be used to justify breaking up our families.

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      SprocheteSocialJusticeWarriorPrincess
      4/12/16 1:06pm

      I think one of the big considerations is welfare fraud. Man is legally married to wife A, “spiritual” wives B, C, D file for government aid as unwed mothers. So the spiritual household brings in a lot in terms of food aid, housing aid, and other support. That seems to be a fairly common scam among plural households.

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      SocialJusticeWarriorPrincessSprochete
      4/12/16 1:15pm

      So then the solution would be for plural marriage to be legal right? So that taxes, benefits, visitation rights, etc could be legally sorted out. Bringing it all into the light can only help stop corruption and abuse.

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    QuanYinEllie Shechet
    4/12/16 1:00pm

    So, here’s the thing. The Sister Wives folks are all very weird people. Their weirdness has nothing whatsoever with the composition of their family, but more to do with the fact that four women have chosen to “marry” the same repellant doofus. But whatever... there is clearly something attractive about him somewhere very, very deep inside in a place where it cannot be perceived by TV viewers. Good for him.

    And the wives? I don’t understand or share their religious views, but I don’t have to. They seem happy for the most part. This is a family structure that works for them. They are all consenting adults, their children seem generally happy and well-adjusted, and it appears that no one is being harmed or exploited. There is only 1 legal marriage, no one is taking advantage of welfare or other services that they aren’t entitled to (I don’t know whether any of the “single” women with children get any sort of government assistance), and everyone seems to be getting their needs met.

    So, my question is why should anyone care? What, exactly, is the government’s interest in prohibiting consenting adults from living together in community for whatever reason they choose? What about this kind of family structure is harmful or damaging or wrong enough that it should subject people to criminal charges? I don’t get it.

    Polygamy/polyamory is not my cup of tea, but I can certainly see that there are benefits to it, especially when there are kids involved. The thought of a family structure in which some parents work outside the home and some parents work inside the home seems pretty damn attractive to me at times. What working parent hasn’t at one point or another wished for a(nother) spouse; someone to stay home with the sick kid, or to make an actual meal for dinner, or to shuttle from school to practice to lessons to wherever, or to pay the bills on time, or to take the car in for a tune-up, or any of the other eleventy billion tasks that need to be done in an average day?

    Is there something I’m missing here?

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      SocialJusticeWarriorPrincessQuanYin
      4/12/16 1:04pm

      No you’re exactly correct. Thanks for laying it out so well.

      - signed, A poly person

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      reboundstudentQuanYin
      4/12/16 1:16pm

      I don’t think you’re missing anything, in that THIS situation is healthy. But polygamy in Utah can’t be taken without context. There are many, many, many poly marriages in Utah that DO abuse government assistance, that DO involve coercion and long-term indoctrination, and ARE very harmful to anyone who isn’t a rich, straight man. I think the anti-poly laws came about as an imperfect way to deal with a group of individuals who live so much within their own autonomous little bubble it’s hard to properly prosecute them.

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    PinkBunnyHatEllie Shechet
    4/12/16 12:45pm

    Only one of those women look happy to be married to that doofus.

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      PerraviejaPinkBunnyHat
      4/12/16 12:48pm

      She’s the newest one. And the one who is now legally married to him.

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      BurntiggerburnPinkBunnyHat
      4/12/16 12:48pm

      Well, she is the only one that he is married to legally.

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    KayEllie Shechet
    4/12/16 12:41pm

    As long as they are not receiving additional financial/tax benefits that are afforded to married couples, and all involved are consenting adults, I really see no problem with this at all. Aside from the sex, etc., if they aren’t legal marriages, how can this be viewed by the law as being different than adult roommates living with a married couple?

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      meowshittybrowncowKay
      4/12/16 12:53pm

      same thought. not my jam—-but they are consenting adults

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      darleeeeeene aka deraaiilleeeeeeneKay
      4/12/16 12:54pm

      It’s only Utah that has this law, because of obvious reasons. I think this law was enacted because main stream mormons are very very anti polygamy now, and because of all the awful abuses in polygamist households.

      The law keeps the polygamist households hidden though...and instills a fear of police in the children, so I’d bet that this law creates more hotbeds of abuse than it solves.

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    JujyMonkey: Clever tagline goes hereEllie Shechet
    4/12/16 12:42pm

    But Professor, that’s bigamy!

    Yes, it’s big a me too! It’s big of all of us! let’s be big for a change!

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      The Noble RenardJujyMonkey: Clever tagline goes here
      4/12/16 12:49pm

      “I’m sick of these conventional marriages. One woman and one man was good enough for your grandmother, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Nobody, not even your grandfather.”

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      JujyMonkey: Clever tagline goes hereThe Noble Renard
      4/12/16 12:53pm

      God, those movies still hold up so well.

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    AlpacaEllie Shechet
    4/12/16 12:34pm

    Not sure why three consenting adults can’t enter into marriage together...That dude has major balls though. The odds of at least one wife being angry at any given time are like 100%.

    -Happily married to only one woman

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      KK4BamaAlpaca
      4/12/16 12:38pm

      I’ve watched the show a few times and there does seem to be a lot of friction between the wives. The episode devoted to them all building separate homes on the same street was awkward to watch. Also, Kody just reeks of douchecanoe.

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      darleeeeeene aka deraaiilleeeeeeneKK4Bama
      4/12/16 12:46pm

      They talk in like...psychologist speak, all the time. They are all like “my jealousy is something that I have to fix in myself” and “I can’t make others do things, I can only make myself stronger” blah blah

      They are working really really hard to keep that boat afloat. But then, so does everyone.

      And like Ive said a million times, I can understand only marrying Kody in a poly situation...I couldn’t imagine dealing with him 7 days a week! Once every 4 days though? And I have all the support of the other wives and shit? Maybe I could do that.

      Who am I kidding? I couldn’t ever.

      “when you kiss someone, your hormones go into their mouth”

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    LuaEllie Shechet
    4/12/16 12:39pm

    Yes such a healthy relationship that one sister wife got sucked into a catfishing scheme with someone pretending to be a man interested in her. Very healthy...

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      darleeeeeene aka deraaiilleeeeeeneLua
      4/12/16 12:54pm

      WOAH WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?!!?!? DEEETS?!>?!?!?!

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      Sodburgerdarleeeeeene aka deraaiilleeeeeene
      4/12/16 12:56pm

      you didn’t know about the infamous “Meri got catfished by a woman” scandal??? AND YOU CALL YOURSELF A FAN.

      It’s actually not that interesting.

      http://hollywoodlife.com/2015/11/23/mer...

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