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    Low Information BoaterHamilton Nolan
    3/31/16 2:23pm

    Whenever I need to approximate the headspace of an average GOP voter to try understanding their thought process, I grab a 2 liter of Mt.Dew, toss it in the freezer for a few hours, then retrieve it and bash myself in the skull repeatedly until I lose consciousness. I didn't realize people actually drank the stuff.

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      dothedewLow Information Boater
      3/31/16 2:31pm

      It is refreshing and delicious and anyone who disagrees is an idiot.*

      * dothedew is in no way associated with Mt. Dew or Pepsico. Any similarities between dothedew and Mt Dew’s “Do the Dew” advertising campaign is completely random and definitely not done intentionally.

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      butcherbakertoiletrymakerdothedew
      3/31/16 2:33pm

      I was wondering if I’d find you here.

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    Johnny ChundersHamilton Nolan
    3/31/16 2:20pm

    Has there been a rapid expansion in the population of Texas?

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      clickSuckaJohnny Chunders
      3/31/16 2:44pm

      Yeah..by people who are smart and think they can save money not paying income taxes but paying high property taxes...Yeeehaw

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      flamingolingoclickSucka
      3/31/16 2:50pm

      Even so, housing is still pretty cheap in Texas. My sister has an enormous 2BR in downtown Houston for about the same rent a Manhattanite would pay for bathtub sleeping privileges. The downside, of course, is that she has to live in Houston.

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    ThrumbolioHamilton Nolan
    3/31/16 2:22pm

    Dr. Pepper tastes like cherry-ish Coke.

    Mountain Dew of any variety tastes like electric chemical piss with a twist of some vaguely citrus-tasting fruit.

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      ThenSAThrumbolio
      3/31/16 2:26pm

      “Awesome!” is the word you are looking for.

      “Dr Pepper tastes like Awesome!”

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      clickSuckaThrumbolio
      3/31/16 2:36pm

      I threw up the first time I tasted Dr. Pepper...

      Then I moved to Texas...and it was required drinking

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    hntergrenHamilton Nolan
    3/31/16 2:22pm

    And the real news of this article, is the growing popularity of delicious, mouth-watering, nazi coke:

    The big winner was Coke-owned Fanta, whose volume surged by 8.3%, putting it in eighth place.

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      DoobyOnehntergren
      3/31/16 2:34pm

      Fucking Juggalos.

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      FridayNextDoobyOne
      3/31/16 2:40pm

      Juggles “drink” Faygo, not Fanta.

      You are so square.

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    IanHamilton Nolan
    3/31/16 2:26pm

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      Jason98Ian
      3/31/16 2:34pm

      give me a crab juice

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      BrianGriffinIan
      3/31/16 2:35pm

      It's sad that they pulled this episode from syndication.

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    TheEvilAttorneyHamilton Nolan
    3/31/16 2:20pm

    Just admit that your ultimate preference is Greek yogurt flavored soda.

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      BrotherFromAnotherMotherTheEvilAttorney
      3/31/16 2:21pm

      As long as it isn’t Chobani.

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      IanTheEvilAttorney
      3/31/16 2:24pm

      Flavored with the best Greeks.

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    hntergrenHamilton Nolan
    3/31/16 2:19pm

    The undeniable truth, Ham, is that they are both utterly disgusting.

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      Hip Brooklyn Stereotypehntergren
      3/31/16 2:23pm

      Even as a kid, Mountain Dew disgusted the hell out of me. Tantamount to drinking toxic waste, except there’s a lot more sugar.

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      WestoverMorgantownHip Brooklyn Stereotype
      3/31/16 2:27pm

      If you look closely on a map of the U.S., the state of West Virginia is actually sponsored by Mountain Dew.

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    monstrosityHamilton Nolan
    3/31/16 2:30pm

    I was with a British friend when we passed one of those candy stores in the UK that have ‘specialty’ American products you can’t normally get there (like the reverse of the British candy stores in North America). Super marked up sweets like Lucky Charms, M&Ms and Mountain Dew. If i recall correctly, a 12 pack of Mountain Dew was something like 20 pounds (aprox $35 US). My friend was very curious about it, he was actually contemplating paying that to try it out. I had to tell him, repeatedly, that it was *NOT* worth it.

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      flamingolingomonstrosity
      3/31/16 2:58pm

      British sweets are generally better, but their sodas are worse. Ever had Irn Bru? It makes Mountain Dew seem subtle and sophisticated.

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      Krugerrantflamingolingo
      3/31/16 3:17pm

      The British cold beverage consumer market is absolutely disgusting, and I come from a country that had Surge in my school vending machines.

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    BabyGroundhogEyesHamilton Nolan
    3/31/16 2:24pm

    Way back inna ‘70's & ‘80's Mountain Dew usta have these little green faux-pulp thingies floatin’ around innit—Now THAT was the shit!! Way.

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      DoobyOneBabyGroundhogEyes
      3/31/16 2:37pm

      Holy shit! Really? I don’t remember that at all. The only sodas I have these days re at the cinema. Those robot drink machines that let me make my “Suicide” mix are fucking incredible. Half regular Coke, quarter cherry Coke and quarter raspberry Coke. Soooooo good.

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      BabyGroundhogEyesDoobyOne
      3/31/16 2:43pm

      Totally true. It woulds settle in the bottom of the bottle & you coulds either shake it a little bit to mix it up (it also had way less carbonation!)—Or save it in the bottom of the bottle for a more potent last guzzle. I know it’s way easy to shine olds on—But we had WAY better shit “back inna day”! Totes way, bro.

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    GrumpyEagleHamilton Nolan
    3/31/16 2:35pm

    I work in a tech company and the first soda to sell out in the machines is inevitably Diet Mountain Dew. The developers literally build little fortresses out of empties in their cubes. Granted, it is the most caffeinny of all the carbonated dreck, but ... Yuck.

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      sunshineonthebay1GrumpyEagle
      3/31/16 3:15pm

      Sorry to break this to you, but if they’re not drinking Red Bull you’re company is going under.

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      GrumpyEaglesunshineonthebay1
      3/31/16 3:37pm

      They might very well have secret stashes in their desks. I don't go over to that part of the building much. The shades are usually closed and it's kind of smelly.

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