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Dobby's-SockStassa Edwards
5/06/16 11:29am
I LOVED this piece. I’ve had clients come to me and say horrible things like, “I couldn’t cry at my own father’s funeral; please help me cry.” I know people who do impact play, just to help them start crying. Many of them are men, but some are women. Crying is such a loaded event, with so many more social implications than I had really considered, until reading this piece. Thank you!
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  SeabassyDobby's-Sock
  5/06/16 11:44am
  I’m a woman, but the first time I saw my dad cry, ever, was at his mother’s funeral when I was 19. I’d not been a crier as a youth, and I realized in that moment it was because I looked up to my dad so much, and he was a stoic, almost emotionless (besides anger) person. This helped me see that all the more-than-typical-for-a-teen anger I was carrying around was stymied tears. I didn’t cry at my grandmother’s funeral because I didn’t know how to cry yet, but seeing him cry really helped me learn to get more in touch with my emotions. Now, as a someone who teaches university students sometimes, I show my emotion in class when relevant. I’ve had both male and female students tell me I’m “brave” for showing real human emotions in front of them, and that they appreciate it.
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  NonServiam's GhostDobby's-Sock
  5/06/16 11:45am
  I’m from an near-third-world country and if you’re a man and don’t cry at your mother’s funeral, you’re going to be the talk of the village. Whoever can’t do the big wailing cry is a pariah who is assumed not to care. Masculinity = geography, history etc. Not as much a thing in itself.
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SqarrStassa Edwards
5/06/16 11:25am
I... Uh... Huh.

This is not at all what I expected.
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  Rando CalrissianSqarr
  5/06/16 11:41am
  Speaking of..... (also, hijack but pls don’t hate me bc I think you’ll care) ALDEN EHRENREICH HAS BEEN CAST AS YOUNG HAN SOLO!!!
  
  GIF
  
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  Ken YadiggitRando Calrissian
  5/06/16 11:45am
  ew why
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Writer4003Stassa Edwards
5/06/16 11:30am
Like all the ad campaigns that seek to capitalize on showing “real women” and the like, I think men will find that corporations trying to push against patriarchal pressures, while they may scratch the surface of some personal forms of oppression, won’t enact any meaningful structural change. Dove wants women to love their bodies just enough to buy their products - they don’t care about systematically entrenched oppression. It’ll be the same for men. There’s no money in challenging capitalism.
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  JozeeDozeeWriter4003
  5/06/16 11:34am
  I roll my eyes anytime I see/hear an ad talking to me like I’m some manly doofus that wants to use soap but still wants to smell “manly”. That shit doesn’t work on me and I feel sorry for the idiots that eat it up.
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  Buckylaw14JozeeDozee
  5/06/16 11:45am
  I hate the use of the word man as a prefix. Man-cave? Pretty sure thats called a den.
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IWASDARTHVADER's death star canteenStassa Edwards
5/06/16 11:34am
i’m just here for the male tears gifs.

GIF

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  Stig-a-saw-us wrecks loves nuclear power.IWASDARTHVADER's death star canteen
  5/06/16 11:37am
  
  GIF
  
  .
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  Stig-a-saw-us wrecks loves nuclear power.IWASDARTHVADER's death star canteen
  5/06/16 11:40am
  Am I doing it right? You said mail tears.
  
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NomNom83Stassa Edwards
5/06/16 11:22am
I was gonna make a cheap, “maybe he just sprayed some in his eyes” joke but then I kept scrolling and scrolling and this is apparently an actual adult conversation so...

*scrolls back up to actually read*
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  halifax with the hot gray takeNomNom83
  5/06/16 1:12pm
  leave it to stassa to make us use our thinkers on a friday!
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Pie-pieStassa Edwards
5/06/16 11:45am
So what you’re saying is I have to buy another flask?

Kidding. This was a very well-researched and interesting article and didn’t go where I thought it would. Good read!
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  scowly brow spinsterPie-pie
  5/06/16 11:58am
  Is this real? Because I want it.
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  Pie-piescowly brow spinster
  5/06/16 12:06pm
  It is indeed! http://www.zazzle.com/male+tears+gif...
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ChozoRuinsStassa Edwards
5/06/16 11:27am
I had tears in my eyes multiple times during Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Am I part of this new sensitive man culture or just a giant baby for nostalgia? I’m leaning toward the latter and I am completely ok with it.
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  MisfitToyChozoRuins
  5/06/16 11:47am
  It was probably just the score.
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  ChozoRuinsMisfitToy
  5/06/16 11:50am
  Sure, the first time I teared up. 1. Opening crawl, 2. Han and Chewie. 3. Han :(, 4. R2!, 5. LUKE.
  
  I was a mess.
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Rover537Stassa Edwards
5/06/16 11:33am
Hootie and the Blowfish taught me it was ok to cry way back in 1994.

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  randilynisFINDILYNRover537
  5/06/16 11:46am
  I always thought it was the Miami Dolphins!
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  Mental IcebergrandilynisFINDILYN
  5/06/16 11:56am
  Lol, it is.
  
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fortheloveofbeetsStassa Edwards
5/06/16 12:07pm
This is a wonderful piece. Thank you. I think this is an important question:

As male tears abound, it seems worth asking, for whom exactly is the renegotiation of the publicly vulnerable man?

And it strikes me that these new iterations of masculinity are very much parallel to the new iterations of womanhood that are sold to us in the kind of faux-empowerment marketing employed by the likes of Dove. That is, it’s co-opting gender justice and distorting it for the purpose of selling us shit.

Because these ideas about gender justice are by definition outsider ideas, there is no cultural authority in charge of them that can match the power of patriarchal culture’s mass media. And so Dove’s version of consumerist feminism and Axe’s version of consumerist feminist masculinity are not countered by any non- or anti-consumerist messages that come anywhere close to matching their power. Not everyone has been exposed to bell hooks—many more people have been exposed to Swiffer and Maybelline ads that frame their products as objects of empowerment. This makes it extremely difficult for your average person—who is not actively seeking out feminist communities and the ideas of feminist thinkers—to understand that gender justice might include anything beyond the milquetoast, feel-good version of feminism being marketed at them.
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  wearecorgfortheloveofbeets
  5/06/16 1:01pm
  That’s an interesting and important point. I hadn’t thought of capitalist co-opting of social justice messages in this way before.
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PaulDavisTheFirstStassa Edwards
5/06/16 3:18pm
The publicly vulnerable man isn’t exactly new. He is, unsurprisingly, an invention of the theater.

Total handwaving, with no citation or possible justification. You’re seriously claiming there was never a “publicly [sic] vulnerable man” before Shakespeare? Seriously?
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  AndromedidPaulDavisTheFirst
  5/06/16 5:47pm
  No, because the writer literally mentions Greek theater, which is about 2000 years older than Shakespeare....
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  Anneke OosterinkPaulDavisTheFirst
  5/07/16 4:30am
  My personal gripe is that Shakespeare “invented” words. No he didn’t. His audience wouldn’t be able to understand any of it if he did. He may have used some words in a new way, or used new and upcoming words that weren’t entrenched in the language yet, but invented all of them? No. Just because his works are the first where we find these words says more about how little we have from that period.
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