Kinja reply list

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AdjraAndy Cush
3/25/16 1:45pm
Oh my god, I can’t imagine the absolute horror of being accused of having an affair with Ted fucking Cruz on live national television
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  yvanehtniojAdjra
  3/25/16 1:46pm
  I feel like my immediate reaction would be projectile vomiting, which hopefully would clear my name.
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  Masshole JamesAdjra
  3/25/16 1:47pm
  Imagine the actual sex with Cruz. Two short (and I mean short) shoves inside you and he probably rolls over and goes to sleep. And the whole time you’ll be hoping to God his human skin mask doesn’t fall off.
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ThrumbolioAndy Cush
3/25/16 1:45pm
Annnnnnnd we’ve reached “fact-checking the Enquirer” levels of cultural depression.
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  TimF101Thrumbolio
  3/25/16 1:50pm
  Jon Edwards says hi. Sometimes the Enquirer nails em to the wall.
  
  You will know it’s probably bullshit when someone sues. If no one is willing to face discovery over a story this salacious then I would suggest hedging my bets that this guy will save the GOP in 2016.
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  FizzaaaaaaartzThrumbolio
  3/25/16 2:01pm
  Yeah, if Gawker is just repeating thinly veiled insinuations from the National Equirer, I might finally be done here.
  
  Of course, gratuitously outing a non-famous private citizen for no reason didn’t scare me off, so I guess this won’t either.
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yvanehtniojAndy Cush
3/25/16 1:45pm

Wait, is the lady on the far left Trump’s crazy “bullet necklace” spokesperson?

(Katrina Pierson, had to google.)
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  sausageyvanehtnioj
  3/25/16 1:54pm
  trump is showing himself to be a smarter politician than I gave him credit
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  igotwordsyvanehtnioj
  3/25/16 2:00pm
  Yup... and trust me, the bullet necklace is the least crazy thing about this woman.
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Icecold DavisAndy Cush
3/25/16 1:45pm
Honestly, I don’t see what the big problem is, anything that a woman does with a consenting adult blobfish in the privacy of her bedroom is really none of our business.
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  AdmiralAlonzoGhostPenis420YOLO!Icecold Davis
  3/25/16 1:59pm
  Assuming that Ted Cruz is indeed a blob fish (entirely plausible!), he would technically be unable to consent to intercourse with these five women. An investigation is underway.
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  Vitamin VIcecold Davis
  3/25/16 2:05pm
  I don’t think the women are the issue. But maybe it is I who have missed the point.
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portland1Andy Cush
3/25/16 1:45pm
I awaken today to a world in which everyone apparently things Cruz’s penis and its various penetrations and activities are worthy subjects of discourse.

I hate this world.
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  flamingolingoportland1
  3/25/16 2:04pm
  2016 has been a hell of a year so far and it’s only March!
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  Lance_the_Redportland1
  3/25/16 2:08pm
  Well... no one cared that he has sex with his wife. And no one would care if he were just a single playa and managed to score with a bunch of chicks. And really no one would care if he were just some married lawyer in Texas who had affairs with five (!) different women. (Though, the neighbors might talk!)
  
  The real issue is that Cruz is basically running as a fiscally hyper-conservative Evangelical Christian theocrat. As such, he invokes the Bible as an actual literal guide that informs him on how government should work and how humans should interact with one another. (I heard him speak in private once. He literally tried to argue that the Founders based our governmental system on a passage in Exodus. He added that when he tells the ‘liberal press’ this, it “blows their mind.” He’s fucking insane.)
  
  Given that his base is a bunch of Evangelical Christians— people who frown on serial philandering or, well, any sex outside of marriage— this story (if true!!) would be quite a big deal. So it’s not about “Oh man, Cruz was banging Trump’s hot spokeswoman!” it’s more about “Oh man, this guy who is married and campaigns on being all biblical and shit was actually running around on his wife with a bunch of campaign staffers, which seems like it could jeopardize his support among his base!”
  
  Less penis, more dick.
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Jonathon BoothAndy Cush
3/25/16 1:48pm
More than 7 more months of this everybody! Are you not entertained?!?
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  Vitamin VJonathon Booth
  3/25/16 2:13pm
  
  GIF
  
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  Jason SmithJonathon Booth
  3/25/16 2:54pm
  No. I am not entertained, I am scared. This is our political discourse. It is really really scary.
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Masshole JamesAndy Cush
3/25/16 1:45pm

GIF

GIF

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  BrwnskngurlMasshole James
  3/25/16 1:55pm
  Remind me what the hell Boris said to get Bill laughing to the point of tears?? Very funny gif
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  MinervaMasshole James
  3/25/16 1:56pm
  
  GIF
  
  GIF
  
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APissedAntAndy Cush
3/25/16 2:45pm
“I’m going to vote for Donald Trump because Ted Cruz may have cheated on his wife,” said no one, EVER.

I don’t understand the thought process behind this accusation.
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  IchabodPaddockAPissedAnt
  3/25/16 3:13pm
  It’s not about promoting Trump. It’s about destroying Cruz.
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  APissedAntIchabodPaddock
  3/25/16 3:31pm
  The choice is Ted Cruz or Donald Trump. It’s being heavily promoted by Donald Trump affiliates.
  
  There’s no “destruction.” There’s getting people to select one over the other, and this does not assist in that regard.
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igotwordsAndy Cush
3/25/16 2:17pm
So... At what point will the candidates begin putting their kids in a cage to fight random ferrel animals to show us who has the stronger blood line? Wake me up when that happens.
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  BIMming Itigotwords
  3/25/16 2:21pm
  Well, I don’t think they’re doing any more primary debates, so you’re probably out of luck.
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  igotwordsBIMming It
  3/25/16 2:23pm
  Aww... man. I’ve got a whole truck full of ‘Trump V. Cruz Animal Bowl 2016’ t-shirts to unload.
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clickSuckaAndy Cush
3/25/16 1:44pm

GIF

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