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    BrianDBobby Finger
    3/21/16 3:37pm

    my ex and i flew home to see her parents last year

    the week before she went to sasquatch festival with her friends

    so naturally she unknowingly smuggled a bag of blow onto our jet blue flight

    and then put it in her childhood dresser that her mom still uses for storage and forgot about it

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      bourbon.p.millerBrianD
      3/21/16 3:46pm

      My husband and I rented a car in Seattle a few weeks ago and drove it to Vancouver. It wasn't until we arrived that we realized the rental company forgot to clean out a bag of weed from the car, thereby creating drug mules out of us. The woman on the phone had the gall to ask if I still had it in my possession, as if I'd keep it in th car on my reentry into the US. No you idiot, we threw it on the ground in an elementary school parking lot!

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      BrianDbourbon.p.miller
      3/21/16 3:48pm

      This last sentence.

      NO WE DIDN’T WANT TO BREAK ANY MORE LAWS SO WE GAVE IT TO SOME PRETEENS INSTEAD

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    KatMarloweBobby Finger
    3/21/16 3:30pm

    Transporting 60 pounds of coke into L.A.? I guess someone didn’t tell her that Lindsay lives in London now.

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      NomNom83KatMarlowe
      3/21/16 3:58pm

      COTD!

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      KatMarloweNomNom83
      3/21/16 4:22pm
      GIF
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    MostlyKelp ( Now, you people get that oven, or die trying. You hear that, Stormy? DIE.)Bobby Finger
    3/21/16 3:30pm

    I’d love to do cocaine on a plane, I could get high and never come down.

    I’m just a Rock N Roll clown!

    Just kidding, I’m actually Pam Grier in Jackie Brown

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      Lana del GrayMostlyKelp ( Now, you people get that oven, or die trying. You hear that, Stormy? DIE.)
      3/21/16 3:48pm

      Can we highjack this post and make it about Jackie Brown instead?

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      MostlyKelp ( Now, you people get that oven, or die trying. You hear that, Stormy? DIE.)Lana del Gray
      3/21/16 3:51pm

      yes, yes. GO!

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    Masshole JamesBobby Finger
    3/21/16 3:39pm

    This poor flight attendant is probably scared and embarrassed but I hope she knows that when it comes to lady cocaine, it can always be worse.

    Man Dies After Eating Cocaine From His Brother’s Butt

    Jail doesn’t seem so bad now, huh?

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      MostlyKelp ( Now, you people get that oven, or die trying. You hear that, Stormy? DIE.)Masshole James
      3/21/16 3:56pm

      Unless you go to jail with this guy:

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      MimiLaRueMasshole James
      3/21/16 4:01pm

      Wait, what? Surely there was an easier way to extract the cocaine from his brother’s butt?

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    Rando CalrissianBobby Finger
    3/21/16 3:28pm

    Wow. And I thought graduate school was a mistake.

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      SaroRando Calrissian
      3/21/16 4:38pm

      I laughed, but I’m really feeling this right now.

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      kgeoRando Calrissian
      3/21/16 4:48pm

      It was. I’m trying for a graduate certificate in a related field so I can get out of research.

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    SqarrBobby Finger
    3/21/16 3:34pm

    Gucci shoes

    Girl, priorities. Come on!

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      DanceswithPeeps The Burner v2.1Sqarr
      3/22/16 5:53pm

      Those shoes are probably why she got picked for a random check.

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      SqarrDanceswithPeeps The Burner v2.1
      3/22/16 5:59pm

      Haha. Could be.

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    thorinbagginsBobby Finger
    3/21/16 3:46pm

    Damn, I can’t believe she almost got away with a 60 pound carry-on...

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      ChickendancerBobby Finger
      3/21/16 4:10pm

      I wonder if the TSA had a heads up about her since they “randomly” selected her and weren’t ‘LAX’ in screening her. (I'll see myself out for that dad joke.)

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        Slay.douché - (dreams to be a puppy)Chickendancer
        3/21/16 5:04pm

        Sounds like a Tarantino script plot point, that’s for sure.

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      NomNom83Bobby Finger
      3/21/16 3:59pm

      For real, though, what are the chances that she lives to see next Monday?

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        Mr. Ogre of the Atlantic Canadian Ogres, of course.Bobby Finger
        3/21/16 3:31pm

        *opens envelope* And the award for least effective drug mule goes to...

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