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    Cam/ronBrendan O'Connor
    3/08/16 8:04pm

    Probably this is why Tuesday’s press conference will also feature red and white wines from Trump Winery, as well as Trump Water.

    Gotta love how a man who refuses to drink has no qualms about selling booze with his name on it.

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      dieselectricCam/ron
      3/08/16 8:07pm

      Wait - what?? Drumpf is a teetotaller?

      I thought that heavy drinking possibly explained his erratic behavior. This changes everything.

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      highgiftCam/ron
      3/08/16 8:13pm

      I didn’t even know he had his own water. I went to the website. Of course, it’s one of “the cleanest, purest in the world.” Hyperbole-everything, I guess.

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    matt.maraBrendan O'Connor
    3/08/16 8:06pm

    It’s not going to be so much a press conference as some sort of sales event. Christ alive, is this thing going down inside a Costco/Sam’s Club/whatever-discount-store?

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      boaboaboatengtengtengmatt.mara
      3/08/16 8:15pm

      Hopefully they’ll have better samples than when I went to Costco today. Seaweed, the bad spinach-and-artichoke dip (you DO NOT put fucking jalapeños in that!), and more than a few products I can’t eat because of a nut allergy.

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      matt.maraboaboaboatengtengteng
      3/08/16 8:28pm

      I swear the god the best sample I’ve had at a store like that was a couple weeks ago at my local Sam’s Club. It was some kind of fish fillet crusted with parmesan, and it was fucking amazing. The next aisle over had free full-size Kind bars (the peanut butter and dark chocolate one was the bestest) and yogurt.

      The hot dog and soda combo for two bucks was gratuitous and unnecessary given the amount of food I ate as samples, but it’s like a tradition—go to Sam’s Club, get enormous hot dog with chili and a soda.

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    Beet ArthurBrendan O'Connor
    3/08/16 8:06pm

    This is it guys, this is when we find out this whole charade has been a promotional stunt for Trump’s online shopping site. You can buy all your steaks, champagne and white robes all in the same place! Free shipping over $100

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      Group B-raaaaaaaaaap!Beet Arthur
      3/08/16 8:10pm

      Worse yet, he may just be pulling the trigger on his greatest long con yet: all of America will now have to sit through an inescapable, high pressure time-share sales pitch for Trump properties!!

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      Dank UncleGroup B-raaaaaaaaaap!
      3/08/16 8:16pm

      that would be amazing actually

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    MEtheBarbarianBrendan O'Connor
    3/08/16 8:14pm

    Did they broil this meat and then grill? Were these cooked on a George Foreman grill? They look so disgustingly gray. Everything about the presentation and lighting makes these look so unappealing.

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      Shadow-ManMEtheBarbarian
      3/08/16 8:20pm

      Total pork-chop there. Might even be swine. Sad!

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      Tyrant BigglesMEtheBarbarian
      3/08/16 8:55pm

      Those grill marks looked painted on.

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    doodietangBrendan O'Connor
    3/08/16 8:06pm

    He’s literally serving red meat to the crowd.

    Bravo, you fucking crazy oompa loompa. Bravo.

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      reggieinatlBrendan O'Connor
      3/08/16 8:04pm

      I knew it. This whole campain was a big marketing plan to relaunch Trump Steaks.

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        Fanny O'Rearreggieinatl
        3/08/16 8:27pm

        Dear God, that thought is comforting. I’m alarmed that that’s comforting.

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      Mok, the Magic ManBrendan O'Connor
      3/08/16 8:01pm

      Well, we’ve officially entered the “dada” stage of the primary races.

      I am un CHIEN! ANDALUSIA!

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        Stephen Dowling BottsMok, the Magic Man
        3/08/16 8:24pm

        Ceci n’est pas une campaign.

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        flamingolingoStephen Dowling Botts
        3/08/16 9:26pm

        This is my new favorite comment about Trump’s presidential run. It needs to be worked into a t-shirt.

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      lobstrBrendan O'Connor
      3/08/16 8:36pm

      Ooo, hoo hoo, they got out the default script font to further highlight the 5-star gourmet status!

      (...And does this mean that there are 1-star gourmet steaks on the Gourmet Star Scale?)

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        WanderingScoutlobstr
        3/08/16 9:33pm

        Who the fuck advertises their steaks by presenting them cooked Medium Well? Ugh.

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        BIMming ItWanderingScout
        3/09/16 12:22pm

        A fucking monster, that’s who!

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      lobstrBrendan O'Connor
      3/08/16 8:42pm

      Q: What’s Donald Trump Doing with all this Meat?

      A:

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        Sid and FinancyBrendan O'Connor
        3/08/16 8:29pm

        “Trump Steaks are the world’s greatest steaks, and I mean that in every sense of the word,” Mr. Trump said in a promotional video at the time.

        Which word, though?

        Greatest?

        1. a. Very large in size, extent, or intensity: a great pile of rubble; a great storm.

        b. Of a larger size than other, similar forms: the great anteater.

        c. Large in quantity or number: A great throng awaited us.

        d. Extensive in time or distance: a great delay; a great way off.

        “These steaks are the most extensive steaks in time and distance money can buy! They are as yuuge as a giant pile of rubble!”

        Steak?

        1. A slice of meat, typically beef, usually cut thick and across the muscle grain and served broiled or fried.

        2. A thick slice of a large fish cut across the body.

        3. A patty of ground meat broiled or fried.

        “These are the greatest thick cuts of pork, fish and/or ground beef you’ve ever seen!”

        World?

        1. a. The earth, especially together with the life it supports: a chemical found all over the world; an ecological disaster that could threaten the entire world.

        b. The universe: how the ancients conceived the world.

        2. a. Humankind considered as social beings; human society: turned her back on the world.

        b. People as a whole; the public: The event amazed the world.

        “TRUMP STEAKS ARE PEOPLE!”

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