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    Adrastra predicts "Low Key" title for Taylor's new albumJE Reich
    3/06/16 3:52pm

    “Ted Cruz? An inspiration to every kid in America who worries that he’ll never be able to run for president because nobody likes him. He’s running. And look, I told Barack, if you really, really want to remake the Supreme Court, nominate Cruz. Before you know it, you’ll have eight vacancies.”

    FUCKING OBLITERATED.

    Donald has attacked every person of color – except John Boehner.

    GIF
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      Masshole JamesAdrastra predicts "Low Key" title for Taylor's new album
      3/06/16 4:04pm

      Why is he not running? Why??!! He would have made the perfect compromise candidate between Hillary and Bernie, at least in my head.

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      I'm Fart and I'm SmunnyMasshole James
      3/06/16 4:18pm

      The one qualm I had with him was his treatment of Anita Hill, but now that he has made sexual assault on campuses one of his main issues, I feel like he is trying to make up for it, so I would have loved for him to run. I totally get why he didn’t though, it would have been difficult to campaign like that right after his son died.

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    LincolnJE Reich
    3/06/16 3:44pm

    Ted Cruz as the kid nobody liked in school is the most apt description of him I've ever read.

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      DerbyDuck42Lincoln
      3/06/16 3:50pm

      I went to school with kids like Ted Cruz. Yes, nobody liked him in reality, but in his own world he was BMOC because he decided to see his classmates’ avoidance as quiet, kow-towing respect.

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      MooseyDeersLincoln
      3/06/16 3:50pm

      There have been A LOT of articles about just this. How nobody at (was it Harvard?) liked him. The ones with his old roommate are especially worth checking out.

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    LibraryanneagainJE Reich
    3/06/16 3:51pm

    I am going to miss this presidential team so very, very much.

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      stoprobbersLibraryanneagain
      3/06/16 4:05pm

      Amen to that. Can Joe just keep being VP? I’d let him be VP for the next forever.

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      Slay.douché - (dreams to be a puppy)stoprobbers
      3/06/16 4:12pm

      There aren’t any VP limits, are there?

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    MotherOfUnicorns will only call Trump Cheeto JesusJE Reich
    3/06/16 3:46pm

    And look, I told Barack, if you really, really want to remake the Supreme Court, nominate Cruz. Before you know it, you’ll have eight vacancies.

    Dead.

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      MyExwifeisAmishMotherOfUnicorns will only call Trump Cheeto Jesus
      3/06/16 4:26pm

      A great line.

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      Superbad ZombieMotherOfUnicorns will only call Trump Cheeto Jesus
      3/06/16 6:52pm

      You can almost hear the faint sound of a drum roll after every quip.

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    accesscodeJE Reich
    3/06/16 3:39pm

    I hope there were finger guns. He’s best when he adds in some finger guns.

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      Adrastra predicts "Low Key" title for Taylor's new albumaccesscode
      3/06/16 3:53pm
      GIF
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      Slay.douché - (dreams to be a puppy)Adrastra predicts "Low Key" title for Taylor's new album
      3/06/16 4:10pm

      pyeww pyeww

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    DerbyDuck42JE Reich
    3/06/16 3:43pm
    Donald has attacked every person of color – except John Boehner.

    I’mma suspend disbelief a bit and decide that Joe Biden came up with this himself.

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      ThatFatScatCatDerbyDuck42
      3/06/16 4:20pm

      I’m with you. Ghost written or not, Joe fucking killed it. And he’s the type of guy I can see cracking wise like that in meetings, anyway.

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      GELLA - LLAPDerbyDuck42
      3/06/16 5:41pm
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    Caitie2187JE Reich
    3/06/16 3:46pm

    These are true gems. I know Biden didn’t write them himself, but they are just so Joe.

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      Slay.douché - (dreams to be a puppy)Caitie2187
      3/06/16 4:15pm

      Maybe he reached out to Jon Stewart?

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      I'm Fart and I'm SmunnySlay.douché - (dreams to be a puppy)
      3/06/16 4:21pm

      These do sound like Stewart. His presence is seriously missed during this election. *Sigh* John Oliver is the closest thing I have to his perfect combo of being hilarious and explaining issues sooooo in-depth and yet so easy to understand. *Double sigh*

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    32_FootstepsJE Reich
    3/06/16 3:57pm

    Whoa. I mean, I know better than to fuck with Diamond Joe, but I need burn cream for myself after reading that.

    Hey, ain’t no rule against it - Hillary, Bernie, when the time comes, pick Biden for veep. You both know how good of an idea it is.

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      Poodletime32_Footsteps
      3/06/16 4:30pm

      It really is!

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      thundercatsarego32_Footsteps
      3/06/16 4:39pm

      I am all for naming Joe Biden as Vice President in perpetuity for all subsequent Democratic presidents. We could call him the vice president emeritus or something. Uncle Joe for-evah!

      Also, that was a vicious Ted Cruz burn.

      GIF
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    stoprobbersJE Reich
    3/06/16 4:03pm

    OH MY GOD.

    Oh, Uncle Joe, please just keep cracking jokes for the rest of the year, you are already my sole link to sanity.

    This is brilliant. B R I L L I A N T. You go, Uncle Joe.

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      bonnismournedinterruptedorgasmstoprobbers
      3/06/16 4:14pm

      is he really on snapchat!?

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      stoprobbersbonnismournedinterruptedorgasm
      3/06/16 4:28pm

      I have no idea, *I’m* not even on Snapchat. My phone’s complicated enough as it is.

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    Slay.douché - (dreams to be a puppy)JE Reich
    3/06/16 4:08pm

    “Donald has attacked every person of color – except John Boehner.”

    Isn’t that because they both have orange-ish Oompa-Loompa ancestors?

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      PoodletimeSlay.douché - (dreams to be a puppy)
      3/06/16 4:31pm

      Oh my God. That totally explains it. EEEEKKKK!

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      anathemadevicetwopointohSlay.douché - (dreams to be a puppy)
      3/06/16 10:58pm

      Yep. My first thought as well.

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