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    clockworkandcameosTracy Moore
    3/05/16 1:22pm

    So I’m a teacher and my brief time on tinder was spent matching with guys who had crazy teacher fetishes.

    I went on a handful of dates with different guys. No lie, more than one guy brought me an apple on the first date.

    The first time I seriously didn’t understand why this weird guy handed me an apple on our date. I texted my friend about it and she responded, “you moron, it’s because you’re a teacher!”

    Yes I’m the moron because I couldn’t understand why a guy would hand me an apple instead of like flowers or something on a date.

    The men thought they were being so clever too.

    They should update their list of what women will find adorable to say teachers today prefer Dunkin donuts gift cards over apples.

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      JeffersonMurderclockworkandcameos
      3/05/16 1:33pm

      No lie, more than one guy brought me an apple on the first date.

      How are you matching with dudes from like the 1800s or whatever?

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      clockworkandcameosJeffersonMurder
      3/05/16 1:40pm

      Yeah, seriously no idea. I used to fall for that “I’m a nice guy!” Nonsense. Then I learned that men who are truly nice don’t feel the need to advertise it constantly because they are just nice. Their actions speak for themselves.

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    GELLA - LLAPTracy Moore
    3/05/16 1:10pm

    not on a list, not on a list.....takes off dorky glasses, puts away calculator, takes off pocket protector, retreats into dark corner......single forever

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      randilynisFINDILYNGELLA - LLAP
      3/05/16 1:12pm

      You’re on my list, kinder.

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      GELLA - LLAPrandilynisFINDILYN
      3/05/16 1:14pm

      swipes randilyn to the right, to the right...it’s a match

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    Octopit didn't choose the burrito life, the burrito life chose octopit.Tracy Moore
    3/05/16 1:13pm

    I only date custodians. I have a mop fetish.

    Also it is always good to have someone who cleans up for a living when your murderous rampage gets messy. And if they aren’t willing to help that is how you know that they aren’t your ride or die. Disappointing, but at least you know and can take care of that situation. What’s a little more mess?

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      HijabiRockstarOctopit didn't choose the burrito life, the burrito life chose octopit.
      3/05/16 1:23pm

      “She’s a murderous psychopath, he’s a custodian for a major crime syndicate. But can their love survive these waaacky hijinks!?

      Tonight, on Showtime: The Cleaner!”

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      Slay.douché - (dreams to be a puppy)Octopit didn't choose the burrito life, the burrito life chose octopit.
      3/05/16 1:26pm

      You ever find anyone *faking their custodian status*?
      (to clean up on all that archetypal, gilded mop-wielding action)

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    EldritchTracy Moore
    3/05/16 1:02pm

    Yeah! My profession isn’t on there! I’m unsexy!

    Wait...

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      randilynisFINDILYNEldritch
      3/05/16 1:08pm

      “I’m too sexy for my job...”

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      Selena MacIntoshEldritch
      3/05/16 1:15pm

      Mine either.

      Fantasy: Hacks a pair of tickets to Paris on a whim.
      Reality: Asks if you’ve tried turning it off and back on again during equipment failures.

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    Slay.douché - (dreams to be a puppy)Tracy Moore
    3/05/16 1:14pm

    If only there were a Tinder for quirky *smart people*, with insight + empathy, who read and human more than they mirrorgaze + treadmill?

    (Nerdlr?)

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      GELLA - LLAPSlay.douché - (dreams to be a puppy)
      3/05/16 1:17pm

      lets create one.

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      AnnaSlay.douché - (dreams to be a puppy)
      3/05/16 1:25pm

      Fantasy: Exactly what you’re looking for

      Reality: http://jezebel.com/the-quirky-ver…

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    UmeboshayyTracy Moore
    3/05/16 1:29pm

    I guess my profession is on here (entrepreneur). I own a food business and during the time I tried dating apps, I was inundated. I had been a lawyer before and never had much luck finding men who were into that but once I became a business owner, not just any business, a FOOD business, men lost their minds. Most messages just grilled me about my business and then imagined what I would cook for them on our date. It was such a turnoff, I quit dating apps and won’t go back. I am Indian/Singaporean so I’ve had my looks fetishized my whole life by men who loved the “exotic” look and now my career choice gets fetishized men who are looking for a good little wifey. What I’ve learned is to avoid anyone who’s eyes light up like Christmas when they hear what I do like “ooooh goody, how can I benefit from this?” Its gross but men are more attracted to me now that I have a career in food because they think it means I live to wait hand and foot on them. Like no, me having a business that sells food products does not mean I want to be your mommy, I’m not sure where you would get that idea from. I dunno. There’s got to be something really engrained in the culture about women who cook because I’ve never been more sexually harassed by men until I made my career change. I can’t even tell guys in the dog park what I do for a living because they all start in “ho ho, you can’t tell us things like that, you’ll have us leaving our wives!” Like dudes. I made a chocolate bar. Please try not to splooge in your chinos.

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      ThereIsNoFluffyUmeboshayy
      3/05/16 2:05pm

      I used to be a chef. I never, ever bring it up. If you ask “So when are you cooking for me?” the answer is “Never.” Plus so many assholes thought a great first date would be for me to come over to their home and cook for them. So much WTF.

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      missqueenbitchUmeboshayy
      3/05/16 2:18pm

      Ugh, I’m really sorry. If anything, I’d think you would be exhausted from your work and would want to spend some time away from it, but these guys have no ability to put themselves in your shoes, by the sounds of it. My ex would ask me to edit his job applications when we were together, and I would sometimes, and even after we broke up he tried to get my help writing things, unsuccessfully, because I’m an editor. But now that I’m back on the market no one has asked me to help them with things like that, thank Rihanna. Being in the food business is much harder though because eating is so social and it’s harder to avoid questions like that.

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    BobTracy Moore
    3/05/16 3:40pm

    Let’s talk about how you have to get to #6 on the guy list before you get to someone who isn’t lying. It’s not that there aren’t pilots and firemen in the world, but the dude on Tinder is lying.

    Actual list:
    #1 Pilot = Lying
    #2 Founder / Entrepreneur = Unemployed
    #3 Fireman = Lying
    #4 Doctor = Probably lying
    #5 TV Personality = Unemployed
    #6 Teacher = real human
    #7 Engineer = this is mostly a weird code word for “code geek” but nonetheless real human with a job and everything
    #8 Model = unemployed
    #9 Paramedic = probably lying
    #10 College student = unemployed but at least not lying about it

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      Oil RainbowsBob
      3/06/16 5:10pm

      The firefighter is a volunteer fireman who works at the local country deli and is redneck-y.

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      DBDooBob
      3/07/16 1:19am

      Yep, just like 99% of the widowed architects on dating websites are Nigerian scammers. As I get older the likelihood of them actually being widowers increases, but if they’re under 60 chances are pretty high they’re either scammers or Scott Peterson.

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    token_liberalTracy Moore
    3/05/16 1:24pm

    What, IT workers aren’t considered sexy? Let’s see that pilot or physical therapist fix your wifi for you.

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      GELLA - LLAPtoken_liberal
      3/05/16 1:40pm
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      ColonialSaabtoken_liberal
      3/05/16 1:47pm

      Fo realz. Back in the day, it was “hunt down sabre-tooth tiger”. Now it is 192.168.1.1

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    lunchcomaTracy Moore
    3/05/16 2:04pm

    Firefighters and paramedics have terrible hours. This is great if you have the time and the inclination to hook up in the middle of the afternoon on a Tuesday. It can be a real pain in the ass if you’re looking to date.

    Unless a founder/entrepreneur says what their company does, assume it’s either in the daydreaming stages or that it’s a multi-level marketing scheme.

    I don’t know how lawyer managed to make #11, and I am one.

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      Rooo sez BISH PLZlunchcoma
      3/05/16 2:46pm

      It made #11 on the boys’ side.

      It doesn’t even show up on the girls’ side.

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      SquirmishesRooo sez BISH PLZ
      3/05/16 5:30pm

      my best friend is a lady lawyer and easily the sexiest person I’ve ever met

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    DiadochokinesisTracy Moore
    3/05/16 2:20pm

    I'm a Speech-Language Pathologist. Half the time, people don't understand what I do or they think I work in the schools. I was working in a hospital when I met my husband and specialized in swallowing disorders. There were lots of jokes about that one.

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      Cocopop!Diadochokinesis
      3/05/16 2:50pm

      I understand what you do! Well, I understand what school-based SLP’s do. It’s amazing to me that you study everything from language to fluency and articulation to swallowing. You guys are awesome. :)

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      DiadochokinesisCocopop!
      3/06/16 8:51am

      Thank you! Most people just say, “I saw one because I couldn’t say my /s/!” I see a lot of peds now because of where I live but I love my neuro and swallowing patients.

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