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    LetsgobowlingHamilton Nolan
    2/24/16 9:17am

    Stop spreading fear. This is an important conservation project for a very endangered endangered species of snake, and the island they’ll be on is uninhabited with very little human encroachment. Also, rattlesnakes are extremely shy and don’t attack unless some asshole tries to poke them. Finally, there hasn’t been a death by rattlesnake in Massachusetts since colonial times. Most local residents dropped their opposition when they learned the facts.

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      BoterLetsgobowling
      2/24/16 9:24am

      butbutbut clicks

      I clicked hoping there’d be an article on why it was being done. But no, just a dumb ophidiophobic* list.

      *Yes, I had to look it up. Wasn’t as obvious a term as I was hoping.

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      GloriousCOLetsgobowling
      2/24/16 9:25am

      You're telling Hamilton Nolan to stop spreading fear? Have you read much of his stuff?

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    Sean BrodyHamilton Nolan
    2/24/16 9:09am

    Some friends just opened a pub in Orange, MA (a mere slither away from this island of death).
    So I could realistically get bitten by a deadly snake while poisoning myself with alcohol.
    I’ll try and see the funny side.

    poisonous rattlesnakes

    I think we’re supposed to say venomous btw

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      Mes PenséesSean Brody
      2/24/16 9:12am

      Poisonous if you eat the venom.

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      dwarfgoatSean Brody
      2/24/16 9:14am

      Why, oh why do I love me some good pedantry? :-)

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    j4x_Hamilton Nolan
    2/24/16 9:09am

    As a resident of New England, I can attest that my fellow citizens will in no way overreact with their typical WASP\NIMBY nonsense to this proposal.

    I also expect very few references to Samuel Jackson in the posts.

    GIF
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      Sid and Financyj4x_
      2/24/16 9:11am

      To be fair, they want to get the motherfucking snakes out of Jamaica motherfucking Plain.

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      Sean Brodyj4x_
      2/24/16 9:20am

      State wildlife officials are asking the public to “calm down about the snakes” following plans to use an uninhabited, off-limits island in the Quabbin Reservoir to create a protected habitat for timber rattlesnakes.

      This, my friends, is socialism.

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    Sid and FinancyHamilton Nolan
    2/24/16 9:12am

    The Irish in Boston are taking the St. Patrick worship too far this time.

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      Unabashed AppliantologistSid and Financy
      2/24/16 9:18am

      I figured this was just an elaborate plan to bring back Whacking day.

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    PeppermintHamilton Nolan
    2/24/16 9:13am

    To make things worse, these are the Don’t Tread On Me snake.

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      Roll with the SquanchesPeppermint
      2/24/16 9:53am

      Hey, it’s not the Gadsden’s fault the concept has been bastardized into oblivion.

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    Sanders-Beats-Trump-In-The-GeneralHamilton Nolan
    2/24/16 9:12am

    I grew up in Brookline and rattlers were always an issue. Bunch of my friends got bit and one lost a leg. Another almost died. I remember packing a colt .38 filled with snake shot every time I walked to Coolidge Corner, where you’d see the most rattlers. Thank god they’re finally putting all these rattlers on their own island.

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      ChuckBarrisDanceAcademySanders-Beats-Trump-In-The-General
      2/24/16 9:58am

      I got jumped by a bunch of rattlers around Cleveland Circle late at night. I think they were high on angel dust. Gotta watch yourself.

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    1llamarampage will write againHamilton Nolan
    2/24/16 9:09am

    If Trump becomes President, I volunteer to go live on the rattlesnake island. I will even consent to leaving all my shoes behind, and go barefoot among the vipers.

    I don’t think it’s going to happen, but if it does, it would be nice to have a backup plan.

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      robertogreenHamilton Nolan
      2/24/16 12:07pm

      the quabbin is a super-weird place. i lived in a town called new salem mass for a moment when i was 15, and the road i lived on ended...or sort of just kept going...into the quabbin. lots of dirt roads do there, and if it’s late at night and you are drunk you could easily just drive right in.

      it was once the quabbin river, and when it was made into a reservoir in the 30s lots of houses (and, possibly apocryphally, some people) were drowned when all was said and done. the whole area is creepy and makes you wonder if H.P. Lovecraft wasn’t summering there.

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        Mike Kekich Fan ClubHamilton Nolan
        2/24/16 2:07pm

        So I clicked on to the Guardian story, and it made me feel slightly guilty for thinking this was a horrible, horrible idea — it is, after all, a good-faith conservation measure. But then when I scrolled down and saw the “related content” section, it was just a plethora of incredibly scary snake articles, and now I want to kill all snakes, everywhere.

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          Cam/ronHamilton Nolan
          2/24/16 9:42am

          Rattlesnakes with thick Southie accents. Now that’s genuinely scary.

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            JukeboxHoboCam/ron
            2/24/16 10:32am

            If you hear what sounds like four or five Sam Adams cans clinking together, WATCH OUT.

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