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    IAmNotADamnWriterAndy Cush
    2/19/16 1:17pm

    I wanna see this kid’s hoverboard catch fire and burn him to a crisp.

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      EvenBaggierTrousers4IAmNotADamnWriter
      2/19/16 1:46pm

      Considering the high fat content, that fire should burn for weeks if left unattended.

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      GeorgeHaydukeIAmNotADamnWriter
      2/19/16 2:25pm

      This is probably a perfect example of how the rest of the world views us. This and Duck Dynasty, of course.

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    CommonVicesAndy Cush
    2/19/16 12:40pm

    One of these days, they’re going to come for our guns, too.

    If the manufacturers wanted to ensure that hoverboards would always be available to the American consumer, they should have designed them to kill and maim people intentionally, not accidentally.

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      opiumsmabytchCommonVices
      2/19/16 1:59pm

      Miniguns on the sides. Grenade launcher on the underside....

      Let’s Mad Max these suckers....

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    Ray FosseAndy Cush
    2/19/16 12:51pm

    “I’ve been around hoverboards my whole life. My daddy had hoverboards. I got my first one when I was nine years old, and Daddy taught me how to properly use and store it in the house. My kids know how to handle a hoverboard. And I ain’t about to let a mightier-than-thou Liberal come after MY hoverboard because some jackass with no common sense got hurt while he was using one!” - Fat guy wearing a camouflage cap being interviewed on the news.

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      spleenspleenRay Fosse
      2/19/16 1:22pm

      a good man with a hoverboard is the only thing that can stop a bad man with a hover board.

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      Mike HawkRay Fosse
      2/19/16 1:39pm

      If only they had more hoverboards. So sad. FREEDUM.

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    IAMBlastedBiggsLostBurnerAndy Cush
    2/19/16 1:16pm

    But it’s not a, uh, you know...hoverboard. “Hoverboards”, by their very nature are supposed to, well, hover. It’s just not correct nomenclature. But still:

    YOU CAN HAVE MY HOVERBOARD WHEN YOU PRY IT OFF MY COLD, LIFELESS FEET....ONCE YOU GET THEM OUT OF THE SHOES THEY'RE IN....AND PROBABLY THE SOCKS, TOO. I DON'T REALLY LIKE SHOES WITHOUT SOCKS. THEY GET ALL SWEATY AND CLAMMY, YOU UNDERSTAND....

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      northbxIAMBlastedBiggsLostBurner
      2/19/16 3:14pm

      Electrical fires are a great way to dry out sweaty feet. But peeling your melted polyester socks off the charred remains of your feet, now that will take some skill.

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      IAMBlastedBiggsLostBurnernorthbx
      2/19/16 3:31pm

      EXCELLENT IDEA! Skin grows back, right? Eventually?

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    gramercypoliceAndy Cush
    2/19/16 12:48pm

    Shoot! I was just getting the hang of shovering.

    GIF
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      Tucker973gramercypolice
      2/19/16 2:15pm

      Is the fourth frame the kid lying on the ground with a growing pool of blood flowing from the back of the head?

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      gramercypoliceTucker973
      2/19/16 2:18pm

      Only gizmodo knows.

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    norbiznessAndy Cush
    2/19/16 12:49pm

    Also coming down the pike is a ruling from the Federal Trade Commission that, under truth-in-advertising laws, “Hover Bikes” must be more than ordinary bikes suspended by ropes with sound effects provided by Ned Flanders whistling through a comb.

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      phunkshunAndy Cush
      2/19/16 1:09pm

      Biraq Obamesopotamia

      This. This is magic.

      I don’t even give a shit about the content. This makes it all worthwhile.

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        blameitonthecroutons goodbye tourAndy Cush
        2/19/16 12:39pm

        OVER MY BURNED DOWN HOUSE!

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          IanAndy Cush
          2/19/16 12:38pm

          Unfortunately, this will put a lot of Russian mall kiosk workers a few dollars back for awhile...

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            NicoIan
            2/19/16 3:53pm

            I can’t go to the mall, those men could sell me anything.

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          Mike HawkAndy Cush
          2/19/16 1:38pm

          THEY DON’T HOVER, GODDAMIT.

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