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    SpringSprungAshley Feinberg
    2/18/16 9:34am

    If Heidi finally couldn’t take it anymore and joined ISIS, I don’t think there would be a single person to condemn her.

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      neuroradical4SpringSprung
      2/18/16 9:36am

      My money is on either Heidi Cruz or Jeb Bush to be the first mass shooter in American history directly tied to a presidential campaign

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      VtDkDudeSpringSprung
      2/18/16 9:40am

      OMG, true. I was at a party with a dude sorta like Cruz this weekend. He was super jazzed that Scalia had just died. Like way too excited. He had that same weird smart but off-putting vibe that Cruz has where he is just not likable no matter how hard he tried. And boy did he try...

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    The_Hooligan_HoulihanAshley Feinberg
    2/18/16 9:45am

    “...human flesh mask...”
    Can we really call this clown a Human?
    At best he is the cartoonish form of a young Mr. Burns from the Simpsons. At worst, a ghoulish representation of pure greed and stupidity.

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      Ashley FeinbergThe_Hooligan_Houlihan
      2/18/16 9:59am

      To be fair I said he is wearing a human not that he necessarily is one.

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      Archer>PicardThe_Hooligan_Houlihan
      2/18/16 10:07am

      I’d call him a Thin Man, but neither of those words applies to Ted Cruz.

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    norbiznessAshley Feinberg
    2/18/16 9:35am

    “And just like my hero, Dutch Reagan, I call my wife ‘Mommy’”

    (entire planet shudders in creeped-out spasm, ends biological life)

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      Trumpadumpnorbizness
      2/18/16 9:40am

      If Reagan were still alive he would probably have to file for a restraining order. Dude is obsessed and would wear reagans skin if he could.

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      Ersonorbizness
      2/18/16 9:50am

      He did not say that? Please?

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    ArturoAshley Feinberg
    2/18/16 9:37am

    Reporter: “Mrs. Cruz, why do you hate America?”
    Heidi Cruz: “Because some of its residents think my husband would make a good President.”

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      GeorgeGeoffersonLivesAshley Feinberg
      2/18/16 10:10am

      Hell, she married into it. We’ve seen the tape of him as a teen; he was shit from way-back-when. She knew what she was getting into. I won’t even pretend to feign pity for this woman.

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        flamingolingoGeorgeGeoffersonLives
        2/18/16 10:43am

        Same. Heidi Cruz probably shares Ted’s odious beliefs but she isn’t interested in the spotlight so she’s not trumpeting them like he does. It’s rare for people with significantly different beliefs to remain married for so long.

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        TakahashiGeorgeGeoffersonLives
        2/18/16 10:45am

        Eh I’m not so sure. Lots of people mistake arrogance for competence. Look at Steve Jobs. I’ll cut her slack for that. Besides I bet he was a quarter of the asshole he is now when she met him.

        Hey body language and facial expressions tell me this ain’t what she thought he’d turn out to be.

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      Sid and FinancyAshley Feinberg
      2/18/16 9:41am

      On the plus side for Heidi, unlike Iowans, the people of South Carolina are redolent of magnolias, sweet tea and pleasant-mannered racism.

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        FishMittenSid and Financy
        2/18/16 9:51am

        What, rather than an Iowan’s bacon, buttermilk, and never having seen a minority?

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        GeorgeGeoffersonLivesSid and Financy
        2/18/16 10:11am

        Only on the coast, love. Only on the coast. You go a mile in and it’s Deliverance.

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      HellephantAshley Feinberg
      2/18/16 9:36am

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        3DCompleteHellephant
        2/18/16 10:10am

        That got scary quick.

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        BusPassTrollop curls up and diesHellephant
        2/18/16 10:17am

        that reminds me of a super deluxe video

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      Flying Squid (I hate me more than you do.)Ashley Feinberg
      2/18/16 9:37am

      THAT IS NOT HOW THAT SONG GOES!

      You can be off key BUT AT LEAST GET THE FUCKING LYRICS RIGHT!

      It’s a Lionel Ritchie Stevie Wonder* song and it’s been played everywhere a bajillion times.

      Christ, I thought I already hated Ted Cruz...

      * ETA: I blame my medication!

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        queequegFlying Squid (I hate me more than you do.)
        2/18/16 9:46am

        No, no that's so embarrassing, please don't make me sing . . .well, if you insist.

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      Yuppie ScumAshley Feinberg
      2/18/16 9:51am

      I wonder if he has to routinely convince her and reassure her that she needs to be his wife.

      “Don’t you want to be married to the president someday?”

      “... Yes...”

      “Then why don’t you come back from that ledge and join me on the couch?”

      /shudder

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        2016Yuppie Scum
        2/18/16 10:03am

        So he sings Lionel Richie song, my goodness he really has to reassure that cold bitch that they both deserve each other.

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        Max ContrarianYuppie Scum
        2/18/16 10:06am

        The walk down the aisle was agonizing slow motion as the grimace-smiling flesh mask grew closer. She swallowed a mouthful of bile and lipstick residue and reminded herself as she took another silver heeled step towards the White House: I made this choice.

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      jasoneliasAshley Feinberg
      2/18/16 9:43am

      This sounds like the tuneless warbling your captor does when he’s got you tied up in his basement.

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        Cardinal Fangjasonelias
        2/18/16 9:56am

        It sings the harmony, or it gets the hose.

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        Sktroopjasonelias
        2/18/16 10:11am

        If Ted starts singing “Stuck In The Middle With You” it’s time to worry.

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