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    Munchintowok-by-proxyAshley Feinberg
    2/09/16 11:20am

    I’m no fan of Rubio, but I think he froze. I’ve seen him answer off the cuff before, and he’s a pretty skilled orator. But, in the case of the recent debate, what happened appeared to have more to do with an emotional overload than him simply being thrown off script by Christie’s remarks.

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      whatastorymarkMunchintowok-by-proxy
      2/09/16 11:22am

      This is definitely a pattern. The first time Rubio speaks, he comes across as a gifted speaker. However, the more you’re exposed to him, the more it’s apparent that he basically just recites whatever talking points his advisers give him. I’m not even sure he understands what he’s saying.It’s only an issue now because Christie rightfully pointed out the pattern, and then Rubio fell into his trap.

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      UpcareMunchintowok-by-proxy
      2/09/16 11:26am

      You just called Marco “Just-a-Quick-Gulp” Rubio a “skilled orator.”

      Either you don’t know what either of those two words mean, or you’re a damned funny person.

      I’m going with option two, you wag you.

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    GeorgeGeoffersonLivesAshley Feinberg
    2/09/16 11:11am
    GIF
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      puncha yo bunsGeorgeGeoffersonLives
      2/09/16 11:12am

      It’s literally the funniest shit I’m gonna see this week, I COULDN’T BREATHE. GASPING.

      GIF
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      TopherGeorgeGeoffersonLives
      2/09/16 11:12am
      GIF
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    Masshole JamesAshley Feinberg
    2/09/16 11:19am

    Last week I was terrified he was gonna be President. This week I’m terrified our first gay robot presidential candidate won’t last beyond New Hampshire because I don’t want this amazingness to stop...best election year, ever!

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      JohnTChanceMasshole James
      2/09/16 11:37am

      Same with you about being terrified that he’d be unbeatable if he were the nominee, especially against Sanders. Not so sure now. But what might be even worse is if Katich actually does surprise in NH, and he starts to consolidate establishment support. He’d be even more terrifying than Rubio, even for Clinton,and no way does Sanders beat him in a general.

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      Masshole JamesJohnTChance
      2/09/16 11:39am

      I agree. Kasich and Christie would be scary in the general. Imagine Christie on a debate stage with Hillary: He would destroy her. He’s funny, saracastic and a total prick. And he’ll get a lot of votes as a “truth teller”. Let’s hope the nutty GOP voters overlook them both.

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    toscatiosiAshley Feinberg
    2/09/16 11:12am

    This country is seriously being punked. Maybe Obama is the Antichrist and he has taken over the world and we just don’t know it because we’re all focused on this hilarious crapshow of a presidential race. If that IS the case, I am all for it.

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      GeorgeGeoffersonLivestoscatiosi
      2/09/16 11:15am

      I, for one, welcome our Satanic overlord. All hail O-BAH-MAH.

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      eadingastoscatiosi
      2/09/16 11:22am

      Do you think/hope that come November Obama will announce “due to lack of serious candidates, this political process is postponed until both parties get their shit together”?

      Elections should come with the same warning as eBay transactions: “no jokers or time-wasters”.

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    Sid and FinancyAshley Feinberg
    2/09/16 11:20am

    Mr. Roboto, campaigning in the New Hampshire Styx.

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      burlivesleftnutSid and Financy
      2/09/16 11:28am

      lol

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      Johnny Chundersburlivesleftnut
      2/09/16 11:31am

      If you giggle then ur an old.

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    noodlesinthefaceAshley Feinberg
    2/09/16 11:13am

    Let’s dispel with the fiction that Marco Rubio is a robot. He is not a robot. He is made of flesh and blood that he obtained from stray children.

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      Squadaloonoodlesintheface
      2/09/16 11:16am

      And while we’re at it, let’s dispel with the fiction that Marco Rubio is a robot.

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      noodlesinthefaceSquadaloo
      2/09/16 11:21am

      Let’s dispel with the fiction that Marco Rubio’s titanium endoskeleton was made in China. It was not. It was made here in the United States of America by our great middle class.

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    OMG!PONIES!Ashley Feinberg
    2/09/16 11:45am

    Greetings, human voters of New Hampshire 2016.

    I, Arnold Schwarzenegger, wish to endorse fellow cybernetic organism Marco Rubio for the human GOP nomination. I was sent back in time by John Connor, the leader of the human Resistance.

    On October 11th, Skynet goes online. It immediately infiltrates all electronic voting machines. Skynet begins campaigning at an exponential rate. On November 8th, 2016, Skynet alters the election returns, giving Donald Trump 116% of the popular vote. Donald Trump declares himself a “YOOOOOOOOJE winner.”

    January 20th, 2017, Donald Trump is inaugurated as President. On January 21st, 2017, President Trump launches nuclear missiles at Russia and China. They immediately retaliate by launching nuclear weapons at all major metropolitan areas. It is called Judgment Day; over 3 billion humans die in the ensuing nuclear exchange and fallout.

    Only Rubio can prevent this. He has detailed files on human anatomy and behavioral patterns, and a solid plan for moving the United States of 2016 forward.

    He is a T-150 Cyberdyne Candidate. He is organic matter over a metal alloy endoskeleton and is designed for infiltration and legislation and/or leadership. His biological components are designed to heal at an accelerated rate.

    He features a neural network processor which helps him master key talking points. He will most likely try to reacquire delegates in Concord or other downstate regions in an effort to terminate John Connor. Alternatively, he will try to better position himself for Super Tuesday by terminating Chris Christie.

    I would.

    In conclusion, I have been sent back in time by the Resistance to prevent Judgment Day. My mission is to endorse this optimal candidate. So vote for Rubio if you want to live.

    Marco Rubio 2016 - No Fate But What We Make

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      Occham's AftershaveOMG!PONIES!
      2/09/16 12:44pm

      +1 T-800 arm

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      OMG!PONIES!Occham's Aftershave
      2/09/16 12:50pm
      GIF

      The leading advantage that Marco Rubio has over the other candidates is that he cannot self-terminate.

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    99Telep☺dpr☹blemsAshley Feinberg
    2/09/16 11:19am

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      VanNostrand99Telep☺dpr☹blems
      2/09/16 11:25am

      If Butters grew up and had a political career... Marco Rubio.

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      lightninglouie99Telep☺dpr☹blems
      2/09/16 11:39am

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    benjaminalloverAshley Feinberg
    2/09/16 11:16am

    Is that a snowball flying right to left?

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      Johnny Chundersbenjaminallover
      2/09/16 11:38am

      Is the woman with all of the fur trim Rubio’s bag(wo)man?

      GIF
      GIF
      GIF
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    2DollarzAshley Feinberg
    2/09/16 11:14am

    If this keeps up, Rubio is going blow a fuse and blast one of these pretenders with his eye lazors.

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      Jackalopalope2Dollarz
      2/09/16 11:16am

      + 1000 for still chortling

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      Fanny O'Rear2Dollarz
      2/09/16 12:29pm

      I just did one of those silent laughs where you chortle out of your nose, and my coworker said “Bless you.”

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