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    The Noble RenardBrendan O'Connor
    2/08/16 8:38pm

    Do you think Ted Cruz’s massive blobfish nose gets in the way when he tries to go down?

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      Ginger Is A ConstructThe Noble Renard
      2/08/16 8:43pm

      Ahaha you honestly think Ted Cruz has ever gone done on another person in his entire life?

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      TakahashiThe Noble Renard
      2/08/16 8:44pm

      Don’t be ridiculous. That guy never goes down and thinks the female orgasm is a myth because Jesus said so. That guy probably thinks clitoris is a radical Muslim group.

      He reminds me of the Darryl character in Thelma and Louise.

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    puncha yo bunsBrendan O'Connor
    2/08/16 8:40pm

    Quick reader’s poll: would you rather A) Have plain old missionary sex with Trump where you have to face him/can’t turn away from his body, but you can put a bag over his head or B) Have sex with Cruz with no bag over his head, but its doggy style so you’re facing away and don’t have to look at him. But you can hear him.

    Submitted your answers? OK.

    Trick question. The correct answer is C) Gouge your eyes out voluntarily and set yourself on fire.

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      Takahashipuncha yo buns
      2/08/16 8:43pm

      Is death in a vat of acid an option? Because I’d take that.

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      Michaelpuncha yo buns
      2/08/16 8:45pm

      Fuck/Marry/Kill

      Fuck Donald Trump, marry Ted Cruz, kill myself.

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    ╰(　´◔　ω　◔ `)╯< Woke and BokeBrendan O'Connor
    2/08/16 8:39pm

    Pussy? Cruz looks more like a large intestine.

    Also explains the shit that comes out his mouth.

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      blandasio╰(　´◔　ω　◔ `)╯< Woke and Boke
      2/08/16 8:47pm

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      SybilT2╰(　´◔　ω　◔ `)╯< Woke and Boke
      2/08/16 8:54pm

      That Mr. Intestines ad character is the only thing more disgusting than the Jublia Toenail Fungus Foot on the red carpet. Ted Cruz is more disgusting than both of them combined.

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    Sorely VexedBrendan O'Connor
    2/08/16 8:36pm

    Just when you think this trailer park clambake can’t get any more low-rent, one of these weenies moves the bar down another rung. I predict a full-on slap fight between three or more GOP candidates before the fat lady sings.

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      Ping Pong von LasersteinSorely Vexed
      2/08/16 8:42pm

      I predict a full-on slap fight between three or more GOP candidates

      Trump would be at a decided disavantage with his tiny baby hands.

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      BaggyTrousers3Sorely Vexed
      2/08/16 9:52pm

      And the media - especially CNN - won’t ask Trump a fucking real question and take him to task. It’s just, “Oh, that darn Trump...” all the way to the fucking White House. Obama gets drilled on what he did in high school but Trump calls someone a pussy on stage and it’s like “That’s our Donald!” (sad trombone)

      Fuck us all.

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    Cam/ronBrendan O'Connor
    2/08/16 8:42pm

    It’s the old “Oh, I’m just sayin’!” defense:

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      ratchedCam/ron
      2/08/16 8:47pm

      And he huffed and he puffed and he...took their homes by eminent domain.

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      TumfordRidesAgainCam/ron
      2/08/16 8:49pm

      She must be one classy lady!

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    VanNostrandBrendan O'Connor
    2/08/16 8:41pm

    I’ve seen labia less flappy than Ted Cruz’z face. An insult to pussies everywhere.

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      ArturoVanNostrand
      2/08/16 9:12pm

      LMAO, ohmigod, that’s amazing.

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      GrumpyEagleVanNostrand
      2/08/16 9:23pm

      Like a wizard’s sleeve...

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    tornadoslackssBrendan O'Connor
    2/08/16 8:38pm

    Cruz: "I'm rubber and you're glue, Donny, everything you say bounces off of me and sticks to your head and keeps your dead squirrel in place."

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      Ghost of Future Kimmy GibblerBrendan O'Connor
      2/08/16 9:00pm

      I really think we should stop using this word like this. It’s misogynist and inaccurate. Pussies can do pretty amazing things. Balls are easily hurt, the more wimpish of genitals!!

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        Meanwhile, ElsewhereGhost of Future Kimmy Gibbler
        2/08/16 10:31pm
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      filmgirlBrendan O'Connor
      2/08/16 8:56pm

      Why has no one pointed (pun intended) that he points out with his two index fingers when he is talking and it is really fucking annoying.

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        clickSuckafilmgirl
        2/08/16 9:57pm

        Why hasn’t anyone mentioned that Trump is a flacid and impotent penis of a steer for not calling Cruz a pussy ditectly instead of repeating the insult from someone else.

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      cuntybawsBrendan O'Connor
      2/08/16 8:43pm

      In other news, instances of sex involving a woman are down 45 per cent this evening.

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