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BCDFGHamilton Nolan
2/02/16 5:26pm
I will take a slightly different view from Hamilton. The rebranding does matter —but for reasons that are stated much less subtly than the garbage about a new icon.

Resist the urge to gouge your eyes out, but this material means a lot:

Uber, the transportation and logistics unicorn many private investors consider more valuable than Ford Motor Company or FedEx, rebranded today.

This may be total puffery, but here’s the important thing: Uber is now talking about itself as a transportation and logistics company, in the same field as Ford and FedEx.

When Uber came into the NYC market —which still subsidizes the company’s operations in all the podunk towns across the U.S.— it did so by presenting itself as a “For Hire Vehicle” company, in competition with black car services. No one really cared, but they exploited a small loophole: they did away with the traditional black car “base” (with a radio dispatcher, who directed cars that came from the same fleet and held the same insurance) and set up a bunch of virtual ones. Literally, four or five bases (Unter, Hinter, etc.) are all set up in this one building in Long Island City.

What Uber is signalling is that they are entering the logistics market in a similar stealth manner. And that’s a very scary place for them to go because, as far as I can tell, they have no intention of registering with the US Department of Transportation or any other bureaucracy whose job it is to track logistics companies.

FedEx —as scummy as it is, given its union avoidance strategies— nevertheless registers its fleet of trucks. Uber will not do so with its fleet of drivers —who will probably shift to package delivery to eke out a living on a slightly better margin than passenger service.

It is easy to poo-poo this, but imagine for a second what this means. Anyone can have any willing driver transport any package. No examination of insurance, no examination of training, no assurance that drivers get the mandatory amount of rest. It is only a matter of time before we deal with any number of conundrums: cigarette smuggling, for example. Or for another, ensuring that drivers know how to handle routine hazardous materials (think of things like helium tanks for balloons or propane tanks).
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  BIMming ItBCDFG
  2/02/16 5:31pm
  I don’t think Uber is considering itself a logistics company. The writer was just referring to how over-hyped their value is by others, and how ludicrous it is.
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  SirHudFudBCDFG
  2/02/16 5:51pm
  The only thing missing from the capitalist’s wet dream in your scenario is a massive government bailout every five years.
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The Alvin Greene DreamHamilton Nolan
2/02/16 4:44pm
Somebody probably got paid like a billion in stock to make this thing. Think about that for a second.
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  CodiustheawesomeThe Alvin Greene Dream
  2/02/16 4:47pm
  Maybe, but I was also just reading an article on The Verge about how the CEO helped design it. Oh, also the CEO is not a graphic designer of any kind, not that it shows or anything.
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  Tidal TownThe Alvin Greene Dream
  2/02/16 4:47pm
  Whether we like to admit it or not, branding works.
  
  EDIT: Which also means shitty branding hurts, like this god-awful abomination of design.
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Sean BrodyHamilton Nolan
2/02/16 4:48pm
I once through a management conference for hours where our new logo and branding was revealed and described to us by our branding consultant.
This pony-tailed, snake-oil fucker spent a half hour alone on why having the company name in all lower case ‘told our story better’.

It’s 5 years ago now and I’m still insulted by the tone of the thing.

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  youjustkeepthinkingbutchSean Brody
  2/02/16 4:50pm
  I have been there and I have done that.
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  Andrew MochulskySean Brody
  2/02/16 5:07pm
  The company in question? All Caps Mutual.
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LordBurleighHamilton Nolan
2/02/16 4:47pm
Here’s the thing: venture capitalists are not the modern-day equivalent of epic heroes, despite their hubristic self-presentation, and hiring someone to design a new logo to print on everything they own is not the equivalent of sacking Troy.
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  RedcrustinLordBurleigh
  2/02/16 4:52pm
  But their contribution to society is a Trojan Horse (diminished protections for workers under the guise of ill-defined small-producer, populism). They’re the Greeks.
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  la-federaleLordBurleigh
  2/02/16 5:23pm
  Here’s the thing: college professors are the modern-day equivalents of priests, which is to say, unproductive charlatans whose main source of income is convincing the productive to subsidize them. Often, they use insults to do the convincing.
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Adam Clark EstesHamilton Nolan
2/02/16 4:46pm
Hamilton, I’m sorry. http://gizmodo.com/ubers-new-logo…
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  ╰(　´◔　ω　◔ `)╯< Woke and BokeAdam Clark Estes
  2/02/16 4:50pm
  Specifically, an asshole undergoing a colonoscopy.
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  Hamilton NolanAdam Clark Estes
  2/02/16 5:00pm
  Let’s set up some workshops over the next year and a half to discuss.
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dothedewHamilton Nolan
2/02/16 5:49pm
Six years from founding to rebranding. That has to be some kind of record for a company that is not also “pivoting” its business model.
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  BCDFGdothedew
  2/02/16 7:04pm
  The business model is pivoting though. Uber slashing fares is happening just as they roll out same-day delivery service. In some ways, Uber recognizes that Lyft and the other second tier ride sharing services are going to eat into market share in that field. So they’ll branch out to short-distance delivery. Get ready to see moving companies and such get disrupted.
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  dothedewBCDFG
  2/02/16 7:34pm
  That has been the business plan for a long time. They are only starting to execute it. They always considered themselves a logistics company not a ride “sharing” company
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CPT DHamilton Nolan
2/02/16 5:47pm
No offense to any marketing folks out there, but I have met some of the most unimpressive, self important dolts who somehow have stumbled into well paying jobs in your field.

I can grudgingly respect lawyers, who at least must grind through law school and pass the bar to make what they make, but marketing? A B.A. in Graphic Design and the ability to talk unironically about the spirit of your doodle and you are ready for the big time.
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  TheDamnPaterfamiliasCPT D
  2/02/16 7:19pm
  There are equal parts professionals and buffoons in any profession. The hot takes on logos and marketing is tiresome.
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  Kiwi15CPT D
  2/02/16 8:36pm
  None taken. I do it for the paycheck and I feel dirty. The article in question does a great job of making me want to throw up in my mouth over and over again. As for Uber and their “competitive pricing model” thanks but no thanks.
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logophobe's pointless patrolHamilton Nolan
2/02/16 4:56pm
Quite aside from the glowing hyperbole about the new logo, it simply sucks. There’s nothing that even vaguely connects to the company’s name there.

Gotta love a world where a group of rich assholes can spend over a year on a meaningless task, do a terrible job, and still have a positive article written about them.
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A_Copy_EditorHamilton Nolan
2/02/16 4:48pm
It looks like a brake pedal. Which is appropriate because I want them to stop with the fucking bullshit.
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  look_squirrelsA_Copy_Editor
  2/03/16 9:02am
  you win!
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UnderYetOverHamilton Nolan
2/02/16 4:44pm
But why is the logo a sperm?
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  Tom Servo's mechanical heart, Flat Earth TrutherUnderYetOver
  2/02/16 4:48pm
  You beat me to it god DAMN
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  Masshole JamesUnderYetOver
  2/02/16 4:50pm
  I thought it was a reverse “C”, which is even more confusing.
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