Discussion
  • Read More
    bourbon.p.millerAshley Feinberg
    2/01/16 5:28pm

    Look I have to visit rural Nebraska for work regularly so I get it. You want to eat anything other than overcooked steak and gravy-laden chicken at the one non-Subway restaurant in town? Good luck. Want to stay somewhere nicer than a Holiday Inn? No chance. But these are your constituents. Deal with it, Botox.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      Cam/ronbourbon.p.miller
      2/01/16 5:32pm

      I have an ex-boss who used to work in Iowa and he recalled that half of the Hawkeye State smells like a dirty diaper due to their lax manure laws.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      CaliforlifeCam/ron
      2/01/16 5:38pm

      Cedar Rapids smells like corn syrup because they make (used to, I know, not sure now) general mill’s crappy sugar cereal. The locals, when I was there and that I knew..loved the smell and it smelled of post nuclear cereal death.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    #NotAllYzermanAshley Feinberg
    2/01/16 5:26pm

    Gotta really feel sympathetic for a woman whose entire life is spent talking to and making physical contact with persons that repulse her. But enough about Heidi Cruz's sex life.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      FoxEmKay#NotAllYzerman
      2/01/16 5:28pm

      BAM.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      dothedew#NotAllYzerman
      2/01/16 5:29pm

      They seem like they would have sex like this

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    PsonicPsunspotAshley Feinberg
    2/01/16 5:30pm

    I’m sitting here thinking, “Where do I know that face from?” And then it hit me: she’s got the Jennifer Coolidge pout!

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      Cam/ronPsonicPsunspot
      2/01/16 5:33pm

      “We both love soup and snow peas. And we love talking and not talking.”

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      PsonicPsunspotCam/ron
      2/01/16 5:34pm

      My favorite line from any Christopher Guest movie—and one of my favorite lines from any comedy, full stop—is, “We could not talk or talk forever and still find things to not talk about.”

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    NefertittiesAshley Feinberg
    2/01/16 5:29pm

    Honestly, I wish everyone in the world would follow suit. Screw water shortages—I want hygiene!

    (For the record, I am one of the 4% of the world population who showers twice a day every day of the year. It has nothing to do with Iowa. It’s just relaxing.)

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      CheeseSandwichNefertitties
      2/01/16 5:32pm

      You make up for the fact I never shower and prefer to to wipe myself clean with nappy wipes.


      My wife died in a shower related accident...I can’t stand to be in there. I’m working on it.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      snakebiteNefertitties
      2/01/16 5:39pm

      OMG, all of my skin would disintegrate and fall off. I only shower twice a week, and even then, I all but bathe in lotion to keep myself from dying.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    Cam/ronAshley Feinberg
    2/01/16 5:28pm

    That awkward kiss is up there with the pinnacle of Bush’s ‘00 campaign:

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      Uncle BooCam/ron
      2/01/16 5:33pm


      You're Welcome, America.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      Fred Garvin Male ProstituteCam/ron
      2/01/16 5:34pm

      Kid doesn’t look too happy. “GET OUTTA MY FACE”

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    OMG!PONIES!Ashley Feinberg
    2/01/16 5:29pm

    I feel no sympathy for Heidi Cruz because I know that in a past lifetime, she was Adolf Hitler or some other horrible person.

    Like the inventor of beer farts.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      SktroopOMG!PONIES!
      2/01/16 5:32pm

      Eva Braun??

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      chitownroxOMG!PONIES!
      2/01/16 5:36pm

      Can you imagine the kind of soulless, repulsive person it would take to voluntarily marry Ted Cruz?

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    gramercypoliceAshley Feinberg
    2/01/16 5:46pm

    When Bill Bradley ran for the Dem nomination in 2000, he seemed like he’d be a great candidate, on paper. But after he dropped out of the race I remember reading some reporter’s observation that she knew he’d lose early on when she saw him shaking voters’ hands with an aide who, every minute or two, gave him a towel so he could wipe his hands. She just said any candidate who is that worried about voter germs shouldn't really run for office.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      UnschtuppableForcegramercypolice
      2/01/16 6:08pm


      I’m still mad at Bill Bradley for NOT WANTING IT ENOUGH

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      Ginger Is A Constructgramercypolice
      2/01/16 6:20pm

      Holy shit I completely forgot about Bill Bradley and I even campaigned for him for a hot second in college. Before I jumped aboard the Nader train. Oh the 2000 elections! How little we knew.....

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    TheRainInSpain'sTherapistAshley Feinberg
    2/01/16 5:34pm

    I can’t blame her on the hugging. Women shouldn’t be obligated into this hugging thing (Require fist bumps, Heidi).

    Also, can you imagine living with that troll made of pudding, Cruz? No wonder she fought depression. Double bleeargh!

    http://www.nytimes.com/2016/01/18/us/…

    Soon after, Mrs. Cruz quit her high-powered post in Washington, took a job in finance and moved to Texas, an unfamiliar place, to be closer to Mr. Cruz, then the state’s solicitor general. The transition unsettled her.

    In August 2005, a police officer in Austin, answering a call about a woman sitting beside an expressway on-ramp, found Mrs. Cruz with her head in her hands. He transported her to an unnamed facility, according to his report, which said, “I believed that she was a danger to herself.”

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      TimF101TheRainInSpain'sTherapist
      2/01/16 5:40pm

      She must have LOVED the Duck Dynasty clan.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      TheRainInSpain'sTherapistTimF101
      2/01/16 5:43pm

      “gimmee a hug! Get your face deep in that beard, ma’am. It won’t bite! Well, maybe the birds nesting in there. You can also treat yourself to those Cheetos.”

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    GinAndTonic Got Stuck in the Barney (and the greys)Ashley Feinberg
    2/01/16 5:37pm

    This woman fucks Ted Cruz- I really don’t see how hand-shaking Iowans could be worse.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      Andrew DaisukeGinAndTonic Got Stuck in the Barney (and the greys)
      2/01/16 5:44pm

      “fucked." past tense.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      GinAndTonic Got Stuck in the Barney (and the greys)Andrew Daisuke
      2/01/16 5:45pm

      Oh, you know they raw dog it when he corners her in the linen closet.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    ╰(　´◔　ω　◔ `)╯< Woke and BokeAshley Feinberg
    2/01/16 5:29pm

    If she thinks Iowa Republicans smell bad, wait until she gets to Pennsylvania. They make Iowans smell like Parisian courtesans by comparison. She’s been spoiled by the Republicans in Texas, who all smell like smoked meat and gun oil.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      LaChavalina╰(　´◔　ω　◔ `)╯< Woke and Boke
      2/01/16 5:39pm

      I don’t know, maybe she’ll like the smell of elk musk and anthracite.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      Tribe89╰(　´◔　ω　◔ `)╯< Woke and Boke
      2/01/16 5:53pm

      I would love to read a state by state description of what Republicans smell like in every state.

      Reply
      <