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    DiscoInfernoSupressionSystemMelissa Cronin
    1/31/16 3:22pm

    I’d like to think at one point or another, the mental gears inside the mind of every potential Cruz voter suddenly come unstuck, and the realization that they’ve been supporting someone like him washes over them with the cold chill of soul-crushing regret.

    That moment looks something like this:

    GIF
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      Gimme Some SugarDiscoInfernoSupressionSystem
      1/31/16 3:33pm

      This is high art.

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      sausageDiscoInfernoSupressionSystem
      1/31/16 3:34pm

      classic, where did you dig up this gem?

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    NefertittiesMelissa Cronin
    1/31/16 3:23pm

    When your daughter flicks her fingers at you, visibly cringes, actively pulls away, says “ow” when you go to touch her, and won’t look you directly in the eye, it might be time to step back and examine everything about yourself.

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      BitchSwanNefertitties
      1/31/16 3:27pm

      Eh. Tween girls are weird.

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      JinxeNefertitties
      1/31/16 3:32pm

      This won’t be happening any time soon, though. This is a man that used Green Eggs and Ham to express how much he hated Obamacare. He didn’t even understand what that book was about.

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    Cherith CutestoryMelissa Cronin
    1/31/16 3:22pm

    Why is it so hard to find humans for the GOP nomination?

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      KinglyCitrusCherith Cutestory
      1/31/16 3:34pm

      Because people with compassion and humanity tend to be Democrats?

      Not that Hilary is exactly the best example of graceful warmth, but still...

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      HaighaCherith Cutestory
      1/31/16 3:57pm

      Faustian bargains tend to rid one of one’s humanity.

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    xmdofp-Melissa Cronin
    1/31/16 3:38pm

    Gawker finds Ted Cruz video of a normal teenage daughter not wanting a kiss from her dad in public. Gawker attempts to make Ted Cruz look bad. Gawker does anything to find a video that puts any Republican nominee in a bad light. Gawker doesn’t care to discuss Hillary’s 30+ years of various but similar scandals. Gawker is grossly biased. Gawker sucks. Don’t be like Gawker.

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      not_productivexmdofp-
      1/31/16 4:42pm

      She’s seven.

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      secretagentmanxmdofp-
      1/31/16 6:29pm

      Bles your heart.

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    Watchu Talkin Bout WillisMelissa Cronin
    1/31/16 3:19pm

    She knows that he eats babies...

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      Cherith CutestoryWatchu Talkin Bout Willis
      1/31/16 3:21pm

      Yet shows no gratitude that he spared her.

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      BeaufighterWatchu Talkin Bout Willis
      1/31/16 3:22pm

      “Daddy you smell like baby powder and tears.”

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    dothedewMelissa Cronin
    1/31/16 3:17pm

    He seems like an affectionate and fun dad.

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      Malacoda, Recumbent on the Burning Sand.dothedew
      1/31/16 3:23pm

      Ted Cruz is the Krampus.

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    TRUMP DELENDUS EST (fka Chatham Harrison)Melissa Cronin
    1/31/16 3:38pm

    Little known fact: As a demon of the 4th circle, Ted Cruz’s slime-sweat is corrosive enough to melt through a 6-inch steel plate within minutes. His children, being half-breeds, merely experience a painful burning sensation on contact, hence her cries.

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      BuffaloRudeTRUMP DELENDUS EST (fka Chatham Harrison)
      1/31/16 3:43pm

      Ted Cruz’s sweat did 9/11?!

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      couldibemorecharmedTRUMP DELENDUS EST (fka Chatham Harrison)
      1/31/16 4:47pm

      Also, Cruz’s sweat is emitted from aircraft. TRUST NO ONE.

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    OMG!PONIES!Melissa Cronin
    1/31/16 3:32pm

    The Constitution is quite clear on this point...

    The Elf On The Shelf is not eligible to be President of the United States.

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      MyFriendBobbysFriendBobbyOMG!PONIES!
      1/31/16 3:46pm

      Is it the eyelashes? The cheeks? The psychopathic stare? Elf on the Shelf does not deserve a cabinet. Unless it’s one of those metal locking ones in an abandoned warehouse near a toxic waste dump site.

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      Kenhe LoginOMG!PONIES!
      1/31/16 5:53pm

      Fuck the Elf on a Shelf. Snitches get stitches.

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    Mew-Tang-ClanMelissa Cronin
    1/31/16 3:24pm

    Who better to know what a sleazy weasel a person is than his own children. Even she can’t stand Cruz in her personal space. I honestly don't know what would do if I were his son. My parents are conservative, but if they were filled with an ounce of shit this man carries in his half-melted, sloppy physique, I'd have emancipated myself very early on.

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      Malacoda, Recumbent on the Burning Sand.Mew-Tang-Clan
      1/31/16 3:47pm

      He’d be great material for a Shakespeare play.

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      hotoynoodleMew-Tang-Clan
      1/31/16 4:11pm

      his daughter is not alone in her disgust:

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    Wayward ApologyMelissa Cronin
    1/31/16 3:54pm

    As a decent person a tiny tiny part of me wants to have a little bit of sympathy here, campaigning is hell and even worse for young children who are subject to all sorts of life disruption, it’s really not fair.

    And then I remember what a truly loathsome person Ted is without a single redeeming or humanizing quality. Fuck him, if the elevator I was on was about to crush him I wouldn’t even pretend to reach for the door open button because I know if the roles were reversed he would be furiously mashing the door close button.

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      0nceUp0nATimeWayward Apology
      1/31/16 5:04pm

      I agree. Politics is hell on families and children. I told my husband I would leave him if he ever went into politics and I meant it. It would be a miserable existence with all the interviews, dragged around the country to smile and wave like a trick pony, having your every move dogged by reporters (and your children watched for embarrassing misbehavior.)

      As much as it pains me to admit it, I have to have a modicum of respect for Donald Trump not making his wife participate in his campaign.

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