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    AardymusVarkBrendan O'Connor
    1/28/16 9:00pm

    Michael Jackson got more pussy than Tucker Carlson.

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      Turdington JonesAardymusVark
      1/28/16 9:03pm

      He still gets more pussy than Tucker Carlson.


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      puncha yo bunsAardymusVark
      1/28/16 9:03pm

      This is undoubtedly true.

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    CharitybBrendan O'Connor
    1/28/16 9:04pm

    One thing that is interesting about Donald Trump is that there is nothing and no one that is beneath his personal attention. There is a certain omnipresence to his pettiness that is honestly pretty impressive to me. I wonder if he has ever put up with being teased before.

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      los yipesCharityb
      1/28/16 9:30pm

      There is nothing and no one that is beneath his personal attention. There is a certain omnipresence to his pettiness that is honestly pretty impressive...

      Seriously, fuck whoever let him out of the greys.

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      The dropped schwaCharityb
      1/29/16 1:15am

      Can you imagine what it would be like if he was president?

      Random Senator: “This is a terrible plan put forth by the President...”

      Trump: “Have you seen my penis? It’s huge. Look at my money. You’re just cranky because you’re bleeding. Here’s a lawsuit against you. Yooooge penis.”

      Random Senator: “...”

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    Mew-Tang-ClanBrendan O'Connor
    1/28/16 9:00pm

    My cat’s litter box gets more pussy than Tucker “Mormon Ken Doll” Carlson. His name is Mr. Meow, and he’s still not as lame as Tucker Carlson. Tucker Carlson, what a goober.

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      Sid and FinancyMew-Tang-Clan
      1/28/16 9:13pm

      You named the litter box?

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      Mew-Tang-ClanSid and Financy
      1/28/16 9:26pm

      Oops my bad. My cat’s name is Mr. Meow. My litter box doesn’t have a name. But if I wanted to make Trump’s statement about Carlson undeniably true, I guess I could call it Donald.

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    ╰(　´◔　ω　◔ `)╯< Woke and BokeBrendan O'Connor
    1/28/16 9:04pm

    Are there any boots that Tucker Carlson wouldn’t lick?

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      Kaidog╰(　´◔　ω　◔ `)╯< Woke and Boke
      1/28/16 9:12pm

      Jon Stewart’s.

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      ╰(　´◔　ω　◔ `)╯< Woke and BokeKaidog
      1/28/16 9:16pm

      Jon Stewart wears Crocs.

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    the johnBrendan O'Connor
    1/28/16 9:03pm

    Scalp reduction. Scalp reduction. Scalp reduction scalp reduction scalp reduction scalpreduction scalpreductionscalpreduction.

    Scalp reduction.

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      Ginger Is A Constructthe john
      1/28/16 9:41pm

      BOTCHED scalp reduction.

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    HankBrendan O'Connor
    1/28/16 9:03pm

    Tucker Carlson is one of the few people who share a story with Donald Trump and somehow end up being the more punchable man by story’s end.

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      CharitybHank
      1/28/16 9:39pm

      I think he won by taking Trump’s juvenile, moronic insult, *agreeing with it*, and then going on to give Trump the kind of glowing endorsement that Trump would have written for himself if he could.

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    Max CherryBrendan O'Connor
    1/28/16 9:43pm

    Virtually any heterosexual male in existence can say this to Tucker Carlson.

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      KaidogBrendan O'Connor
      1/28/16 9:11pm

      I hope Jon Stewart rips Tucker yet another asshole, someday soon. That Politico column was prime Tucker bowtie stupidity.

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        Kaye Syrah SyrahBrendan O'Connor
        1/28/16 10:30pm

        Well. This is a Sophie’s Choice that I cannot even, with. I’m just blinking, trying to think of a way to decide.

        I guess? Tucker.

        HOLY FUCKBALLS.

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          lobstrBrendan O'Connor
          1/30/16 12:50pm

          Wait, so.... the bow tie look wasn’t a pussy magnet? j’accuse!

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