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    Ricki Spanish HarlemAllie Jones
    1/26/16 9:42am

    THIS is the KEY to a happy relationship with ANYONE. Someone older and wiser than both of us said it first tho...

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      Sid and FinancyRicki Spanish Harlem
      1/26/16 9:47am

      1. Obtain massive disposable income.

      2. Arrange living quarters with multiple bathrooms.

      3. Happiness is a state of mind.

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      BSTrainerSid and Financy
      1/26/16 9:52am

      Yeah, that quote alone is essentially an admission that their relationship relies entirely on a certain threshold of income, ie. they couldn’t stay together if they were poor. Like my pauper partner and I, who have somehow managed to stay together despite sharing the same bedroom and bathroom for our entire relationship.

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    Rom RombertsAllie Jones
    1/26/16 9:42am

    Friends, I have terrible news for your brains - I have contracted a virulent strain of Melania and now my legs are boggy, useless noddles. Oh please pray for my Melania-infested sinus region. The Melania has spread to my bones, which hum and vibrate like long albino crickets beneath the blanket of my orange-toned Melania inflamed skin. I am doomed. I should not have eaten all of that money.

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      Rom RombertsRom Romberts
      1/26/16 9:43am

      noddles

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      phunkshunRom Romberts
      1/26/16 9:46am

      Word of the day: Noddles.

      My noddles are tingling due to Melania Trump.

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    TwoPumpTrumpAllie Jones
    1/26/16 9:39am

    Why are we shaming this person again?

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      seeyaTwoPumpTrump
      1/26/16 10:00am

      Because she’s vapid and we’re mean. Doy.

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      shelwoodTwoPumpTrump
      1/26/16 10:08am

      Allie didn’t even mention Melania’s (now-discontinued) line of caviar moisturizers that she said she used on her 7-year-old. This post was almost kind in that way.

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    LRonsCupboardAllie Jones
    1/26/16 11:44am

    OK, she’s a dum dum with weirdly squinty eyes (seriously, what’s going on with her eyes?) but she’s not wrong about the separate bathrooms. Have you ever dealt with the aftermath of a man’s morning bathroom routine? Boys are gross!

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      DontBeSuchaBoobPunchTinaLRonsCupboard
      1/26/16 2:21pm

      They leave stuff splattered everywhere. Including the toilet. HURK.

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      LRonsCupboardDontBeSuchaBoobPunchTina
      1/26/16 3:38pm

      Exactly. My husband and I used to rent a house with two bathrooms. Luxury! Now we have to share and my god, it’s astounding how a guy who smells so nice and dresses so neatly can leave such a disgusting mess in his wake.

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    MolierthanthouAllie Jones
    1/26/16 10:07am

    Please. Please for the love of God stop. I can’t take the photos. I can’t take the facelifted eyes. I can’t take the anus mouth. I can’t take it anymore. This is a legitimate cry for help. Please.

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      flamingolingoMolierthanthou
      1/26/16 10:33am

      It’s weird that Donald has married multiple women who look so similar to each other. Put a blonde wig on Melania and she could be Ivanka.

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      Molierthanthouflamingolingo
      1/26/16 10:36am

      He probably can’t tell you what each woman’s favorite movie is, or food, or her mother’s maiden name, or anything that differentiates them from one another. And I’m sorry but Ivanka is NOT pretty. Her nose is weirdly crooked too. No one ever points out that she looks like an alien mannequin. Not even a live alien, a mannequin alien. I hate them all. I beg God to make them go away.

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    Sean BrodyAllie Jones
    1/26/16 9:39am

    Hard to argue with this.

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      Foo YoungSean Brody
      1/26/16 9:45am

      I would imagine The Donald takes big smelly dumps.

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      Rarely Sober InsomniacFoo Young
      1/26/16 9:47am

      His dumps are YUUUGE.

      Forgive me.

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    deanmartinsrectalpolyps2Allie Jones
    1/26/16 9:45am

    She can’t be too stupid. She knew enough to say the two words that would set her up financially for the rest of her life: “I do.”

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      flamingolingodeanmartinsrectalpolyps2
      1/26/16 10:34am

      Not making public statements without Donald’s prior approval is probably a clause in the pre-nup.

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      Molierthanthoudeanmartinsrectalpolyps2
      1/26/16 10:38am

      No amount of money would make up for him breathing on me while he was doing me. None. I’d rather eat dog food. I would rather be one of the juveniles that don’t have to have solitary now. Just the thought of it makes me want to cry.

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    BookonBobAllie Jones
    1/26/16 9:50am

    This is an honest question. I’m not being a smart ass. Why is fine for a person to marry someone for their money? It’s not a Gender thing either, as both Men and Women do this. To me it seems far more socially acceptable than it should. Why is it wrong to have sex with someone for money, but fine to marry them?

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      QuadrillionBookonBob
      1/26/16 10:10am

      You’re assuming so much. So much.

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      flamingolingoBookonBob
      1/26/16 10:36am

      “Gold diggers” are regularly derided in our culture, so I wouldn’t say it’s fine for most people. It’s just not illegal to marry someone for money.

      FWIW, I don’t think it should be illegal to have sex with someone for money either.

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    GregoireAllie Jones
    1/26/16 9:39am

    She makes Kristin Cavallari seem like Joyce Carol Oates. Gawker couldn’t even get a 30 Days of Melania column out of her.

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      festivusaziliGregoire
      1/26/16 10:35am

      “Life is a balancing act.” Melania doesn’t even fucking reference her footwear. I’m embarrassed for her.

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    okiedokieokieAllie Jones
    1/26/16 9:47am

    The Nexus-6 models are still a little glitchy, but still very worth it if you only want the very best.

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      Jedinokiedokieokie
      1/26/16 9:54am

      Yeah, but I heard that Stepford Quality Control has been downsized.

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      okiedokieokieJedin
      1/26/16 9:55am

      I’m sure it will be addressed as “bug fixes” in the next update.

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