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    Desi_RelafordMelissa Cronin
    1/24/16 9:42am
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      BabylegsDesi_Relaford
      1/24/16 9:47am

      One of the things I find so weird and pathetic about his appearance is his strangely thick eyelashes. It just makes him look like a creepy melting baby doll head.

      That said, it could be the grainy resolution from the VHS system of yesteryear, but he looks kind of hot in that video. :( sorry.

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      NavDesi_Relaford
      1/24/16 9:47am

      Unfair to blobfish.

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    Cam/ronMelissa Cronin
    1/24/16 10:02am

    And so Cruz is a connoisseur of tacky 80's teen sex comedies:

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      benjaminalloverCam/ron
      1/24/16 10:08am

      This looks exactly like the type of thing that dork would think was cool;

      Also, like possibly the worst movie ever made.

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      Cam/ronbenjaminallover
      1/24/16 10:12am

      “Suggested retail price: $78.95.” Remember kids, VHS tapes actually sold for those prices.

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    HarvestMoonMelissa Cronin
    1/24/16 9:48am

    His college roommate is THE BEST! A few highlights...

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      Used2BGayHarvestMoon
      1/24/16 10:13am

      Oh gosh and arent these personal accounts revealing?

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      Dr Emilio Lizardo (dogless)HarvestMoon
      1/24/16 10:44am

      He’s not wrong, but “Hollywood screenwriter loathes right wing politician” is a plot so predictable and cliched, it could have easily come from the hack writer of Superhero Movie, Identity Thief, and Scary Movie 3 and 4.

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    jasoneliasMelissa Cronin
    1/24/16 9:48am

    Who didn’t know “that”guy in the late ‘80s, you can all but smell the flop sweat, pure BO and the inferiority complex from here.

    I’m saddened that he’s running for president and is allowed to do so.

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      Cam/ronjasonelias
      1/24/16 10:15am

      Yep, that same guy who wore Big Johnson T-shirts at parties and water parks since he believed he had badass humor.

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      cognitivedissidentCam/ron
      1/24/16 10:27am

      Oh gawd. Did he also wear those tacky shirts that said “Co Ed Naked (whatever sport)“ ?

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    HarvestMoonMelissa Cronin
    1/24/16 9:53am

    There is a reason his wife was found crying on the side of a highway.

    The reason is that Ted Cruz is her husband.

    https://www.yahoo.com/news/cops-foun…

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      JAM27HarvestMoon
      1/24/16 10:02am
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      cgo2370HarvestMoon
      1/24/16 10:26am

      I feel sorry for everyone in that family who isn’t Ted Cruz.

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    esperanzoomzoomMelissa Cronin
    1/24/16 9:42am

    Well, I had to stop at the opening lines: “Aspirations? Is that like sweat on my butt?”

    I’ll never unhear those words.

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      C. Montgomery Burner Accountesperanzoomzoom
      1/24/16 9:51am

      That’s exactly the sort of shitty joke I would expect a young jock fratboy asshole like Ted Cruz to make. See also: George W. Bush.

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      Fred Smithesperanzoomzoom
      1/24/16 9:52am

      He’s still making those kinds of jokes, and there’s roomfuls of people in Iowa that think they’re hilarious.

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    OMG!PONIES!Melissa Cronin
    1/24/16 10:32am

    Ted Cruz is not unlike the Schrodinger’s Cat thought experiment, where a cat exists in a superposition of both alive and dead.

    Here is a driven, well-educated man who graduated with honors from Harvard Law School and was politically savvy enough to not only be elected to the United States Senate, but also to advance in the polls to be a serious contender for the Republican Presidential nomination.

    And at the same time, he is simultaneously stupid and lazy enough to let his health insurance coverage lapse, which would be available to him either as a member of Congress or on his wife’s plan through Goldman Sachs, because he could not fill out an application that has been sitting on his desk since July.

    That’s right...

    Senator Ted Cruz, Harvard Law School ‘95, is too lazy and stupid to fill out a simple application.

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      AnnieW50OMG!PONIES!
      1/24/16 10:48am

      It’s even better. He lied. He’s stupid enough to think everyone is too dumb to check it out. He & his children were never uninsured.

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      GrabMyStrongHandOMG!PONIES!
      1/24/16 10:52am

      Honestly, like thinking about how my husband and I work in our partnership, that’s something he’d hand over to me to do, as I am better at paperwork/data entry. And I’m like he’s got a wife and they might even both have assistants and shit like that... So... What a fucking asshole that he can’t be bothered when other people are so desperate for the “privilege” of healthcare. My family, we know what it’s like to be a family with no coverage and get a life threatening diagnosis (my husband was found to have a malignant tumor in his ballsac in our early 20s) and I guarantee these are the actions of a man who’s never had to truly *want* and *work* his balls off for anything.

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    BCDFGMelissa Cronin
    1/24/16 10:07am

    Between the low quality of the video and the megalomania of the subject, this could easily be confused for just about every school shooter’s video manifesto.

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      The artist formly known as Roy RoyalsBCDFG
      1/24/16 12:29pm

      This tape reeks of the subtext of a serial mastubator

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      BCDFGThe artist formly known as Roy Royals
      1/24/16 2:00pm

      You jogged my memory enough that now I remember what this reminds me of: the Eliot Rodger vlogs from just before his rampage. They have that simultaneous cringe/run-for-cover effect

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    crouching tigerMelissa Cronin
    1/24/16 10:28am

    So he cultivated a Texas accent after adolescence. That’s an unusual time to gain an accent, unless you’re pandering, of course.

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      whiskeytangocrouching tiger
      1/24/16 10:41am

      Dubya pioneered it.

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      FishMittencrouching tiger
      1/24/16 10:49am

      Also a Harvard Law grad espousing the most idiotic, anti-science, anti-reality worldview? This guy is a panderer of the first order. Which is why this video is not a surprise in the least.

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    Fred SmithMelissa Cronin
    1/24/16 10:21am

    Behold the splendor of Malibu Bikini Shop, and its mind-blowingly original premise:

    After inheriting a failing bikini shop, two recent grads decide to make a go of it. One, in the hopes of building it into a successful business, the other, in the hopes of getting to look at lots of women in (and out) of swimsuits. As they try more and more outrageous ways of drumming up business, their antics begin attracting some unwanted attention.

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      GrabMyStrongHandFred Smith
      1/24/16 10:56am

      So.... The point of the film is one dude wants to eye rape unsuspecting womem while another lures them in selling them goods? Sounds great, count me in. /s

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      Fred SmithGrabMyStrongHand
      1/24/16 11:07am

      Pretty much boilerplate for this kind of flick.

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