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    OMG!PONIES!Gabrielle Bluestone
    1/14/16 12:54pm

    The manly brume of my traveler’s flatulence and the sight of me, dick in hand, gave the entire affair an air of kismet.

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      The Noble RenardOMG!PONIES!
      1/14/16 12:58pm

      Every time I see that picture I wonder if a malicious Hollywood stylist out to get him told him that douche-soul-patch goatee look was “in.”

      I mean, that’s objectively terrible facial hair.

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      OMG!PONIES!The Noble Renard
      1/14/16 1:02pm

      On the upside, he has aged nicely into a finely crafted lady's handbag. Not necessarily a Birkin, but a Louis Vuitton or YSL at the very least.

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    MercyBrownGabrielle Bluestone
    1/14/16 12:45pm

    No fool like a man in love.

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      EvanrudeJohnsonMercyBrown
      1/14/16 12:50pm

      It’s true, better men than this guy have been brought down by their boners.

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      EvenBaggierTrousers4MercyBrown
      1/14/16 12:55pm

      Seriously. She gives the classic non-committal answers and like most dumb guys (including me for a time) he parsed that into “She likes me! She really likes me.”

      “Man, I can’t wait to see you!”

      “Aw, that’s sweet”

      *Ok, good enough. I’ll take that as a ‘And I can’t wait to see you either.’*

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    Raw Deal MontyGabrielle Bluestone
    1/14/16 1:09pm
    • El Chapo: My friend, are your legs tired?
    • Ermoza (del Castillo): No, why?
    • El Chapo : Because you’ve been Joaquin through my mind all day.
    • Ermoza (del Castillo): Ha, ha,ha! Knowing that makes me really glad. You make me blush.
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      nice_marmotRaw Deal Monty
      1/14/16 1:53pm

      ¡Tan chistoso!

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      gorkamorka41782Raw Deal Monty
      1/14/16 4:08pm
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    yankeegeekinscGabrielle Bluestone
    1/14/16 12:52pm

    It’s always amazing to me how so-called powerful men are reduced to idiocy and emotional rubble when ‘smitten’

    While not equal, I can’t help but rememeber Napoleon’s letters to Josephine. They’re so awkward , raw and raging they make me cringe and remind me of HS. El Chapo reads with the same longing and immature desperation

    http://m.mentalfloss.com/article.php?id…

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      Taint Nuttinyankeegeekinsc
      1/14/16 1:12pm

      $0 vulnerable, that drug lord.

      Your “emotional rubble” is his (and probably most of our) “picking up chicks.”

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      nice_marmotyankeegeekinsc
      1/14/16 2:09pm
      GIF

      Strong men also cry. Strong men also cry...

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    Scranton's Banana ProblemGabrielle Bluestone
    1/14/16 12:45pm
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      Citizen-KangScranton's Banana Problem
      1/14/16 12:56pm

      I bet it feels like a bag of sand.

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    mozhatesmeGabrielle Bluestone
    1/14/16 1:44pm

    I think “Mama” could benefit from a small little accent, so as not to be confused with another popular term among Spanish speaking youths.

    Nevermind. It makes for interesting mind pictures.

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      Gogogadgetanythingmozhatesme
      1/14/16 1:47pm

      Why not just use “Mamí” that I hear every other day round my nabe.

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      mozhatesmemozhatesme
      1/14/16 1:48pm

      I totally read this article with a seductive, sexy, novela tone.

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    nice_marmotGabrielle Bluestone
    1/14/16 3:33pm

    Pink burner phones, banal code names, clumsy BBM flirting, and getting busted hanging out with Spicoli. This is the worst black-ops mission ever.

    GIF
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      tornadoslackssGabrielle Bluestone
      1/14/16 12:47pm

      I totally see this as a dark yet emotion filled sequel to a 1989 classic:

      When Scary met Sally.

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        EvenBaggierTrousers4tornadoslackss
        1/14/16 12:50pm

        When Hairy Met Silly

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      HerRoyalRednessGabrielle Bluestone
      1/14/16 2:27pm

      Did I hallucinate him being married with kids? Or does that not matter to murderous drug-lords?

      Also, I’m apparently the only one that watches the NBC show Telenovela, because she was on it this week in a fairly big guest-starring role and I haven’t heard about it anywhere.

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        Grammar FerretHerRoyalRedness
        1/14/16 2:29pm

        He has a dozen-ish kids and has been married like four times. His current wife is a beauty queen young enough to be his daughter by a fair margin. I’m guessing marital fidelity is not his forte.

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        americanahHerRoyalRedness
        1/14/16 2:58pm

        Yup; he´s been married twice -, last time to the selena gomez on steroids lady below.

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      Max CherryGabrielle Bluestone
      1/14/16 9:11pm

      I think as we enter the new millennium, and the American empire continues to waste away, this is as close as we’re going to get to a Sinatra, Marilyn Monroe, Sam Giancana kind of thing.

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