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    OvariesOfDiamondJulianne Escobedo Shepherd
    1/13/16 3:28pm

    On behalf of ridiculous injury sufferers, I could see his accidents being just that...accidents. I dislocated my knee during catholic mass, tore a ligament in my thumb when someone grabbed my bag to help me and twisted my hand, strained my jaw eating a chocolate croissant. There is oh so much more. I don’t drink ever.

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      Cylontater: Luke Skywalker's Baby MamaOvariesOfDiamond
      1/13/16 3:35pm

      Are you made of porcelain?

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      Dorothy ZbornakOvariesOfDiamond
      1/13/16 3:38pm

      We must be soul sisters. I got a concussion when a taxi driver slammed on the brakes and i flew forward and hit my head on the partition. I slipped and fell in my sister’s kitchen on Christmas Day because I was walking. I bit my tongue so hard it bled because I sneezed too hard.

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    Rando CalrissianJulianne Escobedo Shepherd
    1/13/16 3:21pm

    Old school pun time.

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      JeffersonMurderRando Calrissian
      1/13/16 3:24pm

      Aswan? I don’t get it, are you saying Jimmy Fallon is a swa-....

      OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

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      Bears for PresidentRando Calrissian
      1/13/16 3:25pm

      Are you trying to suggest he’s africa nature?

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    Claudettes dressingroomJulianne Escobedo Shepherd
    1/13/16 3:27pm

    Well done, as usual, Julianne. (But if you are the one who threw me under the GREY bus, I don't like you anymore. Just say'in....)

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      GinAndTonic Got Stuck in the BarneyClaudettes dressingroom
      1/13/16 3:35pm

      WELCOME TO THE BANISHED TO THE GREYS CLUB.

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      Claudettes dressingroomGinAndTonic Got Stuck in the Barney
      1/13/16 3:38pm

      Thank you. I did not know that you were greyed. I'm OK with grey, but that doesn't mean I don't want to know who the 'F' I offended or why. Whatever.

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    WillRogers2000Julianne Escobedo Shepherd
    1/13/16 3:24pm

    “the future of America’s second-favorite Late Night host is more than fine.”

    Who is America’s FIRST favorite late night host? I thought The Tonight Show was topping all the other guys?

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      GinAndTonic Got Stuck in the BarneyWillRogers2000
      1/13/16 3:29pm

      Which is a shame. Colbert has more talent in his deaf right ear than the rest of these guys.

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      WillRogers2000GinAndTonic Got Stuck in the Barney
      1/13/16 3:39pm

      I’m a HUGE Colbert fan (got to go to his Halloween show last year, it was so much fun), but I feel like his show hasn’t hit it’s stride yet. He needs time to figure out the new format.

      People give Jimmy Fallon shit, but we all know comedy (like everything) is wildly subjective. He has a huge following, and frankly I think he’s wildly talented at using pop culture for jokes, and his show is just a loud fun hour of nonsense. He’s killing it, even though the internet hates how much he laughs.

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    HoldenCashJulianne Escobedo Shepherd
    1/13/16 3:25pm

    every waking moment Jimmy Fallon spends offscreen is a moment he’s getting trashed and falling down

    if I had to do that “act” of his every night I’d have to drink daily as well

    *ugh*

    he’s like a bad Glee audition on too much Adderall

    besides his monologues his material is all sad, transparent flattery and bullshit self-effacing humor and pratfalls

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      Cannikin_MK3HoldenCash
      1/13/16 3:53pm

      I saw him do a sponsored segment once where he turned using Bing into a kind of game show. If I were him, I’d have drank the rubbing alcohol under the sink after that one.

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      DetMunchOneLinerHoldenCash
      1/13/16 4:09pm

      Ricky Gervais was on Conan’s show last week and opened with an obvious swing at Fallon. It was something like, “Conan, I’m always really glad to be here because you still do a talk show. You still do interviews. You don’t just sing to the audience.”

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    yvanehtniojJulianne Escobedo Shepherd
    1/13/16 3:25pm

    “Always, we are worried about his safety. There’s been conversations about that. The stories are exaggerated about this.”

    Is it even possible to exaggerate that? How do you take it up a notch from “his employers worry about his safety constantly”?

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      Carrie Mathisonyvanehtnioj
      1/13/16 3:32pm

      I dunno, if this one guy’s good health was what kept me in a job, I’d probably in a state of concern as my default...

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      ThisismyBurneryvanehtnioj
      1/13/16 3:40pm

      His wellbeing is tied directly into their cocaine budget.

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    Canadian BanditJulianne Escobedo Shepherd
    1/13/16 3:30pm

    Huh. I am more likely to believe the reports now that the NBC entertainment chairman felt the need to deny them.

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      ferdinandthebullCanadian Bandit
      1/13/16 3:32pm

      Yeah, I didn’t even know there were reports. Good job NBC.

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    Calls From the PublicJulianne Escobedo Shepherd
    1/13/16 5:27pm

    I’ve given that same exact speech many times; it’s a lie. Broke my nose swimming in to a concrete wall, broke my foot super-man jumping from hotel bed to hotel bed, sprained the same foot wandering off a porch in the dark......the list goes on. I’ve done those things because I have a problem with alcohol. I’m not wasted at work, I go stretches of time without wanting to drink, but you put me in a situation where I can get embarrassingly drunk you can bet I’m not going to have the self control NOT to. There’s more than one way to be an alcoholic!

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      lucindaCalls From the Public
      1/13/16 5:38pm

      Are we related? Well said.

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      BrilliantButMedicatedCalls From the Public
      1/13/16 5:58pm

      Took the words right out of my mouth.

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    Julie ChristieJulianne Escobedo Shepherd
    1/13/16 3:36pm

    I guess my hope is that he’s quietly getting sober. It’s tough for non-alcoholics to wrap their head around addiction and recovery. So many of my well-intention friends will say, “Well, I drink a lot. Does that make me an alcoholic?” I usually just say:

    “I fell down a lot. I broke things (fingers, teeth, laptops, glassware). I overdrew my checking account every month. No one trusted me. My friends were gone. I got fired from jobs. Verbally abused people. Forced the people who still managed to love me to lose sleep. I ate cold leftover white rice with barbecue sauce on it because buying more booze was more important than spending money on food.

    So if you have what I have, I’ll keep a seat warm for you at a meeting.”

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      No desire to create BS name hereJulie Christie
      1/13/16 3:55pm

      I applaud you for getting sober. Also, great way to explain things to people asking the difference. I hope things are well and happy for you now.

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      Julie ChristieNo desire to create BS name here
      1/13/16 4:13pm

      Oh yeah, it’s been years. But thank you!

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    A Small TurnipJulianne Escobedo Shepherd
    1/13/16 4:20pm

    What’s incredibly depressing is that despite the fact that he appears to have a pretty brutal addiction eating at him, Fallon is still getting a thousand more things done than my sorry stupid sober ass.

    Is the moral of the story here that I should start drinking? Because I could absolutely do that.

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