Kinja reply list

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Masshole JamesMelissa Cronin
1/12/16 12:04am
This warms my heart because she’s not interested in his money. She’s totally into him and his hot body and totally not-saggy 80 year old balls.
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  Deadly the EternalMasshole James
  1/12/16 12:07am
  Aaand there goes my dinner all over my keyboard.
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  absolut-alcoholicMasshole James
  1/12/16 12:11am
  She was married to Mick Jagger for years so maybe her thing is fugly rich men?
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GregSamsaMelissa Cronin
1/12/16 12:01am
Sad thing is, she’s already kissed him. She knows what’s what. There’s no grave mistake here—unless it is his actual grave, and he leaves his fortune to her.
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  KrugerrantGregSamsa
  1/12/16 12:10am
  It’s too late! The invitations have already gone out!
  
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  GregSamsaKrugerrant
  1/12/16 12:16am
  By snailmail, though, I see.
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absolut-alcoholicMelissa Cronin
1/12/16 12:17am
Something old,

Something new,

Something bigoted,

Something ewwww.
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  Icecold Davisabsolut-alcoholic
  1/12/16 1:02am
  That does seem to cover all of the bases.
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  DeltaEchoBravo: Drunk Uncle of Dragonsabsolut-alcoholic
  1/12/16 3:10am
  Please tell me what the ‘something blue’ would be. Oh, pretty, pretty please.
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GeorgeGeoffersonLivesMelissa Cronin
1/12/16 12:49am
It’s weird that a few people here think the central criticism is age. It’s not age, it’s that she’s marrying Rupert fuckin’ Murdoch. Come on, now. Don’t be so dense.

Can you Aussies do us a solid and take this burden from us, and return him to his homeland?
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  dothedewGeorgeGeoffersonLives
  1/12/16 1:08am
  Apparently these days they export the criminals
  
  and the insane
  
  from Australia
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  Max CherryGeorgeGeoffersonLives
  1/12/16 1:24am
  Probably because the story specifies that he’s 25 years older than her, as if this is significant, and Gawker’s has been critical of older man/younger woman relationships in past stories.
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Bear BrianMelissa Cronin
1/11/16 11:56pm
So somebody did hit Powerball this week.
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  GregSamsaBear Brian
  1/12/16 12:04am
  It’s true. The dust in his scrotum has sort of shifted to the center, giving the impression there’s at least a single ball remaining.
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  Bear BrianGregSamsa
  1/12/16 1:32am
  You've clearly put some thought in this. I like you.
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amtMelissa Cronin
1/12/16 12:15am
Jerry Hall, a former famous girlfriend and star of a hilarious reality show, is officially engaged to a slime-covered amphibian 25 years her senior.

“Only 25 years? What is this, media mogul amateur hour?”

-Sumner Redstone, 92 year old chairman of Viacom, with women at least 50 years younger than him
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  PhallicBaldwin2amt
  1/12/16 12:52am
  
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  dothedewPhallicBaldwin2
  1/12/16 1:02am
  How many times a day do you think she prays for his imminent death?
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Gaying Mantis TobogganMelissa Cronin
1/12/16 6:16am
I’d marry that money if it would have me! I mean, who can’t put up with a few months or years of his presence as long as it came with the money? After his death I would turn Fox into a channel devoted to the arts, kind of like A&E until it decided manipulating emotionally unstable people into absurd situations was much more artier than art itself. Then I’d buy The Nation and literally staff it to represent the demographics of our nation. The cover of the first issue under my stewardship would be, “Can Haz Prestige By Buying Prestitgious Magazine?” I would also buy one of Trump’s towers in New York and have it turned into a park for homeless people. After that I would invest the remainder in lottery tickets!
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  PoodletimeGaying Mantis Toboggan
  1/12/16 8:55am
  This is a good plan.
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  ThidrekrGaying Mantis Toboggan
  1/12/16 3:17pm
  The best you could hope for as one of Rupert’s late-in-life wives is *some* money; probably a few million and a mansion or two. The bulk of his future estate is already spoken for—in a trust that goes to his existing children.
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badnervesMelissa Cronin
1/12/16 7:18am
Look- I’d never touch that toad, but never underestimate the sheer terror of being a woman of a certain age, with no divorce settlement, and accustomed to the good life , to marry men who are gross old misogynist grandpas. Jerry always seemed like a girl who liked to have fun- I hope she doesn’t think he’s going to die soon!
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  Poodletimebadnerves
  1/12/16 8:58am
  Is she really short of money? Doesn’t England have some kind of “common law wife” arrangement? Didn’t “common law” originate there? I’m not saying Mick Jagger is incapable of dumping her without any money, just that I would have thought there would have been a big scandal there....
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  Ms Patsy StonePoodletime
  1/12/16 9:31am
  No England doesn’t have a common law allowance. There was a scandal. Mick really fought her so he didn’t have to pay out a lot of money. Jerry has really had to grovel over the years and put up with a lot of Mick’s bullshit. Jerry supposedly only owns half of the house she lives in. Mick owns the other half. But the Daily Mail reported a few yrs ago that Jerry doesn’t even own half of the house. It’s in Mick’s name. They also reported that Mick had some provision put in their “divorce” settlement that only allows Jerry to live in the house until she is 65 yrs old and she has to move out if she gets married or decides to cohabitate with anyone. Her youngest child is 18 yrs old. I can see cheap ass Mick trying to get her to move out of the house now. Poor Jerry. When you marry for money, you earn every penny
  
  http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/arti…
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Hollow_LogMelissa Cronin
1/12/16 12:14am
How do you go from the guy responsible for “Sympathy For The Devil” to a guy that is almost literally the devil?
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  EvanrudeJohnsonHollow_Log
  1/12/16 6:46am
  It was something Murdoch said that moved her, to a bigger house.
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DonmiguelbeMelissa Cronin
1/12/16 12:12am
The utter ubiquity of pure evil at certain levels of American society cannot be overestimated. They may not actually sacrifice babies to Lucifer in return for longer lives, but only because that does not work, not because they have any problems with drinking baby blood while worshipping the guy downstairs. Jerry Hall and Rupert even look like monsters — when you look at their picture, you think evil villain. Also? Billions of dollars make old dicks young again. She is going to fuck the everlasting soul out of Murdoch, or have sex with other men while he watches, in return for a life of impossible to describe luxury and the sure knowledge that everyone in her bloodline from now into eternity will be quietly wealthy.
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  PoodletimeDonmiguelbe
  1/12/16 9:01am
  All true, especially the part about the blood of babies. You know they’s be kidnapping, murdering, and drinking if it did work. But isn’t Murdoch Australian?
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  DonmiguelbePoodletime
  1/12/16 9:06am
  Murdoch was born in Australia, but really, at this point, to me, he is a citizen of the country called Moneystan.
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