Kinja reply list

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Blood Cubic ZirconiaMelissa Cronin
1/10/16 2:50pm
A laminated menu of sex toys, condoms and lubricants sits by the bedside

Like shower caps and shampoo in non-sex hotels, the condoms and lube really should be gratis.
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  ArnheimBlood Cubic Zirconia
  1/10/16 2:52pm
  I’m assuming the cleaning bill for the linen is included in the room; perhaps that justifies the add-on sale of the tubes and lubes?
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  Blood Cubic ZirconiaArnheim
  1/10/16 2:55pm
  That’s probably right. Also, I realized this is a sex motel, not a sex hotel. Not Zagat rated either.
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cheerful_exgirlfriendMelissa Cronin
1/10/16 3:32pm
The reviews really don’t mention the sex hotel part, really makes me not trust TripAdvisor reviewers!

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  ihatebrascheerful_exgirlfriend
  1/10/16 3:39pm
  Oh wow... the reviews.... it’s like people didn’t know it was a sex hotel... or they did but you know who needs Kleenex and glasses when you have lube...
  
  Oh and does everyone there go with a dog?
  
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  cheerful_exgirlfriendihatebras
  1/10/16 3:42pm
  wtf happened between April and November that they no longer allowed pets??!!!
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Frankenbike666Melissa Cronin
1/10/16 3:16pm
He’ll be getting what he wanted: a movie made about him. It’s not like the producers were lying.

How could they not?
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  SktroopFrankenbike666
  1/10/16 3:29pm
  Hopefuly, it will be a Adam Sandler project, directed by Dennis Dugan and starring Rob Schneider as El Chapo. That would piss him off REAL GOOD!
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  Selfie-consciousSktroop
  1/10/16 4:54pm
  To late. James Franco has already bought the rights and making it into a Lifetime movie. But not a Lifetime movie.
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puttputtbuttMelissa Cronin
1/10/16 2:49pm
Guzman reportedly failed to tip the housekeeping staff earning him his new nickname, “El Cheapo”.
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  Deadly the Eternalputtputtbutt
  1/10/16 8:23pm
  
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UnderYetOverMelissa Cronin
1/10/16 3:00pm
The winner of the Powerball could not buy enough cleaning supplies to make that room truly clean again.
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  GregSamsaUnderYetOver
  1/10/16 3:04pm
  If I win, I’m buying the Playboy mansion and renting it out to the CDC for study.
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  MBCockGregSamsa
  1/10/16 3:31pm
  Apparently I picked a good day to return.
  
  The hotel staff kept asking how big my tip was.
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KaidogMelissa Cronin
1/10/16 5:30pm
A few years ago, Mr. Dog hired a construction crew to do some work at his place of business. We got to be friends with the foreman, a Mexican national in his forties who’d been working legally in the US since the eighties. His family remained in Chihuahua... All except for his 18 year old son, who he brought to the U.S. illegally in the mid-oughts.

Why, you might ask?

Because when this kid was in high school, he had the misfortune of attending a quincenera for a cousin at a farm outside of Chihuahua, which was attacked by a truckload of armed gang members. This kid was out at his uncle’s truck, getting something out of the cab, and one of the gang members just fucking shot him, before heading into the party and murdering a couple of the family members.

Even though he was shot a couple times in the chest, he miraculously survived -really nice young man, he came to a party we threw and showed me the scars. And I remember his dad saying something grim like, ‘A ellos no les gustan los sobrevivientes,’ (They don’t want survivors) so as soon as his kid was fit to travel, he took him north.

Fuck Guzman, fuck the people making this guy rich with their drug habits, and fuck Sean Penn straight to hell.
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  HeadlessDeschainKaidog
  1/10/16 6:29pm
  I enjoyed your post and story, right up until “fuck the people making this guy rich with their drug habits”.
  
  Way too close to “Fuck Martin Shreli, fuck his evil pharmaceutical cabal, and fuck the lowlife pieces of shit suffering with AIDS and supporting his continued opportunistic bullshit!”
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  Zoe is a ThugKaidog
  1/10/16 6:36pm
  I have friends in Guasave, about 20 minutes from Los Mochies, and I’ve been to Mochies because that’s the nearest airport. In the mid 90s I stayed with them for 4 months. I’m a text book white girl and barely spoke Spanish but I could walk around town alone. Because of this ass and his ilk it’s no longer safe for me to visit. It’s generally safe for the average person but an American sticks out and the gang assumes you have money and might kidnap you. Parts of the escape and capture are funny but this guy needs to be extradited and rot in super max.
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ArnheimMelissa Cronin
1/10/16 2:46pm
That second Rory Carroll tweet is gold.

Edit: Is it possible that the profundity with which El Chapo was screwed contributed to the short length of his stay? A+ for energetic effort, D- for stamina?
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  gilld'dragonArnheim
  1/10/16 2:52pm
  In a few concise words and with some wordplay Rory Carroll captures the multifaceted experience the capture(s) and escapes of El Chapo have been to the Mexican people: surreal, humorous, shameful, riddled with governmental waste and tinged with some violatory dread.
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  Sktroopgilld'dragon
  1/10/16 3:27pm
  So, except for the governmental waste part, basically the same as the Trump campaign?
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Sid and FinancyMelissa Cronin
1/10/16 3:36pm
That looks just like the apartment where my Mexican girlfriend lives — ha!

Oh, wait . . .
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AsomughatoMouthMelissa Cronin
1/10/16 5:24pm
So how much for the lube?

Asking for a friend.
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62imperialcrownMelissa Cronin
1/10/16 8:07pm
So do they have Tijuana Bibles in the bedside table?
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