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    GeorgeGeoffersonLivesAllie Jones
    12/21/15 3:20pm

    This is blatantly unconstitutional, right? I mean, a university can’t just test frat bros, right?

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      leftcoastlouGeorgeGeoffersonLives
      12/21/15 3:26pm

      This is also Alabama. I’m sure that the state has no problem with drug testing anyone, for any reason.

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      grizzle_grizzleGeorgeGeoffersonLives
      12/21/15 3:26pm

      i’m assuming there is some kind of agreement between the Frat and the University. Like how you have to agree to be drug tested to play high school sports.

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    LindaAllie Jones
    12/21/15 3:22pm

    That’s great but I think douche testing would better serve the university.

    Sorry, Josh you’re a 1.4 on the Douche scale. .9 is the limit.

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      WhippingPostLinda
      12/21/15 3:28pm

      Wouldn’t that mean his lady-regions would smell like “new car”?

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      Monsterparty711Linda
      12/21/15 3:29pm

      Douche testing at an SEC school would be catastrophic though.

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    GregoireAllie Jones
    12/21/15 3:23pm

    Christ, millennial are lame. Could you imagine a remake of Animal House filled with people on ‘Xanax bars’? Food fight! No wait I’m sleepy.

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      Jerry-NetherlandGregoire
      12/21/15 3:37pm

      Splitting 2mg Xanax tablets? Baby steps; wait ‘til they graduate to real dolls!

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      911DucktailGregoire
      12/21/15 3:38pm

      that whole movie is a nightmare of causes and concerns that would in no way be made today. Having a devil and an angel on your shoulder screaming ‘fuck her brains, screw her tits’ trying to get a dude to rape the underage shitfaced deans daughter? Wouldnt happen. Otis day? wouldnt happen. Undegrads banging professors and wearing their tweed, elbow-patched jacket? yeah that still would happen

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    DiscoInfernoSupressionSystemAllie Jones
    12/21/15 3:24pm

    An entire frat zombied-out on weed is strongly preferable to a bunch of frat guys on booze... or really any other kind of drug. Hell, a bunch of frat guys tweaking on caffeine isn’t a pretty sight.

    Just take their car keys, and make sure there’s enough Ben & Jerry’s at the local 7-11.

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      WhippingPostDiscoInfernoSupressionSystem
      12/21/15 3:27pm

      I spent A LOT of time working in Residential Life.

      What sticks out most for me was once during training our Dean of Students straight up told us, “We don’t care about the kids smoking weed... they don’t put holes in walls and push people off balconies”.

      This will solve nothing, because a whole frat stoned on ganja? not causing trouble. If you wanted to stop bad behavior you’d ban alcohol. The school can do that if they want to.

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      ThrumbolioWhippingPost
      12/21/15 3:43pm

      Yep. Worst fucking thing you’re liable to do while stoned is say “Hey, I heard that ‘Big Bang Theory’ show was worth a watch.”

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    ThrumbolioAllie Jones
    12/21/15 3:26pm

    Really, really, REALLY fucking dumb.

    Kids are going to get high. It’s going to happen. STOP FOCUSING ON THE OBJECTIVELY LEAST DANGEROUS DRUG AVAILABLE TO THEM.

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      NicoThrumbolio
      12/21/15 4:02pm

      On the upside, it's a great way to deter students from joining frats.

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      MidtownATLguyNico
      12/21/15 4:06pm

      That’s likely one of the unspoken goals.

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    butcherbakertoiletrymakerAllie Jones
    12/21/15 3:25pm

    Why the assumption that they are only testing for MJ? Depending on how they’ve budgeted the screening program, most drug tests of the “instant” variety will test for either 5 or 8 substances, including speed drugs, benzos and opiates. If they’re going for more of a full monty lab test, then there’s no telling what they’re shooting for. But to push this narrative that it’s just Demon Marijuana they’re testing for is likely bullshit. Besides, they only way you’re getting them to test for alcohol use that is more that a few hours old is to do blood screenings, and ain’t no way they’re going to be able to pull that one off.

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      Nicobutcherbakertoiletrymaker
      12/21/15 4:05pm

      It’s considered mainly for Marijuana because pot takes so long to leave your system. You can do cocaine and pass a drug test 2 days later, smoke one joint and it’ll be at least 7-11 days before you can pass one. Basically, pot is the only drug you can’t do on a Friday and pass a drug test on a Monday.

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      Lizabethie: of the New Worldbutcherbakertoiletrymaker
      12/21/15 4:23pm

      I’m not an expert here, so I welcome correct from others if I’m speculating incorrectly. I imagine there’s also lots of other drugs that could look like illegal on “dumb screens,” like Adderall and Ritlin. There’s also a lot of overlap with those drugs and legal prescriptions. Are they vetting all of these tests, or are they taking a mass approach and only looking for illegal drugs. (Should the bros avoid poppy seed bagels, to avoid testing positive for opiates?) How long does stuff like Adderall and the other stuff stay in their systems vs pot or Xanax?

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    Jerry-NetherlandAllie Jones
    12/21/15 3:28pm

    All confiscated goodies aside, isn’t the mainstay of frat parties still large quantities of plain old beer (administered creatively for mass consumption?

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      IanJerry-Netherland
      12/21/15 3:36pm

      Like they’re all suckling on penises...

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      Jerry-NetherlandIan
      12/21/15 3:40pm

      Funny how much of American fraternity activity is so blatently homerotic. The hazing probably involved actually sucking the real thing. But not in a gay way, of course(?).

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    A House In VirginiaAllie Jones
    12/21/15 3:38pm

    right. This exactly. Drug testing is stupid, pointless and maybe even harmful.

    ...how many years off do you think we are from corporate Amurrka getting rid of its’ cannabinophobia?

    If I were a corporation that fancied itself “the best” at something, this would be a good thing to get rid of (Don’t laugh at me: there are companies that pride themselves on being good; Accenture, for example, just got rid of SELF-APPRAISALS!).

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      Tidal TownA House In Virginia
      12/21/15 3:45pm

      Don’t laugh at me: there are companies that pride themselves on being good…

      I think there are probably lots of companies (and small businesses) that do. Not everyone is Coca-Cola or McDonald’s or Hobby Lobby or Wal-Mart or etc.

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      A House In VirginiaTidal Town
      12/21/15 3:50pm

      But still worse is the company who dumps millions into “best place to work for” PR without doing the actual work of making employees happy.

      LOL sorry had to put that in there.
      ...I’m totally burnt out on Corp Amurrka.

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    Ham' No's Discarded Spunk ShirtsAllie Jones
    12/21/15 3:24pm

    Dear Alabama Frat ‘Rents,

    It’s not the weed that makes Tyler and Landon and Brett and Brendan act like douchbags, it is you.

    And as Tedward Cruz, presidential candidate, I want to thank you. Without your militant stupidity, I wouldn’t be ahead in the polls today.

    Keep up the good work Alabama! Soon Summer’s Eve will be knocking down the door in the name of vaginal cleanliness for all!

    Tedward Cruz, 2016.

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      Jerry-NetherlandHam' No's Discarded Spunk Shirts
      12/21/15 3:32pm

      Don’t forget Beauregard and Jefferson. This is still the South we’re talking about.

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    neededaburnerforthisAllie Jones
    12/21/15 3:38pm

    This is the kind of thing that I’m completely against, but, like, ahh well fuck those guys.

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