Kinja reply list

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copyranterHamilton Nolan
12/17/15 10:49am
With logic like this, they’ve got my vote:

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  toothpetardcopyranter
  12/17/15 10:54am
  If you can still get a replacement video card for it, it’s not an apple.
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  kindergoth sissygeektoothpetard
  12/17/15 11:39am
  Apple: where the only thing you can download is the very latest version of our operating system. Hey it’s “free.”
  
  Never mind it’d cost 0.000006% of our budget to make all the earlier ones available. You do not want the latest and greatest? Heresy. You are not an Apple customer. You are not worthy of giving us your money.
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StenchofaburnerHamilton Nolan
12/17/15 9:56am
A government run by Apple: all government run facilities look shiny and pretty from the outside but the moment you step inside, it’s all operated by underfed and overworked civil servants who haven’t seen their families in six months.

A government run by Disney: a bunch of male, white civil servants get to wear funny costumes while they tell everyone how they are going to save the day. Meanwhile, all women in public service wear flowy dresses in pastel colors. Also, there are mice everywhere. In fact, a mouse has replaced the national flag and everyone gets to sing the theme song for Fantasia instead of the National Anthem.
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  cheerful_exgirlfriendStenchofaburner
  12/17/15 10:04am
  
  Take off your mouse ears when you sing the anthem! Show some respect!
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  BrianGriffinStenchofaburner
  12/17/15 10:34am
  Your description of a future government job sounds very much like...a current government job. Except our buildings are usually ugly.
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GregoireHamilton Nolan
12/17/15 9:52am
I’d vote for a Mr. Clean/Kool-Aid Man ticket for 2016. Sugary grape water and spotless kitchens for every American!
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  Yeah you could, but should you?Gregoire
  12/17/15 9:58am
  Mr Clean just seems so unapproachable.
  
  I’m a Cap’n Crunch man... always vote for a vet.
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  StenchofaburnerGregoire
  12/17/15 9:58am
  I think Metamucil would be an excellent Florida governor.
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Dave Hamilton Nolan
12/17/15 9:53am
I’m sorry, but anything I ask Siri is answered far more clearly, coherently and sane than any given Republican. I know who I am going to trust.
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  MyNomdePlumeisPaperMateDave
  12/17/15 9:56am
  Don’t trust Siri, Rebublicans, or Democrats. None of these give a fuck about you.
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  OpenSourceDWORDDave
  12/17/15 10:03am
  having neverhad a productive Siri experience myself, I still agree with you.
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Rom RombertsHamilton Nolan
12/17/15 10:04am
Convert all National Parks to Disney-themed nightmares. The Wonderful World of Glacier National Park. Ride the gondola to the ghost of a glacier and be sure to take a picture with an actress portraying Pocahontas. See real live grizzly bears vomit as they spin forever inside of a teacup ride on top of Swiftcurrent Mountain.

Somewhere, Mickey Mouse is abseiling from a stealth helicopter. He enters a ramshackle compound, eliminates three watchmen with a silenced rifle and slices the throat of his primary target, a man with olive skin and a wiry beard. Blood stains his bubble-thick white-gloved hands. He will try to sleep once he gets back to base, but his eyes cannot close. He remembers the sound of laughter.
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benjaminalloverHamilton Nolan
12/17/15 9:54am
Makes sense. You have brands, and you have representatives who are owned by one or several brands. They have the same incentives, and at least those incentives would be perfectly transparent with brands.
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  jokepitchbenjaminallover
  12/17/15 10:38am
  Yeah. Just cut out the middle man.
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SpringSprungHamilton Nolan
12/17/15 9:58am
While I don’t necessarily agree, I can see why so many people think corporations would run the government better. The companies mentioned at least create, do, manage something every once in a while. The only thing the current crop of pinheads we have running the show seem to be capable of is trying to roll back the ACA for the eleven billionth time or introducing brave bills to “save Christmas” every year.
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ArdenHamilton Nolan
12/17/15 10:04am
I’d love to see Apple in charge of America. Think about it: all the hard labour jobs will be replaced with Chinese people so overworked that they jump off buildings, and the American government would become so small it could fit inside a filing cabinet that’s headquartered in Sweden for tax purposes.

It’ll be awesome!
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pazuzuHamilton Nolan
12/17/15 10:38am
Call me naive, but isn’t the West already run by corporations? I mean, the lobbying industry is fucking huge and politicians get elected based on super PACs that get their money from corporations that ask for quid pro quo. Politicians only make decisions that benefit the corporate interests, anyway, so aren’t we already there?
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  Nicopazuzu
  12/17/15 12:40pm
  That's why you should Feel The Bern! There is a candidate free of corporate sponsors, and goodness only knows if we'll ever see another.
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Frankenbike666Hamilton Nolan
12/17/15 11:05am
It’s not really surprising. I mean, you buy an Apple product, you know what it will do. They’re reliable at doing that. This is less true with Disney products, which are a matter of opinion.

I worked for Disney for 7 years, with a lapel pin and retirement plan to prove it. If you don’t like government bureaucracy, you’re looking at the wrong company.

Government doesn’t work, because people keep electing politicians from a party that is dedicated to proving government doesn’t work.
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