Kinja reply list

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Cocopop!Tracy Moore
12/20/15 4:19pm
“But the main takeaway for researchers, and us, is simple: Why marry the cow when living with it will do just as well?”

I did live with one other guy before I moved in with the guy I would eventually marry, and when we split I had this conversation with my grandmother-

“Dear, I hope you won’t mind my saying this, but there is an old saying- the more things change, the more they stay the same...”

“Oh...”

“...they also say why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.”

“Pardon me? Um...”

“What I’m saying is, if you hadn’t have moved in with him, maybe he would have married you.”

“But, Grandma, I broke up with him, so...”

This did not compute for Grandma and resulted in future conversations in which she warned me about the dangers of Free Love, the Occult, and Female Problems, but it was years before I understood the cow/milk analogy. I literally pictured someone reaching through a fence to milk a cow. I found this image very confusing.

When I finally figured it out I was pissed. What a load of bullshit.

Grandma died before I got married. The last time I saw her, on her deathbed, I told her that I was seeing someone, and it was serious. I told her, Grandma, this is the one. I told her that we were going to his godson’s birthday party the next day.

“That’s nice, dear. Good clean fun.”

Fuck, Grandma- that’s cold. You basically managed to imply that I was a slut one last time, on your deathbed, that I took a break from slutting it up to go to a kid’s birthday party. Jesus.

To anyone who has read this far- You are not a cow. If you were, your milk would not be for sale. If you wanted to share your milk, that would be your business. It’s your milk.
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  as ripley said to the android bishopCocopop!
  12/20/15 4:34pm
  OH MY GOD THIS IS WHY MY MILKSHAKE BRINGS ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD
  
  But then again, at various points of my life I’ve Oprah-ed my milk. You get some milk! And YOU get some milk! You all get some milk!
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  Cocopop!as ripley said to the android bishop
  12/20/15 4:37pm
  
  GIF
  
  Like this, but with milk. Look how happy everyone is.
  
  Also, who wouldn’t want to come to the yard? Yowza.
  
  GIF
  
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Lady CatTracy Moore
12/20/15 3:39pm
Yeah, but if you don't get married how will you get all those useless presents on your registry?
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  sukatraLady Cat
  12/20/15 4:20pm
  OR THE RING????? MUST HAVE THE RING!!!!!!
  
  Seriously, I used to dream about getting a huge-ass ring.
  
  And I don't even like to wear rings.
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  Octopit didn't choose the burrito life, the burrito life chose octopit.Lady Cat
  12/20/15 4:22pm
  Like on one hand, I don’t want to be with another human or love anyone but myself and my cats BUT ON THE OTHER HAND, I want a really good blender. My blender now BARELY blends. I also want a mixer because manual whisking is for SUCKERS.
  
  So maybe I should consider marriage.
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Slay.douché - (dreams to be a puppy)Tracy Moore
12/20/15 4:01pm
The thing is - as highlighted by the same sex marriage debate - there are still many cultural/legal benefits, regulations and bureaucratic details that favor “married” couples.

It would be *so GREAT* if there was some “cohabitation designation” that could also receive such.
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  zoe_koala (on_a_tricycle)Slay.douché - (dreams to be a puppy)
  12/20/15 4:20pm
  Yes! Taxes are so much better when married, this is a scandal. Not only couple save by living together and sharing fixed cost and health insurance, they also have tax breaks.
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  Slay.douché - (dreams to be a puppy)zoe_koala (on_a_tricycle)
  12/20/15 4:27pm
  YES!
  Seriously think if these oversights were fixed, marriage rates would totally *drop*. Alas the wedding planner industry probably has far reaching lobbyists. *sigh*
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GELLA - LLAPTracy Moore
12/20/15 4:08pm
but if you are not in serious relationship or not married and reproduced by certain age, society will think there is something wrong with you.
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  iseedeaddaleksGELLA - LLAP
  12/20/15 4:10pm
  ain’t that the truth.
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  Slay.douché - (dreams to be a puppy)GELLA - LLAP
  12/20/15 4:14pm
  So sadly true.
  Ridiculous, making the country seem so stuck in the past.
  Yet blindly conformed to, even by people who should know better (ESPECIALLY prevalent during the holiday season).
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sukatraTracy Moore
12/20/15 4:19pm
“children had out of wedlock”

“out of wedlock" sounds like something my grandmother would say if she hadn't been dead since 1989.
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  hockygrrl4 aka DuckPoolsukatra
  12/20/15 4:34pm
  That is one of those phrases that will be hanging on the air like a rancid fart when I finally snap.
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  Slay.douché - (dreams to be a puppy)sukatra
  12/20/15 4:35pm
  It really sounds like such a “Hear ye, hear ye Ren Faire” type of saying.
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catinahothatTracy Moore
12/20/15 3:34pm
Wow, I read Kamp Dush as Damp Kush and was super confused for a moment.

No shit Damp Kush decreases emotional distress.

:D
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  NoMoreDJscatinahothat
  12/20/15 3:57pm
  We’re on the same level.
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  Octopit didn't choose the burrito life, the burrito life chose octopit.catinahothat
  12/20/15 4:20pm
  You and I are the same. Let’s hang out, with some damp kush.
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AnnaTracy Moore
12/20/15 4:11pm
Well, it’s not “just as beneficial” legally, especially in terms of taxes and such. (One will recall that throughout the same-sex marriage debate, one issue that was consistently brought up was that gay couples were excluded from not only the social benefits of marriage, but the legal benefits.)

It really is high time that we establish an official legal status for committed, cohabitating couples who aren’t married. Frankly, the old “civil/domestic partnership” language should do just fine. Anyway, there needs to be a legal designation for people who are indefinitely, rather than “permanently,” functioning as a partnership. It would be more efficient and fair when they’re together, for things like taxes and medical crises, and also for the breakup process.
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accordingtoTracy Moore
12/20/15 5:12pm
But health insurance tho.
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  Octopit didn't choose the burrito life, the burrito life chose octopit.accordingto
  12/20/15 6:38pm
  God I would marry the SHIT out of someone who had good insurance. Like, I just want Kaiser. I want it so bad.
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KendradicalTracy Moore
12/20/15 3:40pm
If women have a similar decrease in emotional distress when moving in with a partner as when they marry, wouldn’t that mean that their emotional distress is decreased twice, though? Unless I’m reading the statistics wrong, I’d take that to mean that marriage further decreases the emotional distress, which would still make marriage more beneficial than simply cohabiting (unless, I supposed, if a couple only moved in together after they were married). I’m also not super surprised, especially as women nowadays are waiting longer to get married and many people seem to consider long-term relationships where you live together to be as committed as marriages are.
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yilichiyaoTracy Moore
12/20/15 4:44pm
Currently moving out from cohabitation experiment number 2. It sucks way worse than a break up. Ugh.
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