Kinja reply list

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Bernie's DanderAllie Jones
12/15/15 6:27pm
Jeez...the woman’s brother dies and you go on ridiculing her every day?? I guess I am missing the joke here.
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  Emerald D.V.Bernie's Dander
  12/15/15 6:32pm
  I believe you’ll find that Days 520 through 523 were left silent out of respect for her brother’s passing. You’re missing much more than “the joke” if you can’t even check that.
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  Krillin & Chillin, Oatin & BoatinBernie's Dander
  12/15/15 6:33pm
  I don’t see any ridiculing taking place in this post or the post yesterday. So yeah, I’d say your definitely missing the joke, but your mom certainly didn’t miss it last night.
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Jamie Lynn's PeersAllie Jones
12/15/15 6:16pm
I eliminated the middle man and just started rubbing krill and oaty cup right on the skin.
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  Peen O'Grigio: Ejia-approved ???Jamie Lynn's Peers
  12/15/15 6:48pm
  Needs mayo.
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  Krillin & Chillin, Oatin & BoatinPeen O'Grigio: Ejia-approved ???
  12/15/15 7:00pm
  Coconut Kefir is the preferred milky white substance
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bloodlesscoupAllie Jones
12/15/15 6:42pm
Day 325:

I am at a LOSS for what to get my family for Christmas. I got some custom portraits done by a friend (like, deliberately awful laser cat photos that are kind of a punishment for my family getting me such deeply impersonal birthday presents), but I need to get a LITTLE bit more. Specifically, my brother. He’s nearly 30 and has a lifestyle that’s very Sharper Image. I think I’ll just get him a Macy’s gift card.

I got my parents a cheap Galileo thermometer in addition to the Cat Portraits, but I feel like I should get SOMETHING sort of heartfelt. Maybe.

Ugh the holidays suck. If I ever have children, I'm not doing this.
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  eXtoferbloodlesscoup
  12/15/15 6:48pm
  I'm sure your parents are very proud of their daughter.
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  Peen O'Grigio: Ejia-approved ???bloodlesscoup
  12/15/15 6:53pm
  When I had a working oven I would push baked goods so hard on family you’d think the confectioner’s sugar was really cocaine.
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MidwestoceanAllie Jones
12/15/15 6:21pm
Her brother was found dead a few days ago. I don’t get the point of these articles. I assume they aren’t written to honor her; in fact I presume they exist to point out the banality of an N list celebrity whose 15 minutes has dragged on. Maybe these articles are a social experiment and I am the 6,347 person to make a familiar point. Over all I do not begrudge her for trying to carve a niche for herself. As a fellow human I can only sympathize with her pain while wondering how she feels about these articles.
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  melliemMidwestocean
  12/15/15 6:24pm
  You miscounted, you are the 6,511 person to try and make that point. #math
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  Emerald D.V.Midwestocean
  12/15/15 6:24pm
  *articels
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Cylontater: Genital WhispererAllie Jones
12/15/15 6:13pm
Make-up is bullshit.

I'll leave that nonsense to professionals like Kristin.
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  melliemCylontater: Genital Whisperer
  12/15/15 6:14pm
  That type of advice will cost you, dearly.
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  Emerald D.V.melliem
  12/15/15 6:16pm
  $2.99 a month?
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a seahorseAllie Jones
12/15/15 6:11pm

The doctor is in.
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  Peen O'Grigio: Ejia-approved ???a seahorse
  12/15/15 6:20pm
  Who’s awesome? You’re awesome.
  
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  Emerald D.V.Peen O'Grigio: Ejia-approved ???
  12/15/15 6:23pm
  She’s even cradling the bump, despite it not being there anymore.
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melliemAllie Jones
12/15/15 6:13pm
Tina C. from Queens, NY writes on Yelp:

I’ve receive a sample of Dr. Hauschka Skin Care Inc.’s Moisturizing Day Cream which I needed to replinish [sic] my skin in the day time as well as renewing my softness during the night. I found it okay as it dried my skin and the cream was very rich, thick glob.

It did not renew her softness, apparently.
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  a seahorsemelliem
  12/15/15 6:22pm
  I can't stop lolling at the word glob
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  a seahorsemelliem
  12/15/15 6:22pm
  Jay cutler is a rich, thick glob
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Psychopomps: Taking Gawker to the Great Blog in the SkyAllie Jones
12/15/15 6:13pm
Your eyebrows are filled with worm-like mites that live in your follicles and feed on your skin oil, a food so perfect the mites no longer have anuses through which to defecate. A related species on dogs causes mange. #biologyoftheskin
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  melliemPsychopomps: Taking Gawker to the Great Blog in the Sky
  12/15/15 6:15pm
  Those worm-like mites are on fleek.
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  Cylontater: Genital WhispererPsychopomps: Taking Gawker to the Great Blog in the Sky
  12/15/15 6:15pm
  THANKS FOR THE NIGHTMARES.
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crouching tigerAllie Jones
12/15/15 6:18pm
Skin tip from Tiger: I never bathe, which is great for my skin’s ecology. Viruses, bacteria, and small mites and other multicellular organisms feast on the dead skin, oils, and fur. Also, it is thrifty.

TL;DR: ecology beats biology.
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  KinglyCitruscrouching tiger
  12/15/15 6:23pm
  But ecology IS biology!
  
  #wakeupsheeple
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  HunterPenceNoneTheRichercrouching tiger
  12/15/15 6:26pm
  but isnt that
  
  (throws on shades, Horatio Cain style)
  
  MICRO-BIOLOGY?
  
  YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH
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maybethisburnerwillstickAllie Jones
12/15/15 6:16pm
Nothing clever to say on day 322?
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  Letsgobowlingmaybethisburnerwillstick
  12/15/15 6:23pm
  Go fuck yourself. Don’t act so holy and pretend you suddenly care about Kristin. We do, but you know you don’t really give a fuck.
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  logophobe, desperate dadmaybethisburnerwillstick
  12/15/15 6:32pm
  Oh shit guys, somebody finally pointed this out for the 10,000th time. Looks like we better shut it down.
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