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    Wayward ApologySam Biddle
    12/14/15 2:20pm

    The only thing surprising about this is that it didn’t casually mention how large his penis is.

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      SpringSprungWayward Apology
      12/14/15 2:25pm

      Yuuuugggeeeee.

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      Dammitpam reduxWayward Apology
      12/14/15 2:30pm

      “Mr. Trump’s penis is the largest and most luxurious I’ve ever seen. Very classy.”

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    matt.maraSam Biddle
    12/14/15 2:38pm

    The language in that letter is all kinds of screwed-up. To wit:

    - “To Whom My Concern” is not an actual phrase
    - A recent medical exam returned “only positive results.” Doubtful, even for someone in excellent physical health.
    - Blood pressure of 110/65 is what one might expect in a perfectly healthy human being with no rage or anger issues. Trump is not perfectly healthy, but we can rest assured that he has rage and anger issues.
    - “Over the past twelve months he has lost at least fifteen pounds.” (Yeah, in his head maybe.) Because someone like Trump wouldn’t obsessively keep track of that. Or have someone obsessively keep track of that for him.
    - “...takes...a low dose of statin.” Y’know, I don’t think you take statin if you’re in “excellent health.”
    - “...no history of ever using alcohol...” That’s bullshit. There are photographs of him drinking liquor.

    His life seems built on this idea of using nothing but superlatives. His ego is shored up by such language. And when confronted with anything other than superlatives, he goes on the offensive.

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      m9105826matt.mara
      12/14/15 2:46pm

      Having personally watched Trump puff down 4 or 5 cigars on a golf outing, I’m led to believe that this entire note is a massive load of bullshit.

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      weebleswobblematt.mara
      12/14/15 2:46pm

      only positive results

      This is also not language a doctor would use, as positive results in medicine often mean there is something wrong. (i.e. a positive PSA test indicates possible cancer, not a good thing).

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    SpringSprungSam Biddle
    12/14/15 2:23pm

    Lenox Hill Hospital staff photo of Dr. Bornstein:

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      Cam/ronSpringSprung
      12/14/15 2:25pm

      “Did you go to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College, too?”

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      justindehelCam/ron
      12/14/15 2:32pm

      Seriously baby, I can prescribe anything I want.

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    BusySeasonBluesSam Biddle
    12/14/15 2:20pm

    Honestly...You almost have to tip your cap and awe in amazement that his Doctor is using the same campaign rhetoric as Trump. So many adjectives, so many superlatives, it’s almost overwhelming.

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      festivusaziliBusySeasonBlues
      12/14/15 2:27pm

      I am also impressed that Trump managed to find the doctor version of himself.

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      MaryTylerMoore'sHairFlipBusySeasonBlues
      12/14/15 2:31pm

      He wrote that out for the Doctor and had the Doctor sign it.

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    GrumpyEagleSam Biddle
    12/14/15 2:33pm

    Even though Andrew Jackson was an unrepentant bastard in so many ways, I’ll never tire of hearing that beating-the-shit-out-of-his-failed-assassin story. Don't mess with a sociopath, especially an elderly one.

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      KomradKickassGrumpyEagle
      12/14/15 2:45pm

      http://www.history.com/news/shot-in-t…

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      GrumpyEagleKomradKickass
      12/14/15 2:55pm

      Loved that one too. I'm a big TR fan, and saw his glasses case at the Smithsonian. Ever read "River of Doubt"? Great chronicle of his last big adventure.

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    MaryTylerMoore'sHairFlipSam Biddle
    12/14/15 2:22pm

    I’m surprised we didn’t get information on how many times he poops a day. I mean really that would show us how healthy he is. I’d like to know the quality. From what comes out of his mouth I’d say it’s runny and burns his ass on the way out.

    I thought I’d seen every disgusting picture of Trump possible. But that picture of him eating, whatever the heck that greasy thing is, tops it.

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      EllaCindersMaryTylerMoore'sHairFlip
      12/14/15 2:27pm

      He doesn’t poop because he is made of 100% shit.

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      bourgeoismiddlemanMaryTylerMoore'sHairFlip
      12/14/15 2:29pm

      Porkchoponnastick. One word, like it’s German. Iowa State Fair is the best State Fair.

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    Sorely VexedSam Biddle
    12/14/15 2:27pm

    This “doctor’s” note reads like a North Korean press release. It’s not enough that Trump is apparently healthy, all his readings are “extraordinary,” “astonishingly excellent,” and “only positive.”

    Strangely, this tendency to speak in superlatives is a defining characteristic or Trump himself. What an amazing coincidence he managed to find a doctor who employs exactly the same communication style.

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      ARP2Sorely Vexed
      12/14/15 2:56pm

      Such a coincidence. The sad part is that some doctor agreed to plug in the numbers and the sign the document as written by Trump’s people.

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    IAMBlastedBiggsLostBurnerSam Biddle
    12/14/15 2:21pm

    “That man there is a foul bastion of gluttony and avarice that I could still tame with the heavy end of my walking stick, and I'm not even alive! Methinks his quack of a physician could barely even spell 'arse', which is what I would beat of his!"—the ghost of Andy Jackson

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      HecateBarTheDoorIAMBlastedBiggsLostBurner
      12/14/15 3:31pm

      Wow, it’s like I am there! You go, Ghost Jackson!

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      IAMBlastedBiggsLostBurnerHecateBarTheDoor
      12/14/15 3:38pm

      "Quiet, ruffian! Continued interruption will eventually force my hand to take drastic action against ye! I shall act upon my desire to get all upwards towards your face, which is shockingly representative of the grill!"

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    lethekkSam Biddle
    12/14/15 2:23pm

    So how badly was this doctor in debt until recently?

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      SpringSprunglethekk
      12/14/15 2:26pm

      Those medical school loans don’t repay themselves, my friend.

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      Harvey Manfredjendsenlethekk
      12/14/15 2:27pm

      In all fairness, what he meant was “he’s lucky not to be beaten to death for eating his pizza with a fork” healthy

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    The Noble RenardSam Biddle
    12/14/15 2:26pm

    Let’s count the number of superlatives in this press release written by Trump himself and signed by his doctor:

    “only positive”

    “astonishingly excellent”

    “extraordinary”

    “excellent”

    “healthiest ever”

    Mr. Trump, your writing shows.

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      LvnTheDreamThe Noble Renard
      12/14/15 3:00pm

      Astonishingly excellent is by far my favorite. I’m going to start using that one. My cat is the most astonishingly excellent cat in the history of the world. And, my car battery - astonishingly excellent. I am also the most astonishingly excellent hiker and birder in the history of hiking and birdwatching and my binoculars? Let me tell you about my binoculars - they are SOOOOO excellent - that they are actually......ASTONISHINGLY excellent. My hiking shoes were astronishingly excellent when I bought them, but, they are a little used now, so, now they are simply extraordinary.

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