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    LandoficeandsnowMelissa Cronin
    12/12/15 6:39pm

    In a just world Ted Cruz would become President. Then Ted Cruz would spend four years being stymied by the next generation of presidential hopefuls who would copy his obstructionist tactics because hey, that’s how you become President. Since I am Canadian, I think this would be great entertainment and can hardly wait.

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      OhGoodnessTheyHaveLasersLandoficeandsnow
      12/12/15 6:49pm

      Little secret: REPUBLICANS CAN’T WIN GENERALS We don’t bring it up enough, but it’s fact. Which means, a lot of billionaires are spending a lot of money, on people who can’t win.

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      TRUMP DELENDUS EST (fka Chatham Harrison)Landoficeandsnow
      12/12/15 6:57pm

      Uh, a President Cruz would have near-total control over judicial appointments. Do you want us to grow a brand-new bumper crop of future Scalias and Alitos? Because you really, really shouldn’t want that.

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    Watchu Talkin Bout WillisMelissa Cronin
    12/12/15 6:26pm

    That’s right Americans, I Ted Cruz, do blow.

    Americans, this should not be news to you. I’ve been the canary in the coal mine for some time now. My pathetic attempts to railroad all forms of recognizable government stand to net me a tidy profit...not to mention put me in great favor with the Dark Lord.

    You see America, when I feast upon the bones of your children, I will be doing so in the name of freedom and deregulation. Let no man tear asunder what grows to feed the belly of Cthulu.

    Just as my Lord shepherds me, so do I shepherd America to the blood alter of the Dark Lord Himself.

    A Vote For Me Is A Vote For Hell’s Heart!

    Tedward Cruz 2016!

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      JasperWatchu Talkin Bout Willis
      12/12/15 6:29pm

      Roasted, or deep fried?

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      Jerry-NetherlandWatchu Talkin Bout Willis
      12/12/15 6:30pm

      Considering what he says now, imagine how paranoid he’d be if he did do blow!.

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    ErnekidMelissa Cronin
    12/12/15 6:32pm

    I'm not American. I'm genuinely curious. Do these polls mean anything whatsoever? Why is the US media obsessed about what a very small number of people in Iowa might think? Why is Iowa so important anyway it's not like it is anyway representative of the wider USA.

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      CAPTAINOHErnekid
      12/12/15 6:33pm

      They don't mean shit. But we enjoy a feeding frenzy so we go with them.

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      akbariusErnekid
      12/12/15 6:41pm

      There are many complicated answers to your questions (and they are very good questions that American’s SHOULD be asking every election) but it boils down to this: Our election/caucus system is profoundly stupid and unfair. None of it makes any sense.

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    FlamingTelepathMelissa Cronin
    12/12/15 6:30pm

    Go ahead, nominate Ted Cruz. I for one will enjoy the fuck out of watching him get landslided.

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      flamingolingoFlamingTelepath
      12/12/15 7:05pm

      Even other Republicans hate Cruz. He’s a smarmy fuck to everyone. He might win Iowa, but he won’t win the nomination.

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      FlamingTelepathflamingolingo
      12/12/15 7:15pm

      I know he won’t. It still would be fun to watch him get destroyed by any person, or even any houseplant, with a “D” next to his/her/its name.

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    GregoireMelissa Cronin
    12/12/15 6:24pm

    It’s a very fucked up world when we momentarily breathe a sigh of relief because Trump is being trumped .... by a slightly less raving lunatic.

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      BananaJewGregoire
      12/12/15 6:25pm

      Cruz is worse than Trump on most issues. He just doesnt have the air time to express himself.

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      yeppers12345679Gregoire
      12/12/15 6:26pm

      Yes, but at least the raving lunatics lined up behind him seem to be subject to the rules of political discourse, no matter how messed up they are?

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    Montauk MonsterMelissa Cronin
    12/12/15 6:35pm

    One of the most shocking things about Ted Cruz is that motherfucker is only 44 years old. Same age as Rubio. Eight years younger than Rand Paul. I mean that putz has got a face like a corn chip. Only 44. Insane.

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      NefertittiesMontauk Monster
      12/12/15 6:56pm

      I will be 44 in a few months and so will my boyfriend. Neither he, nor I, nor any of our friends who are roughly the same age look as old-fashioned as that fucker. It’s as though he is both timeless and dated at once.

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      Pumpkin Andy is OrangeNefertitties
      12/12/15 7:16pm

      I heard him use the expression “Jiminy Cricket” on TV recently. Like he was Christian swearing.

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    teroteroteroMelissa Cronin
    12/12/15 6:43pm

    Rubio just does not catch on. Establishment has been pimping him so hard, but there is no traction. Only crazies on top.

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      Leftyteroterotero
      12/12/15 6:50pm

      Establishment Republicans are funny, they like you said are trying to “pimp Rubio “ hard. The thing is Rubio in a Republican party that is very very conservative, is himself rather moderate. 1 trillion in new military spending, 1 trillion in a new entitlement. Democrats are avoiding this mess by abandoning this principle and nominating the female version of Mitt Romney- a moderate who will say anything to get elected. This election is just showing how useless the election process has become, and how stupid the American electorate is. In any civilized country Sanders would be the liberal candidate, and Clinton the conservative one.

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      Montauk Monsterteroterotero
      12/12/15 6:52pm

      I really don’t get it, “blandly attractive dude” is their best bet in the general. It’s like everyone decided Mitt Romney’s big problem was that he was too handsome so they’re going to try the opposite this time.

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    jafpro16Melissa Cronin
    12/12/15 9:28pm

    Actually Trump got a 2% bump since the last Des Moines Register poll. It was Carson dropped precipitously in the polls, and all his voters went to Cruz. But if you compare the charts of the first three states Iowa was always going to be the toughest state for him to win:

    Iowa:

    http://www.realclearpolitics.com/epolls/2016/pr…

    New Hampshire:

    http://www.realclearpolitics.com/epolls/2016/pr…

    South Carolina:

    http://www.realclearpolitics.com/epolls/2016/pr…

    Also notice Trump didn’t get into first in Iowa until the end of August. For the other states it was the end of July. Iowa has always been tentative on Trump. When Carson was the flavor of the week you saw the same Iowa surge you are seeing for Cruz.

    http://www.desmoinesregister.com/story/news/pol…

    Take-a-way here is his Islamophobic comments this week were no game changer.

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      RobLymanjafpro16
      12/12/15 10:42pm

      I think at issue this time around is that Cruz isn’t just a bible-thumper but has all sorts of hard-right credentials to make him a competitive national candidate in the GOP. He is probably the 2nd richest republican in terms of campaign and super-pac money after Bush. The Trump camp should be very concerned.

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      JohnTChancejafpro16
      12/12/15 10:51pm

      And as we all know, Iowa always picks the eventual winner. President Rick Santorum taught me that.

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    sui_generisMelissa Cronin
    12/12/15 7:12pm

    Wait — how is this uptick in Cruz’s numbers logically related to Trump’s anti-Muslim stance? Didn’t Cruz say almost the same thing, just qualifying it to only refugees...? That seems nearly as bad in its motivations and essentials, to me.

    Trump is dangerous because he’s a clown, but he’s ultimately a moron and a buffoon. He’s not fooling anyone. Cruz, on the other hand, is dangerous because he comes by nearly the same views through planning and forethought, and still believes them — and is smart enough to sneak them by the electorate.

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      kindergoth sissygeeksui_generis
      12/12/15 7:46pm

      It’s sorta like telling women they can be raped by a stranger leaping out of the bushes, or by their abusive boyfriend: then expecting them to be consoled because of having a “choice” in the matter.

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      crouching tigersui_generis
      12/12/15 7:46pm

      Trump’s numbers are up, in the article above. Others lost support, though.

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    skefflesMelissa Cronin
    12/12/15 6:34pm

    The worst thing about Trump is that somehow he managed to make Cruz look like a moderate.

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      99Telep☺dpr☹blemsskeffles
      12/12/15 7:15pm

      Trump has stretched the Overton Window into such a hideous Goatse that it makes Cruz seem reasonable.

      Hopefully the majority of Americans will still recognize Cruz is slathered in batshit come election time.

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      Sqarr99Telep☺dpr☹blems
      12/12/15 7:22pm

      I’m hoping this boost in the polls will give Teddy more air time, like it did for Trump and Carson, so we can all get a better look at the horrors within.

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