Kinja reply list

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rslwnJoanna Rothkopf
12/10/15 4:55pm
a vagina is actually not a manhole. You can’t just fall into one.

Next in rape apologia: Well, if she hadn’t wanted to be raped, she would have used one of these:

or even better, one of these:

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  Luckier (sometimes Luckless, sometimes Luckiest)rslwn
  12/10/15 4:59pm
  What, rslwn, your ladybits don’t feature an engraving of a map of downtown Seattle? Just me then.
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  wafflesfriendsworkLuckier (sometimes Luckless, sometimes Luckiest)
  12/10/15 5:01pm
  man I WISH
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ChalupaBatwoman got a new work computerJoanna Rothkopf
12/10/15 4:55pm
Don’t respond to Brad Gates guys, its the tomato troll. I’m shocked you still have the same handle dude, you've kept this one for a minute.
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  augustaycChalupaBatwoman got a new work computer
  12/10/15 5:04pm
  I can’t believe the dedication to this tomato theme. It’s mind boggling.
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  ChalupaBatwoman got a new work computeraugustayc
  12/10/15 5:17pm
  He isn't being as incendiary either, just mildly obnoxious. I think he's trying to get Gawker to profile him like they did with that Ken troll person.
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AnonymousCivilPersonJoanna Rothkopf
12/10/15 4:54pm
Dr. Cox: “Look... First of all, it’s not like you tripped and fell into her... and then out of her... and then into her... again.”

GIF

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  ChaliceInkAnonymousCivilPerson
  12/10/15 5:55pm
  No, I think... maybe... Quick sand. Yeah.
  
  Her vagina was like quick sand. He’d try to pull his penis out, but her vagina kept sucking it back in because... quick sand.
  
  Or alternatively black hole or lady vacuum?
  
  Anyway... It’s science, people. It’s clearly really complicated.
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  rampalaAnonymousCivilPerson
  12/10/15 6:09pm
  Thank you! I mean, seriously, if your rape defense is a Scrubs joke... you should kind of go to jail just for that very reason.
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32_FootstepsJoanna Rothkopf
12/10/15 5:04pm
Few can resist the vaginal gravity well. That’s why women should avoid congregating; it could create a world-destroying uterine singularity.
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  Trasno32_Footsteps
  12/10/15 5:17pm
  
  Like this? (From here)
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  Calls From the Public32_Footsteps
  12/10/15 5:18pm
  Shit’s more dangerous than a black hole!
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meowshittybrowncowJoanna Rothkopf
12/10/15 4:54pm
ew ew ew. this is too much like my rape story, where i woke up (naked) with him humping my leg. i’m not sure what happened when i was drugged but i don’t think i really want to.
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  MeMeMeMineMineMineNowNowNowmeowshittybrowncow
  12/10/15 5:10pm
  Oh, ack. How horrid.
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  celestialseasoningmeowshittybrowncow
  12/10/15 10:42pm
  I’m so sorry that happened to you.
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deerlady83Joanna Rothkopf
12/10/15 4:56pm

GIF

You were walking around without pants and she didn’t have pants on. You trip and fall into her vagina with your penis fitting perfectly. Really?
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  laurenjaydeerlady83
  12/10/15 6:46pm
  Favorite gif everrrrrrrrr
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KendradicalJoanna Rothkopf
12/10/15 6:22pm
So you’re not only a sick, twisted rapist, you’re also dumber than a hunk of fossilized horse shit. Way to go, bro. #winning

Now, please, go fall ass first into a flaming cactus that’s covered in fire ants.
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  ToscaKendradical
  12/10/15 6:54pm
  I’d rather he fell dick first. Unless you mean that the flaming fire-ant covered cactus “accidentally” penetrates him. I’m good with that.
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  KendradicalTosca
  12/10/15 7:36pm
  I should have been more clear - I definitely meant for the firey, biting ant covered cactus to penetrate him.
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montgirlJoanna Rothkopf
12/10/15 5:01pm
Please tell me that she immediately called somebody so that her friend was not left sleeping in an apartment with a rapist? I mean, I’m not going to blame her for getting out of there after being unable to wake her friend. But I hope her friend also got out of there quickly.
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  BootyBeepmontgirl
  12/10/15 5:19pm
  For real, my first thought!
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  thewiredknightmontgirl
  12/10/15 6:20pm
  When your first instinct is a fight or flight response and you’re stacking trauma on top of it, the memory becomes a VERY faulty thing. It’s every tragic for the friend but it can happen.
  
  I have a friend who actually was mugged while walking with his brother. The brother actually ran further towards danger to hide behind a garbage bin, rather than the opposite direction into public where he could have called for help. Once you’re in danger, most people don’t think clearly.
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RossJoanna Rothkopf
12/10/15 5:22pm
I don’t know if this is the place for this (read: it probably isn’t)

I just feel terror for women when I read these accounts. When I, a gay man, was in my first year of University I became so out-of-it drunk that after quite a lot of throwing up I tried to walk myself back to my dorm only to fall down, and luckily be guided the rest of the way by two friends out of the blue.

Upon getting home this chap, who I had had sex with, called me up, I stupidly answered. He told me he wanted to come around, after I’d continued to be sick after I’d got in (and had those drunk shakes where you can’t sleep for fear of more sickness). I tried to kindly explain that I was feeling pretty rough and couldn’t possibly be good company, he babbled some and I said a rapid g’bye and hung up.

He kept texting and texting and - being a first year I didn’t want to sound like a dick to a guy who had only been sweet in the past - I kept replying for some time, apologising that it was my fault I was a mess that night and suggesting we could meet another time.

At some point I stopped responding, though I could hear my phone buzz. I started to drift off and whilst I didn’t hear the buzz at the flat door I woke up to him knocking on mine (my well meaning flatmate let him in). We got on in my flat so my door was unlocked. As he staggered towards me in bed I just insisted that I reeked of puke and he really would be best to go (even saying that another time would be better).

It was then that he started taking his clothes off and whilst only in his underwear pushed himself into my bed and kissed me. I was so limp from the booze but I pushed him out but he came back to kiss me. He kept going on an on leaning in and stepping back. It wasn’t until I sat up (naked and fucking afraid) with a clenched fist and barked at him to go that he decided to put back on his trousers and fuck off.

For days after what hit me wasn’t so much that this guy had done this but thinking about my girlfriends. I’m not a big guy and not a fighter by any means but I could have held back this man. If not, I knew if I shouted my flatmates would come. Of course I knew rape was an awful thing but putting together not just the act but that feeling of helplessness changed the way I look at so much. I’d always assumed MY GIRLZ would be fine, they’d scratch a fuckers eyes out before they let themselves be touched unwontedly. But that fear of being helpless, I wouldn’t wish it on anyone but it taught be to be disgusted of the ‘why didn’t she fight back’ argument in a way nothing else does. That the woman in this story got herself together and found her friend was so brave, I’d have frozen.
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arewemenoramidevoJoanna Rothkopf
12/10/15 4:58pm
And may I add:

DRE: Wait, what if there’s an explanation for this shit?

SLIM SHADY: What? She tripped, fell, and landed on his dick?
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  pkveensarewemenoramidevo
  12/10/15 5:32pm
  I really hope this was his inspiration
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