Discussion
  • Read More
    deerlady83Tracy Moore
    12/05/15 3:57pm

    It's important to see how a spouse will handle one becoming ill. That is a big test.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      Claudettes dressingroomdeerlady83
      12/05/15 4:03pm

      Whoa! That kinda came out of nowhere, But It Should Go Everywhere. This is a very Big deal.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      JeffersonMurderdeerlady83
      12/05/15 4:04pm

      I think a lifetime of cat ownership has well prepared me for an ill spouse:

      • If they sound like they’re about to throw up, grab something you don’t mind getting puke on and put it under them.
      • If they seem really sick, take them to the vet.

      The only snarl here is that ever since my veterinarian grandfather sold his practice and retired, I don’t get free care for my pets anymore.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    fondue processTracy Moore
    12/05/15 3:54pm

    a colleague of mine is going through his FOURTH divorce. another one has 5 kids by 3 wives, and he’s not even 45 yet. the national head of our department is on his third, and doesn’t really hide his proclivity of hanging out with prostitutes.

    moral of the story: don’t marry real estate brokers

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      Canadian Banditfondue process
      12/05/15 4:02pm

      ... duly noted!

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      Claudettes dressingroomfondue process
      12/05/15 4:09pm

      Or any of these dudes who do the 'trophy wife' crap. Yes, I'm looking at you, my lovely niece. You are going to get royally screwed. He's a Big Shit banker who loves looking at his reflection at the gym - one of those guys who stands really tall with his pelvis thrust forward. Sorry/not sorry:(

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    SillyMe8Tracy Moore
    12/05/15 5:02pm

    These two are getting divorced because he’s a narcissist and she is no longer the trophy he married.

    As far as multiple marriages, I agree that if you don’t take the time to figure out what went wrong in the first one you’re more likely to make the same mistakes again. When I see people jump from one long marriage into another serious relationship in nano-seconds it’s often because they can’t stand to be alone. They don’t bother figuring out why the former relationship didn’t work and look to the new person as the perfect antidote, thinking they’ll make everything right and not ‘be like’ the former partner, or will ‘make them happy’. These are the people who bail when the sparkle wears off.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      boredatworkSillyMe8
      12/05/15 5:42pm

      It seems as though men are more likely to remarry and do so much faster. I’ve seen statistics to this effect. Maybe it’s because of the “bitches be crazy” conditioning and they think they have nothing to do with the relationship failing? Or perhaps because men tend not to have friends/community ties the way women do and have a greater need to be in a relationship.

      In any event, in my dating life, I have met so many men who are dating far too soon, sometimes mere days after a separation. I know enough to steer clear of them now but every single one I met when I was younger completely fucked me up.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      lunchcomaboredatwork
      12/05/15 6:07pm

      Or perhaps because men tend not to have friends/community ties the way women do and have a greater need to be in a relationship.

      I think it’s part this, and part the way that domestic work tends to get divided up in a relationship. I know a lot of recently divorced women who swear they’ll never put up with chores fights again, and a lot of recently divorced men who go through a screwing around phase and then start missing the homey type stuff. It definitely doesn’t help that men think they should date younger, meaning women past a certain age get stuck with guys who are looking more for nurses than wives, but I also think there’s less demand among divorced women for new spouses.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    mollymlf05Tracy Moore
    12/05/15 4:28pm

    What’s the saying? Everyone encounters some assholes along the way, but if everyone you meet is an asshole, maybe you’re the asshole.

    But, like, with spouses.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      Katmandumollymlf05
      12/05/15 4:40pm

      With some people, it isn’t because they’re assholes. It’s because their picker is broken, and they keep picking the same assholes.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      Kirstenmollymlf05
      12/05/15 4:43pm

      I feel if you have three failed marriages (are you listening, Ross Geller and Gail Roberts/Tilsley/Platt/him who used to be Mr Hopwood/McIntyre/Les Dennis?), you should probably take a long hard look at yourself and realise that maybe you’re not good at making choices relating to marriage.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    Nightshift NurseTracy Moore
    12/05/15 4:21pm

    Christ, seeing my one and only marriage slowly implode was enough to make me swear off the institution forever.

    And the further away I get from ground zero, the more assured I feel of that position.

    It would be a very special - and convincing - kind of person who inspires me to walk down an aisle again.

    And, true, at thirty-seven, I feel like my options for a longterm relationship are beginning to very slowly, but surely, disappear. (In large part because I’m simply less amenable to compromise than I was in my twenties. Also, because nobody seems interested.) But, even so, if I do find that one person...and things start to go south...I want both of us to have the freedom to bail sooner rather than later. The worst thing is being tethered to a slowly sinking ship. And this is coming from the person who didn’t even necessarily want the divorce in the first place.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      KatmanduNightshift Nurse
      12/05/15 4:38pm

      I was long term married, and I so completely agree with you for all the reason you stated.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      TrizMNightshift Nurse
      12/05/15 4:49pm

      One of my favourite aunts, a lawyer who lived everywhere, working for good causes, and was the most intelligent and caring person I’ve ever known, met the love of her life when she was in her 40s. I don’t even remember her dating much before, and then she met Paul.

      Very sadly she died later, of cancer, but they were just ridiculously happy in their marriage. Don’t give up! There is someone out there worthy of you too! :)

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    thegloopTracy Moore
    12/05/15 4:34pm

    My idiot soon to be ex husband is already engaged to his girlfriend (of less than a year) before our divorce is even final. I don’t fucking get it. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about 9 months (he is also divorced, and had kids close in age to my own daughter) and we have already talked about the fact that we are in NO rush to move in/ get married again soon or ever. Why? Why? WHYYYYY??????? Then again, he was always the person to blame me for every problem in the relationship (yeah, right) and I guess he thinks that since I was the problem now that I am gone his next marriage will be just peaches and cream. Good luck with that, buddy.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      AurynSharaythegloop
      12/05/15 5:18pm

      The same thing pretty much happened to me. My ex left me, and was immediately in another relationship. I’m 99% certain that he had been seeing her for several months before he left me, but he denies it of course. She was pregnant within 6 months, and their kid was born about a year after he had left. As far as I know, they’re not married bc I still haven’t received corrected divorce papers, but he could have told the court that he couldn’t locate me to have me sign them, and pushed it through. (Which is legal where I live.)

      In the mean time, I’ve not even been in a relationship in the 3 years since he left.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      SillyMe8thegloop
      12/06/15 2:31pm

      Yep, after my ex and I split he told me within weeks that his new relationship was serious. Granted, he’d been seeing her for at least six weeks before our split but seriously, bus? Two months and it’s serious? Especially when he was banging other women as well at the time? Seems my ex can’t be alone and will latch on to the most available candidate. Which doesn’t make me feel very good about the couple of decades I spent with him.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    spotofluffTracy Moore
    12/05/15 4:44pm

    JUST SEVEN WEEKS AGO GUYS. Give me ANSWERS.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      Flufferiopkspotofluff
      12/05/15 5:10pm

      He looks like a wrinkled up old anus face!

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      LolaHeathertonspotofluff
      12/05/15 5:25pm

      I think what DF is saying here is: “I literally will not wait for the lemons to turn into lemonade. I’m divorcing you for a pitcher of lemonade. Plus, you’re a lyme, and lymeade is only fit for men who haven’t written masterpieces like ‘Ghetto Love’ or look like they’re on the way to the Dinah Shore Classic.”

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    burnerburneredburnerestTracy Moore
    12/05/15 4:15pm

    In the near-ish future I will be out of my marriage. I will never have another romantic relationship, ever, again. The thought of it makes me ill. I have terrible taste in mates, I realize this is a short coming of mine and have, thankfully, come to terms with my short comings in this (and other) regards. I am really looking forward to my alone time and the time I will spend, alone, with my child. No more putting up with a sixty-year-old-boy-man tantrums, financially and emotionally doing all the heavy lifting, 90% of all the household work, putting on the happy face to make the home less stressful for our child. I will be done with that shit, so looking forward to only putting up with my own shit.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      EnVee65burnerburneredburnerest
      12/05/15 4:32pm

      Aren’t most divorces initiated by women? I think a lot of that has to do with women no longer being willing to waste their time on this shit. (Full disclosure: I was married young and divorced after 18 years; had a 9 (7 living together) year relationship where he revealed himself as an abusive psycho; remarried my first husband, (with whom I remained friends) very briefly when he got sick and nearly died, which scared the crap out of both of us (also, a poor decision for both of us). I date, but as far as living with a partner? I’m done too. If I’m going to do everything, I’d rather not add the burden of doing so for someone else as well.)

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      Ea2925burnerburneredburnerest
      12/05/15 4:51pm

      I have been saying for years, if my current relationship were to end, I am staying single forever. Not interested.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    PhilosophyprofTracy Moore
    12/05/15 4:06pm

    My first marriage ended after my spouse indicated he couldn’t handle another episode of my cancer... and I saw the truth in that statement, and all kinds of other truths.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      burnerburneredburnerestPhilosophyprof
      12/05/15 4:27pm

      Goodriddence, I’m happy you showed him the door.

      I was put on bed rest for three months, due to a badly injured leg and ankle. In that time, my husband, begrudgingly brought me a glass of water…. once. Any questions I ever had about him being there for me during a catastrophic illness were answered. He was pretty awful during my pregnancy as well, so I shouldn’t have been surprised.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      Katmanduburnerburneredburnerest
      12/05/15 11:32pm

      I always said if I ever got cancer or was really ill, my ex would just shove me in a room somewhere and leave me there. At least now if I get cancer and I’m alone, it’s because I chose that.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    PrettyPrettyBunniPrincessTracy Moore
    12/05/15 3:55pm

    What about just don’t get married?

    Except for good health insurance. Then it’s worth it.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      lunchcomaPrettyPrettyBunniPrincess
      12/05/15 4:04pm

      If you’re planning on living together, owning property together, and having children together, a breakup in that situation looks about the same (and might be even more legally difficult) than a divorce. Putting the marriage label on a long term relationship doesn’t necessarily make its failure worse.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      PrettyPrettyBunniPrincesslunchcoma
      12/05/15 4:14pm

      Yes it does.

      Reply
      <