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    GeorgeGeoffersonLivesGabrielle Bluestone
    12/01/15 9:27am

    It was Sarah Palin, in the helicopter, with a rifle.

    Either that, or the dastardly ice weasels who come by night.

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      ideasleepfuriouslyGeorgeGeoffersonLives
      12/01/15 9:28am

      I really need to get that GOP expansion for Clue.

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      jibjobGeorgeGeoffersonLives
      12/01/15 9:28am

      I was gonna say a Kodiak bear. But yours is much better.

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    FauxhemianRhapshodyGabrielle Bluestone
    12/01/15 9:33am

    70-year-old

    So, we're not going with "he was old"?

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      Cam/ronFauxhemianRhapshody
      12/01/15 9:36am

      Shh, millions of Baby Boomers will soon turn 70. Don’t say “old” around them.

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      TibbersFauxhemianRhapshody
      12/01/15 9:40am

      to be fair, 70 isn’t as old as it once was. 75+ is still old, but he at least had 5 more good years, if not more (if he’s rich). Remember rich 75 is everyone else’s 65.

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    skefflesGabrielle Bluestone
    12/01/15 9:35am

    70 years old? Why can’t we just say that age killed him? That is prime culling years for the old Grim Reaper.

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      Tibbersskeffles
      12/01/15 9:43am

      Not for his money bracket. Rich 70 is Regular folks 55, Poor folks 45 and Meth heads 25. Also the average male life expectancy in the US is 76-78. He still had a few good years left (more so for being rich).

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      GeorgeGeoffersonLivesTibbers
      12/01/15 9:46am

      He also appears to be pretty fit for 70. I was expecting to see a picture of someone visibly in much poorer health when this first broke this morning.

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    ThenSAGabrielle Bluestone
    12/01/15 9:32am

    It was probably some Russians.

    That is why we need to build a fence around Alaska to keep them out.

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      Jerry-NetherlandThenSA
      12/01/15 9:43am

      These two?

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      DisinterestedPasserbyThenSA
      12/01/15 10:07am

      No, Sarah would have seen them coming.

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    GeorgeGeoffersonLivesGabrielle Bluestone
    12/01/15 9:35am

    Either that or the infamous Walrus-backed Nanookwaffe:

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      under196GeorgeGeoffersonLives
      12/01/15 9:50am

      I laughed way to hard at this.

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      GeorgeGeoffersonLivesunder196
      12/01/15 9:52am

      When I saw the episode, I nearly died. The writer who thought this up out of nowhere should have been given a huge bonus. lol

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    ArturoGabrielle Bluestone
    12/01/15 9:44am

    I know Anchorage is the largest city in Alaska but you’re telling me the state capital doesn’t have the means to perform an autopsy? That seems strange. Even a city of 32,000 should have a coroner.

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      GeorgeGeoffersonLivesArturo
      12/01/15 9:51am

      Not just large enough, but it’s the state capital. State capitals usually have even more services than similar sized cities which aren’t state seats of government. What if this had been a state lawmaker?

      That’s not even to mention that it’s not as if Anchorage is close, either, and Juneau is really inaccessible (only reachable by water or air). You’d think they’d be even more self-contained than most.

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      cantfindmyrealacctGeorgeGeoffersonLives
      12/01/15 12:51pm

      Much better to send the body to Anchorage to stoke any conspiracy theories. I expect some good one,s as Alaska has a high population of conspiracy theorists.

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    GeorgeGeoffersonLivesGabrielle Bluestone
    12/01/15 9:40am

    “There could’ve been a fall”

    He wasn’t fall, he was...he was...pushed!

    Either that, or god.

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      AskYourMotherGeorgeGeoffersonLives
      12/01/15 10:16am

      That God fella is a known killer.

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      GeorgeGeoffersonLivesAskYourMother
      12/01/15 10:22am

      Ain’t that the truth? He’ll get ya everytime.

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    AnastraceGabrielle Bluestone
    12/01/15 9:40am

    Well it could be polar bear assassins, or more likely he had a heart attack or something.

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      GeorgeGeoffersonLivesAnastrace
      12/01/15 9:48am

      Russian bears:

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    ReinventedGabrielle Bluestone
    12/01/15 9:51am

    “Good evening, ma’am, I’m campaigning to be the next mayor of Juneau, and I hope I can count on your vote. On the ballot, my name will be listed as Stephen Fisk, but, um, my friends call me ‘Greg.’ I’m Greg. Remember that, please. If anyone comes around looking for me, you know a ‘Greg’ Fisk, but you’ve never heard of Stephen Fisk. Thanks! And thanks for your support.”

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      SnowballGabrielle Bluestone
      12/01/15 9:27am

      just sayin...

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        AardymusVarkSnowball
        12/01/15 9:44am

        What kind of idiot stands in front of a moron holding a gun with their finger on the trigger just to get a picture that to some degree or another already exists?

        Let me add that the moron with the gun looks drunk... although that is both unfair and not unusual.

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