Kinja reply list

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andsmokeit is mrs tormund giantsbaneRachel Vorona Cote
11/30/15 12:12pm
tfw you serially date uber religious dudes and then are like wtf bone me please and they are like dude what part of this did you not get and you’re like tru

GIF

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  fighting polish is David Schwimmer as Rob Kardashian Srandsmokeit is mrs tormund giantsbane
  11/30/15 12:17pm
  “Oh, you were SERIOUS about that virgin til marriage thing?
  
  Welp, bye”
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  kungfu2dayandsmokeit is mrs tormund giantsbane
  11/30/15 12:22pm
  Seriously, what’s wrong with this lady? If we found out about a guy like this, we’d completely dog him.
  
  She’s got a complex.
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Bears for PresidentRachel Vorona Cote
11/30/15 12:24pm
To be fair, he did try to give her the D, it just got intercepted and taken back for 6.
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  Snake PersonBears for President
  11/30/15 12:33pm
  OBLIGATORY.
  
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  Joseph FinnBears for President
  11/30/15 12:40pm
  As a Bears/Cutler fan your username made this all the better.
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JujyMonkey: Clever tagline goes hereRachel Vorona Cote
11/30/15 12:17pm
Say what you will about Tebow, the dude has some willpower.

<fans self>
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  GELLA - LLAPJujyMonkey: Clever tagline goes here
  11/30/15 12:29pm
  Blue balls and hairy palms
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  johnseaveyJujyMonkey: Clever tagline goes here
  11/30/15 12:32pm
  Um, yeah. “Willpower”.
  
  ...look, is anyone else’s gaydar pinging hard with Tim Tebow? Like, ten years from now he’s going to be appearing on talk shows and laughing about how dumb he was ten years ago not to notice that he had no interest in sex with supermodels but really loved hanging around in locker rooms with naked guys? Please understand, this isn’t a judgment of any kind, I’m not saying that only a gay guy wouldn’t have sex with Olivia Culpo. I’m saying that I’ve thought for a good few years now that Tebow was gay and so closeted that even he didn’t know it, and this is just another data point in that theory.
  
  If he’s not gay and he’s just waiting for the right woman, that is great. If he is gay, that is also great. But I’m pretty sure he’s gay. :)
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VoteyMcVotefaceThePartyVoteDriverRachel Vorona Cote
11/30/15 12:13pm
Yeah, i’m sure that Tim Tebow wasn’t going to give up the D until he got the IDO came as a HUGE shock.
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  IHaveThoughts Thinks 2016 Has No ChillVoteyMcVotefaceThePartyVoteDriver
  11/30/15 12:18pm
  I never thought I’d say this, but I’m actually not mad at Tebow for this. He said “no sex before marriage” roughly a bazillion times in a kajillion different media outlets. She has every right to get some, but it’s not like he hid the plan.
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  mazzieDIHaveThoughts Thinks 2016 Has No Chill
  11/30/15 12:23pm
  I’m always surprised when dudes date some hot religious christian chick and then are sexually frustrated the entire time. Like come on, this wasn’t a surprise she sprung on you. I’m not really sure what Olivia Culpo expected.
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fighting polish is David Schwimmer as Rob Kardashian SrRachel Vorona Cote
11/30/15 12:13pm
WATCH OUT RUSSELL WILSON
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  andsmokeit is mrs tormund giantsbanefighting polish is David Schwimmer as Rob Kardashian Sr
  11/30/15 12:14pm
  ciara gonna start getting some IDEAS
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  VoteyMcVotefaceThePartyVoteDriverfighting polish is David Schwimmer as Rob Kardashian Sr
  11/30/15 12:15pm
  He’s perfectly happy not having sex with Ciara, he wouldn’t ruin what they have to not have sex with a Miss USA and Miss Universe winner.
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Snake PersonRachel Vorona Cote
11/30/15 12:20pm
just realized i’ve had more sex than tim tebow and feel newly desirable and adult

don’t remind me that he’s celibate by choice so help me god let me have this
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  Octopit didn't choose the burrito life, the burrito life chose octopit.Snake Person
  11/30/15 12:35pm
  Right? Like I haven’t had any sex in 6 or so years but on the plus side I’ve had sex way more recently than Tebow so I am feelin good.
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  Supernova: Bullshit JediOctopit didn't choose the burrito life, the burrito life chose octopit.
  11/30/15 2:07pm
  11 years! I win!
  
  Wait...
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Paranoid Android (sometimes says dumb things)Rachel Vorona Cote
11/30/15 12:34pm
Timmy has a right to his virginity as much as Olivia has the right to leave him and get laid.

They both knew what they were in for.

Somewhere in Arkansas, Jim Bob Duggar is waiting for a phonecall.
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  eejmParanoid Android (sometimes says dumb things)
  11/30/15 12:50pm
  I know there was a weird rumor a while back about Tebow dating Jana Duggar, but I genuinely do think she’d be more his speed. Almost any kind of physical contact would be off the table until an engagement, and after that only hand-holding would be allowed until marriage. I can understand why Tebow wouldn’t want anything to do with that creepy family, but I do think their version of courtship would be more in line with his beliefs and needs.
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  Paranoid Android (sometimes says dumb things)eejm
  11/30/15 12:55pm
  That would seem to be his only alternative if he insists on a completely hands off policy.
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BrianDRachel Vorona Cote
11/30/15 12:26pm
Can we go back to the part where Tebow is professing his love to her after dating for a month.

Because da fuck is this
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  chumpzillaBrianD
  11/30/15 12:34pm
  ^^this^^
  
  That is some serious middle school bullshit. I bet he was willing to go as far as dry, thumb-down (as god intended) handies but no “mouth stuff”.
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  EmRyBrianD
  11/30/15 12:35pm
  He’s also a 30-year-old virgin. What would you expect?
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LILLADYLIZRachel Vorona Cote
11/30/15 12:47pm
Don’t blame her.

I’ve never taken someone’s virginity and while I suppose I wouldn’t necessarily be opposed to it I’m also just fine with never having done it and never doing it for as long as I live.

Also would totally bang nick Jonas
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  BettycrockpotterLILLADYLIZ
  11/30/15 12:58pm
  I took someone’s virginity once. At his parents’ beach house. It was something to write home about, and not in s good way. As we left the coast to drive back to our hometown, he hung out the window of my car and yelled “I JUST HAD SEX WITH BETTYCROCKPOTTER!!!!!!!!”
  
  He was 26.
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  LILLADYLIZBettycrockpotter
  11/30/15 12:59pm
  OMG LOL! See if I WERE to take someone's virginity I would definetly want it to take place in a beach house.
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Flow BeeRachel Vorona Cote
11/30/15 12:20pm
This has PR written all over it. To reinforce Tebow’s righteousness.
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  andsmokeit is mrs tormund giantsbaneFlow Bee
  11/30/15 12:26pm
  i enjoy this theory because it posits that his agent thinks we will all forget that he lost a backup job to mark sanchez
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  WallflowerFlow Bee
  11/30/15 12:41pm
  I could see that. I always hear Christians talk about how Tebow gets bashed for being overtly religious but I’ve never actually seen/heard anyone criticize him for it. This is the closest thing I’ve seen to that, maybe he’s trying to keep up his martyr brand.
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