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    LOREM IPSUMMarie Lodi
    11/28/15 7:03pm

    Hey Jezzies, whatcha drinking? I’m pacing myself tonight, and drinking a Lil Sumpin Sumpin. It’s alright. I was really sick this morning and I think I threw up everything I didn’t throw up over the past three days. Not cool, guys! I’m feeling better, but I’m not eating anything other than crackers and beer. Yeah, that’ll show’em!

    Reject’s Thanksgiving went well. I made the perfect spicy sausage stuffing, the best cheesy potatoes I’ve ever made, and the roast chicken came out beautifully. My brother stopped over and there was no tension! We played Cards Against Humanity and I made the topping for his (blech) sweet potato pie. I also got roped into this stupid secret santa thing my family is having, and I got my bitch aunt from hell. I bought her lame ass gifts already off of groupon and amazon, and hopefully I can just mail them to the hosebeast.

    My narwhal tusk is getting smaller, but still hurts like a bitch. No baldness, though! No skin sloughing! That idiot PA who gave me a steroid (contraindicated for Xarelto, by the way) lowered my immune system and now I have a cough and fever again! Yay! Other than that, life at McIndy Manor is normal. My nietus dropped a few days ago, so she may be coming a bit earlier than December 17th. My Ciocia said she wants to work with me on my stand-up, as a sounding board for new stuff. Since she did it back in the eighties, I can’t think of a better person to help me get my feet back on the ground with it.

    I also found out my uncle, who I always loved, is an embezzler and is cheating on my aunt, who is one of the sweetest people in the world. His family is gaslighting her, and we’re trying to support her the best we can, despite living 2000 miles away. I hope she leaves his ass and that she isn’t held accountable for what he did, since she is completely blindsided by all of this and is heartbroken.

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      anyah8sbunniesLOREM IPSUM
      11/28/15 7:10pm

      I’m sorry about your aunt, that sucks :(

      I haven’t started drinking, but I have a South African Sauvignon Blanc in the fridge waiting for me.

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      CarrieA6hatesportmanteauxLOREM IPSUM
      11/28/15 7:17pm

      Good news on the tusk! Sounds like your aunt should come visit.

      No drinking for me yet. The sun is still up here, and baby & husband (hell, probably even the dog) are all napping so I’m going to try to get a few more freelance hours in.

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    VonQuesoMarie Lodi
    11/28/15 7:10pm

    Thanksgiving is tomorrow; Jezzies lend me strength because I am exhausted and feeling meh. O.o

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      Adrastra predicts "Low Key" title for Taylor's new albumVonQueso
      11/28/15 7:18pm
      GIF

      Koala support gif.

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      agenttrembleVonQueso
      11/28/15 7:18pm

      But stuffing! Think of the stuffing and the mashed potatoes!

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    CAPTAINOHMarie Lodi
    11/28/15 7:21pm

    You guys, what happened to the comment section over at gawker? It used to be sensible 90% of the time. Now it's almost all nuts. Can we please keep Jez civil forever?

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      32_FootstepsCAPTAINOH
      11/28/15 7:28pm

      I’m starting to see it bleed into Gizmodo, and I’m not sure if its appearance on Kotaku is outside infection or the natural mutation of the awful half of the video gaming commentariat.

      In short, it’s gonna be a long year.

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      CarrieA6hatesportmanteaux32_Footsteps
      11/28/15 7:32pm

      Any time I look at the comments on Gizmodo it looks like they jump to calling each other idiots immediately.

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    DontBeSuchaBoobPunchTinaMarie Lodi
    11/28/15 7:06pm

    These panties are hilarious but WAY TOO WEIRD for me!

    For anyone who remembers I was a hurtin’ unit the night before Thanksgiving, I did get looked at, and they think there’s some muscle stiffness and swelling pressing on a nerve. Should be fixable with physical therapy.

    So I’m still not feeling so great, but yay that that’s all it is!

    Thanks SO MUCH to everyone for all your kind thoughts and wonderful Thanksgiving stories! That was really lovely.

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      ShezzalovesWatsonDontBeSuchaBoobPunchTina
      11/28/15 7:25pm

      But they would be perfect for a white elephant party.

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      Cocopop!DontBeSuchaBoobPunchTina
      11/28/15 7:27pm

      Glad to hear that you saw the doctor. Hope you get some relief soon!

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    CarrieA6hatesportmanteauxMarie Lodi
    11/28/15 7:25pm

    I already posted this guy on Jez this week, but he was my first present this year, I unreservedly love him, and receiving him was basically the only decent thing that happened all week.

    Plus my husband seemed initially to hate it, so Santa Rex is a bit of passive aggressive revenge for every part of the house currently afflicted with husband’s busy, decorative style.

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      VonQuesoCarrieA6hatesportmanteaux
      11/28/15 7:31pm

      I normally don’t do lots of decorating, but I heart this thing.

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      Pie-pieCarrieA6hatesportmanteaux
      11/28/15 7:33pm

      Want.

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    randilynisFINDILYNMarie Lodi
    11/28/15 7:03pm

    Good for a giggle:

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      Adrastra predicts "Low Key" title for Taylor's new albumrandilynisFINDILYN
      11/28/15 7:12pm

      Something that made me smile this week: the televisions in customs at EWR were showing the Eagles/Lions game when I landed on Thanksgiving. Usually they have a patriotic video on repeat.

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      randilynisFINDILYNAdrastra predicts "Low Key" title for Taylor's new album
      11/28/15 7:14pm

      It was good for you. And the Lions...

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    DuchessCrazyLindaMarie Lodi
    11/28/15 8:08pm

    This time of year makes me really depressed. I’m unemployed (once again), have no money for Xmas presents and no one to cuddle with. I suppose I should be happy to be alive, what with the cancer and all, and I totally am. But I’m not happy with the circumstances of my life right now.

    Part of this is lack of sunlight activating my seasonal depression. Even though I have a lamp now, it doesn’t seem to be working. Or I’m doing it wrong.

    Anyway, can someone tell me something good? I feel pretty hopeless right now.

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      VonQuesoDuchessCrazyLinda
      11/28/15 8:15pm

      If it’s any consolation, I was genuinely distraught by your cancer news and I don’t even know you. I’m so glad you’re doing better, but you should know that it is 100% ok to still be unhappy through that kind of good fortune. Just be really nice to yourself, ok?

      An image: my rescue dog, who isn’t much into play and is sort of the Eeyore of small dogs, is violently shaking around a rope toy behind me. He thinks I’m not looking. He looks pleased.

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      CarrieA6hatesportmanteauxDuchessCrazyLinda
      11/28/15 8:17pm

      I don’t even want to buy a bunch of Christmas presents but getting suckered into going to Best Buy on Black Friday made me sad that I can’t. So stupid.

      Um, that 13 year old black kid that became a YouTube star by making a bunch of anti-Obama videos has renounced Republicanism. He had some conversations with other kids, went looking for answers, and found them. Logic wins.

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    Captain Janeway has no time for your bullshitMarie Lodi
    11/28/15 7:03pm

    STILL at my in-laws!!! They're holding us hostage. We wanted to leave today but we were up till 2am last night with them. They kept guilting us into hanging out and drinking more and whatever so we're all hung over and tired and I miss my house! It's been 8 days!!! Help meeeeeee!!

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      anyah8sbunniesCaptain Janeway has no time for your bullshit
      11/28/15 7:07pm

      hahaha, this is a strange hostage situation

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      VonQuesoCaptain Janeway has no time for your bullshit
      11/28/15 7:11pm

      *crosses self*

      I often long for a family but in this moment am pleased I have no in laws because I have become a hermit.

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    ad infinitumMarie Lodi
    11/28/15 7:40pm

    So how many other Jezzies got treated to “All lives matter” and “Those people,” and “I’m not racist, but...” diatribes at Thanksgiving?

    My charming relatives started with, “Did you hear that Black Lives Matter is trying to make it illegal to say Black Friday?” We then progressed to, “I’ve had a lot of black friends, so I know how much they hate white people.”

    And finally, the spectacular finish: My cousin, who is a 30-year-old high school dropout who rarely leaves the house because she is too frightened to learn to drive, opining on how proud she is that her 5-year-old daughter is friends “with TWO of them!” — who are so cute with their funny braids! — and that she can expose them to some culture.

    My grandmother had a large jug of painfully sweet white Zinfandel in her fridge. I drank a lot of it.

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      Margaret Jean Perflipisklupad infinitum
      11/28/15 7:49pm

      My brother and I went to Mizzou, but are from Chicagoland. I was heading out to the garage with some food that needed to be kept cold-ish when I heard my sorta racist uncle ask my brother, “So, what the heck is going on at Mizzou?” I stayed in the garage until my feet went numb.

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      YasKweenad infinitum
      11/28/15 7:52pm

      Yup. I was right there with you on that. And I’m a white social justice educator so you KNOW my family knows where I stand on the issues but they still love to “push my buttons” by saying dumb shit (even if they don’t believe it themselves because they love to get a rise out of me).

      PLUS. I was at a family friend’s wedding on Saturday, where everyone kept trying to set me up with a groomsman and would say “Don’t stress. Some day this will be YOUR day!” Gaaaah! I don’t want any of this! It’s like no one believes me that I’m okay with being single and I want to remain child-free.

      I’ve determined that ALL of this is other people projecting their own insecurities on to us. “I’m not a racist but...” “I know you say you don’t want kids but...” Dammit, I’m so happy to be in my own apartment again.

      Sorry. Clearly you struck a chord in me! :)

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    wishtMarie Lodi
    11/28/15 7:41pm

    It’s my birthday on Tuesday and on the one hand, it’s massively depressing because I feel like I am completely failing at almost every aspect of being alive, but on the other, I’m kinda looking forward to the thought of a new start. The past year has been really difficult, everything from serious illness in the family to having to kinda basically run a company when my boss almost died a bit to being the brokest I have ever been. For my birthday this year, I would like the universe to give me a fucking break. Or a pair of those Irregular Choice shoes with the unicorn heels. But mostly a break.

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      DontBeSuchaBoobPunchTinawisht
      11/28/15 7:45pm
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      wishtDontBeSuchaBoobPunchTina
      11/28/15 7:50pm
      GIF
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