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    Bear BrianMelissa Cronin
    11/26/15 10:50am

    Surely this zooms to the top of the list. What the hell is this thing anyway? Do they know young children watch this parade?

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      Melissa CroninBear Brian
      11/26/15 10:53am

      lol. is that from this year?

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      zombiebarbieBear Brian
      11/26/15 10:56am

      Revenge of the Uterus?

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    Jerry-NetherlandMelissa Cronin
    11/26/15 10:54am

    They could put inflated Donald Trump head on sticks and pull him down 5th Ave. (No helium necessary, it’s already inflated) Maybe he’d pop.

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      PseudoHermesJerry-Netherland
      11/26/15 11:06am

      This picture is amazing. Can we make it the Good Job Gun Nuts of Donald Trump stories?

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      LutefiskatKvothe'sJerry-Netherland
      11/26/15 11:18am

      Oh, the Places You’ll Go!

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    RooseveltsRevengeMelissa Cronin
    11/26/15 12:42pm

    Eh hum!

    Still waiting in the greatest possible “Ranked” post of all time:

    A “Donald Trump - Insults written in Gawker articles- Ranked” Post.

    Here’s the updated list:

    -Exhaustive child

    -$4 billion puddle of tinted moisturizer

    - ever worse human and godsend

    -wonka factory escapee

    -Serious republican Presidential Candidate

    -Open-Faced Quesadilla

    -Idiot billionaire and face of YouTube’s popular “Annoying Orange”

    -Noted Asshole

    -Asshole-American

    -shrunken apple head

    -permanently open mouth

    -Verbal Billionaire

    -Donald Trump Entusiast

    -deflated basketball

    -cartoon plutocrat

    -Sentient overripe pear

    -melted creamsicle

    -Rotting pumpkin time-lapse ( By far my favorite)

    -fluffy bouffant

    -gaping mouth with a hairpiece

    -oozy lather of absurd hyperbole

    -dick-nosed baldy

    -perpetual asshole

    -serially bankrupt business mogul

    -television clown

    -bloated spawn of a Penn Station ashtray and Nickelodeon slime

    - legitimate hairstyle choice

    -anthropomorphic caterpillar

    -toupee’d buffoon

    -bloviating billionaire

    -idiotic rich man

    -vibrating Bologna loaf

    -Deflated football

    -Human embodiment of hotdog filling

    -Toupee-wearing Orangina Fuckhole

    -sentient bottle of self tanner

    -short-fingered vulgarian

    -Rejected Richie Rich Villain

    -Corndog that escaped from the state fair

    -GOP Presidential candidate and Bone-in Ham

    -Walking sun dried tomato

    -Presidential candidate and human Kewpie doll

    -Adult male baby with the combover and personality of a 30 pound toddler

    -Melting pig carcass

    -Human cystic acne pus

    -Millionaire and disgraced racist

    -What would happen if a caps lock key was granted one wish and that wish was to come to life.

    -Fabulist cheddar critter

    -NOT a Fetal-Mafia Truther (I.E.- Ted Cruz, Ashley’s insult is too good not to be included)

    -Unreptant Bigot

    -Ralph Steadman illustration come to life

    -Noted Donald Trump enthusiast

    -Grimacing Cheeto Fart

    -Everyone’s Favorite Screaming Steamed Carrot

    -Cursed Halloween Mask

    -Presidential candidate and bag of flour

    -Enraged animated creamsicle

    -Woody Allen impersonator and Incessant Tweeter

    -Time-displaced Sopranos extra

    -Melted candle impersonator

    -Bloviating caricature of a businessman

    -Disgraced Pope impersonator

    -Cable News Fever Dream

    -Delusional Cheese Creature

    -Lint-crusted dried apricot

    -Mud clotted welcome mat

    -Melting Businessman

    -James Bond Villain/Republican Presidential Candidate

    -Aspiring social media intern

    -Drunk Monopoly man

    -Cranial bee sting victim

    -Stupid, racist clown

    -Lint-covered sentient Cheeto

    -Man-sized sebaceous cyst

    -billionaire Siberian Tiger hairball

    -Shriveled apricot

    -Empty popcorn bag rotting in the sun

    -Heat Miser with a heart of coal

    -Man-shaped asbestos insulation board

    -Aggravated giant duckling

    -dusty barrel of fermented peepee

    -Gilded Dildo

    -usually reasonable burlap sack full of rancid Peeps

    -Degloved zoo penis

    -Miss Cleo cosplay enthusiast

    -bargain bin full of yellowing Jean-Claude Van Damme movies

    -big orange buffoon

    -Normal-looking human man and entirely credible choice as future leader of the free world

    -overripe pumpkin from Halloween 2007

    -Our nation’s loudest cheesy puff

    -a dishrag that on closer inspection is alive with maggots

    -Perpetual embarrassment

    -Candied yam riddled with moldy spider carcasses

    -wilted turkey skin puppet

    -chewed-up furball

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      MazbrakinRooseveltsRevenge
      11/26/15 2:28pm

      Can somebody give the definitive answer on whether it was “short-fingered vulgarian” or “fat-fingered vulgarian?” I’ve seen people mention both versions but I’m pretty sure only one was ever published.

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      RooseveltsRevengeMazbrakin
      11/26/15 2:30pm

      Fairly positive it was “short-fingered vulgarian.”

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    DennyCraneMelissa Cronin
    11/26/15 10:27am

    If you see a balloon with a giant head that’s rapidly expelling gas, it’s either one of the Joker’s balloons from Batman or a 2016 Presidential candidate.

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      thwarted666Melissa Cronin
      11/26/15 11:26am

      okay BUT

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        Missypoo50Melissa Cronin
        11/26/15 10:50am

        I forgot to set my alarm so I could participate in a Turkey Trot. My stomach is still full from yesterday’s pre-game nachos. I did shit wrong this year.

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          Hatless Süspęçt and 6 othersMissypoo50
          11/26/15 11:33am

          Forget to put the seat down?

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          Missypoo50Hatless Süspęçt and 6 others
          11/26/15 12:26pm

          It was bound to happen after taking a trip to Margarita City. Population: 2 and a pile of vomit.

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        IAmNotADamnWriterMelissa Cronin
        11/26/15 10:51am

        I thought this was a family parade!?!?

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          PyramidHatIAmNotADamnWriter
          11/26/15 11:33am

          Well, then.

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          "Like those joke Glasses?" -D.S.IAmNotADamnWriter
          11/26/15 11:37am

          Hmm...

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        jrfunkensteinMelissa Cronin
        11/26/15 10:56am

        Yeah, shouldn’t Trumpenstein’s Monster be at the top of this list?

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          Taint NuttinMelissa Cronin
          11/26/15 11:21am

          11. Fat Joe

          His Squad isn’t half as Terror-izing as his lackluster rapping ability.

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            JoshDigiMelissa Cronin
            11/27/15 9:15am

            This parade was the worst thing I have ever watched on TV and I’ve seen Alf. It was nothing but shitty bands like Train lip synching their awful music and the announcers reading ad copy for shit like Mr Peanut. When the highlight of your parade are people doing a 180 spin while jumping rope you know you suck.

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