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    Bears for PresidentTracy Moore
    11/21/15 3:19pm

    See, this is the inherent problem with heterosexual hookups. You’re all hung up on “beds” and “Apartments”. Do your bars not have bathrooms?

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      overitBears for President
      11/21/15 3:22pm

      lol, I don’t even want to live with my boyfriend that I’ve been with for 7 yrs. We live about 5 min apart and each own our own condo. All my girlfriends treat me like there is something wrong with this but they are going to need my couch once they hit their 40’s and are all getting divorced.

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      CritabBears for President
      11/21/15 3:27pm

      For me the best sex usually doesn’t come with a staph infection.

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    DoIDareToEatAPeachTracy Moore
    11/21/15 3:06pm

    The worst part of staying over after a meh hookup is if they decide they feel frisky in the morning and want to kiss you. HELL NO I AM NOT KISSING YOUR STANKY MORNING MOUTH I DON’T EVEN KNOW YOU. It should be noted I don’t feel this way about morning genitals. The reason why is a mystery.

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      AlckapteDoIDareToEatAPeach
      11/21/15 3:35pm

      That’s bizarre, so you’ll suck his dick in the night, but a morning Kiss is gross because you don’t know him?

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      Ginger, get the popcorn!DoIDareToEatAPeach
      11/21/15 3:51pm

      See the only reason I don’t mind the occassional sleepover is if I want to exercise the morning sex option. That said, I always sneak into the bathroom (mine or his) and either brush my teeth (my place) or swish some mouthwash/toothpast&water around in my mouth, because I am civilized adult sex-haver.

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    collierLATracy Moore
    11/21/15 3:27pm

    Eh, if I invite you back to my place, you can expect to stay over and to get really excellent coffee in the morning. Unless I belatedly realize you’re an asshole or an idiot, in which case gtfo.

    Would not eject a dude for a micropenis, that’s just mean. :( Like, if all you’re really shopping for here is a cock that meets your preferences, it doesn’t exactly take much convincing to get a guy to send you a pic of it beforehand.

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      go-go-chocobocollierLA
      11/21/15 3:41pm

      Right? Unless you are a legit awful person, I will at least give you breakfast. If the sex was bad I just won’t call, no need to toss someone out.

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      GoodOlFashionedLoveSongcollierLA
      11/21/15 3:46pm

      > Like, if all you’re really shopping for here is a cock that meets your preferences, it doesn’t exactly take much convincing to get a guy to send you a pic of it beforehand.

      I’m dying.

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    Ginger, get the popcorn!Tracy Moore
    11/21/15 4:18pm

    I have already commented once, but I am going to do it again, because I think the authors are missing a key point—with the advent of Uber and Lyft it is now MUCH easier to bail in the middle of the night. Before, I used to have to A) hope he lived on a busy enough street that I could find a cab, or B) commit to public transit/walking alone at 3am. Just staying over and leaving during daylight hours was so much easier. Now, I can just summon a car to the door, hop in, exchange a knowing look and/or high-five with the driver, and be in my own bed very soon.

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      anyah8sbunniesGinger, get the popcorn!
      11/21/15 4:24pm

      I used to take cabs a lot between all of my bar hopping and working late nights.

      One night after work I ended up with the same cab driver I guess I had had after one of my drunken nights. He made the comment that he had picked me up before and I had 2 guys with me (one of them would have been my roommate at the time) and he didn’t know how I handled 2 guys that night.

      I was so grossed out by his comment... I think I stammered out the one guy was my roommate, but I was completely taken back from his comment

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      Ginger, get the popcorn!anyah8sbunnies
      11/21/15 4:33pm

      Well, that is a thoroughly disgusting encounter. Way to be a goddamn creep, cabbie.

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    John BoehnerTracy Moore
    11/21/15 3:07pm

    I think I have left one night stands immediately after boning for every reason you listed. Most guys are cool with that, but every once in awhile you get someone who is like ‘but u girlfriend now’ over text as you’re walking back to your place, and then you know you made the right choice.

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      oldbiddybadger2John Boehner
      11/21/15 3:10pm

      I’m Gen X and usually went home right afterwards. So did many of my friends. own bed FTW.

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      RockYouLikeAHermanCainJohn Boehner
      11/21/15 3:11pm

      I’m just imagining a sad gorilla with an iPhone. “Wait...so u no girlfriend?”

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    crankylittlephotonTracy Moore
    11/21/15 3:24pm

    Sleeping over is highly overrated. I love my husband. Really, I do. He’s cool. Doesn’t change the fact that my life would be immeasurably better if I could sleep alone every night. Alone. In a big, comfy bed. No one snoring or accidentally hitting you in the face when they turn over. Co-sleeping sucks, even when you really dig the other person. If we were super rich we would have separate bedrooms AND bathrooms.

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      Kathleen Burner Overdrivecrankylittlephoton
      11/21/15 3:43pm

      Preach. My man works overnight two nights a week, and although I’m always like “byeee baby I’ll miss yooooou” the second he leaves I place myself in the geographic center of our king, arrange ALL the pillows and ALL the blankets the way I see fit then stretch out like a motherfucking starfish. It’s the best part of my week.

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      crankylittlephotonKathleen Burner Overdrive
      11/21/15 4:11pm

      Hell, yes. I was traveling for work a few weeks back. Woke up all stretched out in the bed in perfect silence as the sun came up over the Chicago skyline. I woke up at first light because I had slept SO WELL. It was fucking paradise. I really savored the moment since I knew damned well I wasn’t going to sleep that soundly again for a looooong time.

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    obeyyourscarletthirstTracy Moore
    11/21/15 3:27pm

    Don’t even want to be held all night by my husband. Men are like human blast furnaces and in the summer in the south noooo thank you.

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      collierLAobeyyourscarletthirst
      11/21/15 3:36pm

      I keep the temp low and sleep (usually) in a long-sleeve tee and leggings, because I can’t even stand to have MY OWN skin touching me all night. Uggghhhh ugh ugh ugh get off me.

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      durkbotobeyyourscarletthirst
      11/21/15 3:52pm

      I would advocate separate beds.. or even rooms. My other half likes to stay up reading late whereas I’m dead as soon as I hit the pillow. He also wakes me up with deadly farts and sleep talking (“Guess what.” “..ugh...what.” “Nothing!”). Bed to myself plz!

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    BeaBull ApocalypseTracy Moore
    11/21/15 3:06pm

    If peak of her powers late 80s Meg Ryan was really reduced to banging Billy Crystal, then yes, she was the one with a problem.

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      crankylittlephotonBeaBull Apocalypse
      11/21/15 3:21pm

      This. Although it is a most unpopular opinion, I have always hated this fucking movie. It sucks. Meg Ryan’s character sucks, Billy Crystal’s character sucks, and not even the most excellent Carrie Fisher could save it.

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      DontBeSuchaBoobPunchTinacrankylittlephoton
      11/21/15 3:52pm

      It’s a sexist, myth-promoting piece of shit. I hate it too.

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    cancanstanTracy Moore
    11/21/15 3:12pm

    This can all be broken down to one bullet point about half way down your list:

    Have to take a shit

    No coffee? No phone charger? All of this can be over looked. But after a night of most likely heavy drinking and sleeping in what is most likely no larger than a one bedroom apartment, please just excuse yourself. If I'm at your place, I'm leaving. If you're at my place, please leave. No hard feelings bud.

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      KaraNextWeekcancanstan
      11/21/15 3:30pm

      I had a very very embarrassing one night stand with my ex’s best friend and had to poop so, so bad. But his bathroom was in his bedroom and so I left. Except I was out of town staying at a friend’s house and she wasn’t answering. So I did my business at a gas station and after waiting I thought I could probably just sneak back in and sleep on the couch and pretend I never left. So I tried and he came barging into the living room with a fucking shot gun. I think it was a shot gun. It was a gun of some sort, I don’t remember. No one was shot but it was a very, very awkward rest of the morning.

      Lesson learned: if you leave a one night stand just leave and don’t go back.

      In hindsight, it was not a smart decision. I should’ve just napped in my car.

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      Jurassic Porkercancanstan
      11/21/15 3:40pm

      I generally don’t have to take a dump after a night of heavy drinking, but I definitely have to fart. A lot. I’m leaving dude. I’m so happy to be in a ltr because now I get to fart and shit all I want, whenever I want.

      GIF

      Why yes it is, Jeff. Yes. It. Is.

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    Slay.douché - (dreams to be a puppy)Tracy Moore
    11/21/15 3:13pm

    Or perhaps all the epidemic unsatisfactory coitus will lead to a trend in the other direction, leave the frolic out entirely and just “cuddle for an hour then ditch” ?

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      Town BeachSlay.douché - (dreams to be a puppy)
      11/21/15 3:19pm

      Isn’t there already a cuddle app? Like tinder for people who just want to hug?

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      collierLATown Beach
      11/21/15 3:23pm

      I think it died. JUST LIKE LOVE.

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