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    UncleCCClaudiusKelly Conaboy
    10/30/15 3:59pm

    Cemeteries are relocated all the time. Take all the bones and arrange them artfully in a disused subway station et voila! Instant tourist attraction.

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      TopherUncleCCClaudius
      10/30/15 4:02pm

      I feel like the skeleton mosaic is a lost art form.

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      UncleCCClaudiusTopher
      10/30/15 4:03pm

      I’m trying, but it’s a really big basement and I don’t want to attract attention.

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    Montauk MonsterKelly Conaboy
    10/30/15 4:04pm

    Obviously the answer is cremation, and then you can do WHATEVER YOU WANT with the ashes. Bury them! Sprinkle them at a beloved location! Dump them in the sea! Shoot them into space! Put ‘em in a fireworks display! Put ‘em in jewelry! Throw it in a litterbox! Display on the mantle! WHO GIVES A SHIT???? Cremation rules. (I want to be made into tasteful jewelry, for the record.)

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      sukatraMontauk Monster
      10/30/15 7:09pm

      YEAHHHH!!

      I’m with you on cremation. my stepmother has a heart necklace with a little chamber holding some of my dad’s ashes. Is that tasteful enough for you?

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      Montauk Monstersukatra
      10/30/15 7:11pm

      EXACTLY something like that.

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    The Noble RenardKelly Conaboy
    10/30/15 4:02pm

    You’ll take away Green-Wood over my dead bo....

    Oh.

    Seriously though, Green-Wood is incredibly beautiful. It was the inspiration for Central Park and Prospect Park, and in many ways formed the basis for the idea of the “idyllic” countryside cemetary. The grounds are absolutely beautiful, and because it contains the highest natural point in Brooklyn you can get a fantastic view of the Manhattan skyline. The trees are also fantastic, it’s like an arboretum:

    That’s not my picture but I have plenty of gorgeous shots from wandering around in there.

    It’s the “park” that time forgot. Even though it’s less than a mile from Prospect Park, it’s just as lovely. The only difference is that you can’t picnic or exercise in it, just enjoy the solitude and the lovely views. And it is seriously empty. I live nearby and you can go there on a beautiful fall day, wander for an hour, and see less than five other people. You feel alone in the middle of the countryside even though you’re deep in the heart of NYC.

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      wakkawakkawakka2The Noble Renard
      10/30/15 4:11pm

      AHHHHH CENTRAL PARK HAS DEAD PEOPLE IN IT!

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      The Noble Renardwakkawakkawakka2
      10/30/15 4:15pm

      Just the kind that drop dead of heart attacks or muggings.

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    GregoireKelly Conaboy
    10/30/15 4:01pm

    Stack them upon on each other until they make a grand tower of bodies that reaches all the way to Heaven.

    Hello, bodies, we’ve been waiting for you!

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      TopherGregoire
      10/30/15 4:08pm

      If God didn’t want us to create a 2-mile high stack of human corpses, he should have said so beforehand.

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      Sarah Palin's VaginaTopher
      10/30/15 4:36pm

      Use them for Trump’s cheap wall and then he can develop the most luxurious haunted sky-rise ever to grace this earth.

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    2DollarzKelly Conaboy
    10/30/15 3:58pm

    I’m with Ashley on this one. But I have three kids, so I’ll have to figure out how to best divide my corpse for maximum effect.

    Zone defense, as it were.

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      Jerry-Netherland2Dollarz
      10/30/15 4:53pm

      It’s even more passive aggresive parenting if you don’t state to which of your children you bequeath custody. Condemn them to a lifetime of bickering over who loved you more!

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      sausageJerry-Netherland
      10/30/15 5:29pm

      LOL, can relate. My three will bicker over anything and they each have their own version of “you love me more, right?”

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    devilsadvocateKelly Conaboy
    10/30/15 4:01pm

    A couple years ago I thought that a high-rise building could be converted into a sort of grave-bank. It would have very well decorated and comfortable rooms on the first floor so you could visit with your loved one, which would come up through a hole in the floor once you entered in your access code. Like a giant 20 story vending machine.

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      Srynersondevilsadvocate
      10/30/15 5:35pm

      You need to visit the mausoleum at Wilhelm’s Portland Memorial — five stories, with approximately 60,000 bodies stored there and room for 120,000 more. The picture below is the fourth floor mezzanine. You feel somewhat like you’re in the Raiders of the Lost Ark warehouse when walking through there.

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    DashleyinCaliKelly Conaboy
    10/30/15 4:10pm

    We could keep them in dark water tanks, waiting for the day we may need an army of Cybermen...

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      SrynersonDashleyinCali
      10/30/15 5:36pm

      That managed to be ridiculous and creepy at the same time.

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    MizJenkinsKelly Conaboy
    10/30/15 4:14pm

    This one’s easy: turn people into trees! It’s green, economical and I can finally manifest my lifelong dream of being tall and willowy.

    But in the meantime leave Greenwood Cemetery alone. It’s a treasure.

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      No1CurrAboutYourBonerMizJenkins
      10/30/15 8:57pm

      Whaaaaa? Is this a real thing?

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    OMG!PONIES!Kelly Conaboy
    10/30/15 5:37pm

    But what do you all plan to do with my dead grandmother’s body which is buried there? Sure, I never met her and sure, I lived 10 blocks away from there for years without visiting because I didn’t know she was buried there but dammit I should have a say because reasons.

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      Lannister HandjobOMG!PONIES!
      10/31/15 9:20am

      You should visit. It's worth the ten block trek.

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    PraytoCheesusKelly Conaboy
    10/30/15 4:13pm

    “Green-Wood Cemetery, a National Historic Landmark, stretches across 478 acres of Brooklyn. But what if instead of using that land for a cemetery, somebody used that land for affordable housing? “

    A beautiful cemetery turned into affordable housing.

    A beautiful park-cemetery turned into this.

    I'm sure this will be affordable.

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      GrumpyEaglePraytoCheesus
      10/30/15 4:41pm

      There's a homeless shelter in my town that's run into a similar problem, actually. They wanted to built an addition on the empty lot next door, but once they started digging, they found out that there was a 150-year-old cemetery underneath it. Months later, they're still going through the required archeologically- and historically-correct excavation and it's cost them hundreds of thousands of dollars. Digging up a cemetery, even on purpose, isn't a cheap or easy process.

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