Discussion
  • Read More
    CharltonHestonsColdDeadHandsJoanna Rothkopf
    12/10/15 4:36pm

    Barely-related: How the fuck does this guy seem to have nearly-unlimited means to travel the world being a crazy stalky asshole, but nobody in this apparent support system gives enough of a shit to get him care he obviously needs or he’ll hurt somebody?

    I skip out on work for a month I’d be pretty well fucked. This guy seems to literally wander the earth being a creepy weirdo and buying extravagent gifts for his victims. Rich-ass parents who left him everything or what?

    Also - stalking is one of the nastier, shittier things you can do to somebody. It’s rape, minus the sex act - taking someone’s feeling of freedom and power away to get your weird control jollies.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      NomNom83CharltonHestonsColdDeadHands
      12/10/15 4:45pm

      Good point. How is he funded?

      Sadly, I suspect that we’ll get answers once he’s actually hurt someone.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      lunchcomaCharltonHestonsColdDeadHands
      12/10/15 4:52pm

      Google suggests that he has rich parents who are aware he’s troubled but not necessarily supporting him.

      My guess would be that as a decent-looking white guy who’s apparently pretty smart and can signal “rich” or “upper middle class” to potential employers, he has a fairly easy time finding lower-paying, entry-level jobs. If he gets bored of them or they realize how troubled he is, he can always quit and get another one.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    mental icebergJoanna Rothkopf
    12/10/15 4:26pm

    I’m so glad the attorney brought up the salient point here: Document everything. This also goes for non-celebrity stalkers, domestic abusers, etc.

    Even if your local police don’t seem to give a shit....save everything in the eventuality of court.

    I was the victim of domestic violence. When I finally went to the police and told them about previous acts.....the first thing they said was “do you have proof?” I was incredulous. Of course I didn’t. But then I realized....if I had pics with dates of previous bruises....they would have taken me more seriously.

    That last attack left me with 2 black eyes. Yeah they took pictures at the hospital, but I learned my lesson. I had a friend take pics of my face every 4 days with me holding up a newspaper because I knew it would be months before court.

    It took 2 weeks before I could go out without sunglasses, almost 3 before they were totally healed. And I had pics to show the judge just how severe the bruising was, and how long it took to heal.

    Got him a stiffer sentence.....

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      jinnimental iceberg
      12/10/15 4:42pm

      Thank you for sharing this; as painful on so many levels as it must be to recall. You may have helped someone achieve justice, in the future.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      mental icebergjinni
      12/10/15 4:54pm

      Thank you.

      It was also empowering for me, cause I knew I wasn’t just gonna go on the stand and say “yeah, it took 2 weeks to not have to wear sunglasses”. I was gonna have the proof, and no one could dispute that.

      It wasn’t enough for me that the judge saw the initial pics. I wanted him to realize that it impacted me physically for almost 3 weeks.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    cait98Joanna Rothkopf
    12/10/15 4:29pm

    I couldn’t read all of this. I feel bad for her. I also feel bad for this man as he seems to be clearly seriously ill. And reading this feels sort of rubber-necky. I hope she stays safe. And I hope he is getting care and/or care that works for him.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      KaraThrace,LikeEverybody,LovesHypnoToadcait98
      12/10/15 4:58pm

      some people who are really mentally ill don’t necessarily need our sympathy, because they are also really terrible people. this guy seems to be really terrible as well as being ill, so i don’t feel all that sorry for him (this is coming from someone dealing with an Axis I mental illness herself).

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      Brene BrawnKaraThrace,LikeEverybody,LovesHypnoToad
      12/10/15 5:40pm

      Yup. Just because something may explain behavior doesn't mean it excuses the behavior.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    Gross1Joanna Rothkopf
    12/10/15 4:21pm

    Leonora Claire’s story is similar to that of an acquaintance of mine - she was named one of the “40 under 40” in a mid-sized city’s business journal, and she ended up dealing with a stalker. It never got too scary and when she moved away two years later it basically stopped. It’s an unsettling reminder that this is not just a problem faced by the Jennifer Lawrences of the world. And it changes your idea of what it means to be a “public person.”

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      WhiskeyprayerGross1
      12/10/15 4:40pm

      I used to work at a local TV station and we had a fairly cute, young blond news anchor. She never had less than 3 stalkers on the wall of people we were supposed to call 911 if we saw near the station.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      NomNom83Whiskeyprayer
      12/10/15 4:42pm

      Much as I snark on local news, they sure are regular targets of the unhinged, obsessive and violent, aren’t they? *shiver*

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    ValiexiJoanna Rothkopf
    12/10/15 4:50pm

    “Now Lenora I’ll try to rescue you from brainwashing because you really have great tits and I’m sure that if I could unbrainwash you and you could see I’m really the real Clark Kent/Superman you’d totally be into me so I could tittyfuck you and cum all over your face which is the goal here.”

    Well, he really stuck the landing with that letter.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      mazzieDValiexi
      12/10/15 4:58pm

      I really would like to think RL Superman/Jesus Christ/Harry Potter would all want to rescue someone for reasons other than “great tits.”

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      writersblock2.0Valiexi
      12/10/15 4:58pm

      I know every guy loves boobs hurr durr, but this guy’s obsession with that one particular body part seems...way beyond.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    MorninBoehnerJoanna Rothkopf
    12/10/15 4:29pm

    I had a stalker for a brief, terrifying couple of weeks. I was told that since he sent his threats by email instead of calling me, snail mailing me or damaging my property that it “wasn’t stalking”.

    His emails involved making threats and sending me my own address and the addresses of family members. But you know, that totally isn’t stalking or harassment.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      NomNom83MorninBoehner
      12/10/15 4:43pm

      That is horrible. How did you finally shake him?

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      mazzieDMorninBoehner
      12/10/15 4:59pm

      When was this? I’m wondering if anything changed recently with the prevalence of the internet bullying and such.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    jinniJoanna Rothkopf
    12/10/15 4:22pm

    This is horrifying. And yet, one small thing has improved since I went to the police over a stalking issue nearly thirty years ago:

    they need to make credible threats (which can be explicit or implicit)

    Thirty years, ago, the police asked me: Did he say exactly what he was going to do to you?

    Unless I had explicitly detailed threats, I had no protection.

    In the very least, that has improved.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      RawrIhavePijinni
      12/10/15 5:05pm

      It still depends on where you are. Implicit threats are often not easily prosecuted. I know others who have also been stalked and since the threats were all implicit, the police were useless.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      lakedesirejinni
      12/10/15 7:10pm

      It’s gotten better in even 15 years, too. I was cyberstalked by a classmate when I was a teenager, during the AOL days of the internet. My parents and I went to the police with evidence in hand (I printed everything, such as my website, which he hacked and replaced with porn and my name/address) and they said they couldn’t do anything since it was online. Luckily, a police officer called the stalker anyways, and threatened to arrest him if he didn’t knock it off, and the guy believed him and stopped.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    BOOURNSSJoanna Rothkopf
    12/10/15 6:09pm

    I don’t know about the NYPD but it is a terrible experience trying to report stalkers to the LAPD. Several years ago, someone started leaving very bizarre notes for me around my apartment complex (in my laundry bag if left unattended at any time, stuck in my door, on my car) that got increasingly disturbing. The guy stole all my underwear out of my laundry while it was in the washing machine, which was my final sign to go to the police. I didn’t know who was doing it: all I had were the letters, one of which had a cell phone number attached to it with the words ‘call me, let’s be friends’ following basically a rape fantasy.

    The cops laughed at me.

    They acted like I should be flattered that someone was so ‘into me’. The female cop stared at me with disdain and told me that ‘hipster rich kids’ whose ‘laundry got stolen’ wasn’t a police issue. I told her that my LAUNDRY was fine, someone had carefully picked through piles of my soggy belongings to specifically take all my underwear. They had me fill out a theft complaint and told me there was nothing I could do. I asked them about calling the number. They’d pass it along, they said. My building manager, who was very disturbed by the incident, called later that day with security footage of the culprit as well as an address. The cops didn’t see a real crime and left it to my building’s security to catch the guy (he was squatting in what was supposed to be a bike currier shop on the bottom floor of the building) and evict him. I’m just lucky that my building upped security and the guy wasn’t crazier or more obsessed so that nothing more radical happened...it probably helped that he was caught by security the day before I went to Europe for a month.

    Another friend of mine, a man, had a similar experience. He’d led the wrong nut job on and now she was texting him literally thousands of time a day, babbling about how God meant for them to be together, going back and forth between confessing her love to her hatred to their fate to Jesus to Satan to how she would hurt anyone who got between them to how she’d rather see them both dead than apart. I went with him to the cops. He’s a tall, athletic, handsome guy, not that it matters if some demented woman had a gun or I don’t know, the acid she threatened to throw in my face after sitting in her car all day and seeing the two of us go to a work lunch together. The cops snickered again. How could he be afraid of a WOMAN, they asked. Come on.

    Eventually, she did some property damage and it went to court...she had a crazy outburst and the judge saw her for what she was, and did what the police wouldn’t, which was issue a psych eval and a restraining order.

    TL;DR but the LAPD don’t give a shit about random stalkers and basically think if you say you have one, you’re an annoying egotist.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      AstridLuBOOURNSS
      12/10/15 6:28pm

      Replying to promote. These stories are bizarre and awful and should be read.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      InternetDoctorMDBOOURNSS
      12/10/15 6:52pm

      Police, the only time they actually do anything worthwile is retire.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    KaraThrace,LikeEverybody,LovesHypnoToadJoanna Rothkopf
    12/10/15 5:04pm

    this guy is really dangerous and it’s so sad that america has no way to deal with him and get him the help he very obviously needs, while keeping him away from others as he obviously cannot NOT be dangerous. this is someone that should be locked up and in full-time care with forced meds so he can’t hurt anyone including himself.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      TelleseronKaraThrace,LikeEverybody,LovesHypnoToad
      12/10/15 6:12pm

      ^ this.

      I’m all for citizen’s rights, but sorry this guy needs to be locked up for a long time, and seen by doctors and other health professionals. It is horrible that we basically turn them out on the street, until they end up hurting someone. Turning our society into a hyenas-versus-gazelles situation, where our only defense is to be one among many and hope you don’t get taken down and eaten.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      moonbunnychanKaraThrace,LikeEverybody,LovesHypnoToad
      12/10/15 7:13pm

      It is next to impossible in America to force and adult to get help against their will, or stay in a facility they desperately need to be in. I know this from personal family experience, where we were told pretty much point blank by police that there was nothing they could do until she actually hurt someone. That’s pretty messed up.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    DR honkhonkhonk, tyvmJoanna Rothkopf
    12/10/15 5:04pm

    Just want to point out how there isn’t that much difference between these off-the-wall tweets and the messages you get from run of the mill bar/catcall/tinder/okc messages, verbal or electronic. It is REALLY hard to tell at the beginning of an interaction whether to be nice (i.e. not being perceived as potentially a bitch but possibly inviting someone to get obsessed) or cold (i.e. not leading anyone on but potentially coming across as rude). For everyone who’s ever been like “she shouldn’t have been leading me on,” or “God she was such a bitch to me,” this is the dilemma. It’s just impossible to tell without risking.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      ad infinitumDR honkhonkhonk, tyvm
      12/10/15 5:25pm

      It’s the stalking version of Schrodinger’s rapist.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      Rihanna is the one trueDR honkhonkhonk, tyvm
      2/12/16 3:02pm

      Yuuuup. And that’s why I always lean toward being bitchy, rather than friendly to random dudes at the bar/on the street/at the gym, wherever. I’m not a bitch, It’s just self-defense.

      Reply
      <